My worst fear came true.

As we piled in the car to take Forest on his first family visitation experience, he asked about my baby.

"Where's Liam? Has he been asking about me?"

And no matter how many different ways I prepared for that question, my answer still felt forced.

"Well, honey, he's only 3 and doesn't realize how long you've been gone yet."

"Oh." he said. The answer seemed to appease him.

But my gut was wrenching.

Our visitation went well. Forest had many stories to tell and shared all kinds of news about happenings at camp. And while I enjoyed listening to everything - and was grateful that he was so incredibly well-behaved on this visit - I still felt that twinge.

As a mom, am I not doing enough to encourage Liam to miss his brother? Shouldn't he miss his brother?

The guilt almost kept me from enjoying the lunch, the movie, and the time with my son - which is what the visit was SUPPOSED to be about, right?

The good news is that I survived.

And that's the irony, I guess. We fret about our worst fears - and then when they DO happen, often it's a momentary anxiety that eventually subsides.

That's what happened here. On the way home, I realized I handled everything well, answered Forest's questions, and he didn't seem any worse for the wear.

Then I started kicking myself for not beingmore in the moment. More focused on Forest and instead being selfishy concerned with my own feelings.

Yeah, guilt abounds when you let it.

But the good news is that as a mom, I'm getting it. I'm figuring this stuff out. So many women go through their entire adult life never realizing these moments are tests of our faith.

Do we truly believe that good will come out of the situation? Do we truly commit ourselves to seeing things through - even if they are difficult?

Sometimes the right thing is harder than the easy thing - and we should do it anyway.

Upon my return home, I talked briefly with my baby, who mistakenly thinks Forest is "at the Doctor's" - a reference to a time early last year when Forest was hospitalized for nearly 2 weeks with pancreatitis.

Out of the mouths of babes, huh? Liam had every confidence that Forest was in good hands. He wasn't worried a bit.

Why should I?

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Lisa and Forest are currently working on writing a book about this camp experience. This blog features bits and pieces of Lisa's perspective. Watch this blog for weekly updates, and sign up at http://www.TheRenaissanceMom.com to get notified when the book is released!