Picture this—your husband’s knee surgery coincides with your big sales presentation. Both land on the first day of school, during which Junior develops a severe case of separation anxiety and you get your period four days early. Worst-case scenario or just another day in the life of a working mom?

While it’s impossible to anticipate every problem you’ll experience as a working mom, there are a few common ones that are very likely to come up on the battlefield. Being smart and cautious around these land mines is what separates the working women from the working girls. Do you have what it takes to survive and thrive as a mom with a full-time job? Of course you do! Here’s the intel you need to know.

Handling a last-minute meeting
Your boss calls an urgent 5:30 p.m. meeting, the exact time that you’re supposed to relieve the sitter. You don’t want to look like a clock-watcher or miss crucial after-hours meetings, so prepare as best you can for short-notice gatherings. Keep in mind, it’s a two-way street: You want to leave work at the last minute when your baby spikes a fever, so it makes sense to stay late if you can when your boss asks you. 

Make preemptive strikes by discussing this scenario with your boss, spouse, and daycare provider ahead of time. Talk to your partner about what you’ll do when whoever is planning to pick up the baby can’t do it and what to do if you both can’t make it. Try to keep in touch during the day—it’s safe to assume that either of you could get tripped up at the last minute. If you have a nanny, talk in advance about those cases when both you and your partner are late. Could she stay late in exchange for a prenegotiated after-hours rate? Or take your child to a neighbor to wait for you? To be fair to your nanny, if you’re often late, adjust the hours. If your child is at a daycare center, know the late policy, which often involves a hefty fee. Consider arranging a backup plan with another child’s parents in case something unexpected pops up for any of you.

Still no luck? Call for reinforcements from Team Backup. All working moms must have people to cover in the case of a crisis. Your Team B could include friends, neighbors, stay-at-home moms, and other working moms. Reciprocate proactively by making it a point to do your allies favors when you can, not only when they’re in crisis mode.

When you simply can’t get a backup, determine if you must attend the meeting. Could someone take notes and fill you in later? Could this meeting take place first thing in the morning? Could you call in from home? Don’t be afraid to ask if there’s a way to make this meeting work without rearranging your caregiving responsibilities.

Staying awake in a meeting

Working moms don’t get enough sleep and working moms with a sick kid often don’t get any sleep. At times, staying awake at work will be a sheer act of will, especially during endless meetings with speakers filibustering on office supplies and cost containment. Some tips for staying wide-eyed:

Prep. Ten minutes before the meeting, drink a glass of water, eat a handful of nuts, and stretch. If you haven’t been mainlining coffee all day, a small hit of caffeine can help.

Don’t slump. Sit up straight with shoulders back and feet on the floor. An uncomfortable position makes it harder for you to doze off. If you get too comfortable, you’ll soon be snoring.

Get the blood flowing. Do leg lifts under the table. Squeeze a hand exercise ball. Get your heart pumping, but don’t go too far. Jogging in place will cause all the other bored-out-of-their-mind attendees to focus on you, not the speaker.

Drink. Bring a big glass of water and drink it—also an excuse for frequent bathroom breaks.

Pinch yourself. If you start to nod off, pull your hair, pinch yourself, or poke yourself with a pen. Pain will bring you back.

Getting out of a client meeting
Depending on your line of work, you may have lots of after-hours meetings and events. Because you know they will happen, and usually at the worst possible time, be prepared to side-step the less crucial ones.

If you know the client well, simply say that you have to get home and offer to have lunch the next day instead. “I’m so sorry, I have a conflict” is a perfectly acceptable excuse. There is no need to overshare about the details of your marriage, your child’s health, or your nanny’s personal life. State your case with a definitive tone and keep it brief.

Still, there will be that last-minute “I need you to stay as late as it takes to get this done” request that you cannot refuse. If there’s no room for flexibility, see if a colleague can join you and excuse yourself early. If you’re backed into a corner and your partner can’t cover the kids, speed-dial your backups.

You may need to shift around or share some of your family responsibilities so that you can refocus on your career for awhile. If there’s a legitimate reason why you’ve been off your game, consider sharing this with your boss, but only in the context of how you are now going to correct the situation.

Managing a boss who isn’t a parent

Managers who don’t have kids can forget that there’s a world outside the office walls. Handle a boss who eats and breathes work with care. Your request to leave in the middle of the day to attend a third-grade performance of “A Day at the Zoo” may be met with a bewildered stare. He can’t necessarily appreciate how cute your little lions are or know how much lion cubs cry when they don’t see their mommy in the audience.

• Be visible in times of anticipated need. If Thursday night is always a crunch because the budget is due on Friday, stay late or work after your kids are in bed. Being proactive will engender goodwill for the times you can’t work after hours.
• Pounce on any mention of non-work-related topics. Does your boss love to run marathons? Encourage your boss to go for a run while you handle things at the office.
• Ask about your boss’s family and pets. Your boss may start to see a connection between taking Wolfie, the Siberian husky, to the trainer and taking your son to clarinet lessons.
• Know your audience. If your office is not big on kids, resist the temptation to cover your desk with photos of your kids and their artwork. Instead, limit yourself to one photo and one masterpiece—feel free to rotate them frequently.

Five ways to sneak out  of a meeting

We’ve all had the experience of too many meetings keeping us from getting our real work done. Playing hooky from group gatherings sometimes is a necessity to stay sane. What to do:

Delegate. Ask a member of your team to take notes for you during the portion of the meeting that you miss. Follow up by letting your boss or client know that you’re up to speed.

Plan your escape. Before the meeting starts, tell the group that you unfortunately need to leave early. No need to explain further since you’re cutting out to do actual work.

Establish your presence. Make an insightful or clever comment at the start of the meeting so that others remember that you were, in fact, in attendance.

Position yourself strategically. Scope out the room and sit where you can make your escape as nonchalantly and quietly (be wary of squeaky chairs) as possible.

Skip excuses. Have a brief, noncommittal answer, such as “I had a deadline,” ready in case anyone questions why you made an early exit. No need to go into details.

BUY THE BOOK NOW

Excerpted from Working Mom Survival Guide, by Suzanne Riss and Teresa Palagano; a Working Mother magazine book, © 2011 Weldon Owen Inc.

Illustrated by Nishan Akgulian