I made the mistake of not locking the bathroom door on a Saturday night as I ran to take a pee. Shelby runs in, stops dead in her tracks and says "Mommy, you big girl now!!!" as I was mid-stream... "Ahhh yes, Mommy is a big girl now!" I squealed enthusiastically... "Don't you want to be a big girl too?!"
"Nope!" she laughs and runs away. Not a bad concept, my dear... not a bad concept.
Sometimes I wish I was not a grown up. The pressures and responsibilities of life can sometimes be unrealistically daunting. Many things in my life have changed. My world around me is not the same (almost the opposite of, say, 5-10 years ago!)… but one thing has remained constant in my life for many, many years: my husband.
In the same month that I turned 31, I had also been with my husband for HALF of my life... yes folks, you read that correctly: HALF. Where on earth did the time go?!
When I met my husband, our idea of 'going out' was either hanging out at each other’s houses or hiking in the hills behind my parents' old house. Watching him work on his old Chevelle and attending Good Guys car shows with him became a habit pretty quick. Following him around to softball games, tattoo parlors, to get a tri-tip sandwich at the corner restaurant in our neighborhood... you name it... if he was there, I wasn't far behind. From our first bare apartment while we lived on Hamburger Helper (to this day, neither he or I can stand the sight of it!) to our current home we have built together with our children-- as many would put it, I was ‘sprung!’, and in a way, I guess I still am.
Don’t get me wrong. Our relationship is not perfect. We have our ups and downs just like any other married couple. Marriage is challenging, to say the least. And he and I are both 1/2 Portuguese & stubborn as ever… so this DOES NOT help on the down days!!
But spending half of our lives together has taught me so much:
1. You can never change a person, they are who they are: that is half of the reason you fell in love with them in the first place.
2. People change on their own, we get older and grow: that is the other reason you fell in love with that person, you had faith in who they would one day become.
3. People make mistakes: What happens as a result of those mistakes is what will allow you to chose your next paths in life.
4. No one is perfect: As hard as I try to be the ‘right’ one… I still screw up from time to time (although I rarely admit it!)
But as Paul always tells me “I still love you.”
Yet even on those 'difficult days' … there is nothing more beautiful than seeing my husband play with our girls and hearing their giggles and squeals of laughter--never in a million years could I ever imagine the joys of sharing a family with that man!
I always tell my husband that the day I stop yelling is the day I don’t love him anymore—I yell because I CARE! Many people don’t understand this and think it’s childish and wrong… but the day that I stop caring and let everything go is the day we have a REAL problem… not when I screech at him for leaving a wet towel on the floor, once again!
I will always tell my children not to be in a rush to grow up. It would have been nice if my youngest could have been a‘big kid now!’ and used that darn $50 potty seat I bought her… but I guess for now I’ll be the grown up. Yes, Mommy is a big girl now… and Daddy is a big boy now too.