A bi-racial couple, who is going to get married soon and become a blended family recently asked how to respond to people who stare or say rude comments to them. 

Your extended family

You can talk with your extended family, and prepare them for the future marriage of you and your partner.  Let them know that your future husband and his daughter are a different color, and you love them both very much.  Stress to your family that you want their support and love as you begin your blended family.  Continue to talk with them- answer their questions, listen to their fears and concerns, and spend time with them as they get accustomed to your new family.  Tell them about your fiance and his daughter, and then provide opportunities for them to get to know each other.

The outside world

As far as the outside world, you can't control their thoughts or actions.  Sometimes people don't like what they don't understand, or what is unfamiliar to them.  You can't control their reactions, but you can control your response.  You can be polite and kind, and ignore the rudeness, stares or impolite comments.

You can also teach your children about these experiences.  Help them learn to respond with love and not hate to people who discriminate against your family.  You can make a difference in this world by your actions, and how you train your children to react. 
 

Blended families are tough.  Make sure you and your spouse focus on your marriage to keep your blended family strong.  Good luck to you and your blended family.

Shirley Cress Dudley

Blended and Step Family Expert

http://www.BlendedFamilyAdvice.com