Maggie Gyllenhaal stepped out from brother Jake’s shadow when she starred in the quirky Secretary. Now the Dark Knight actress finds that her love for daughter Ramona demands soul-searching— and career sacrifices. Growing up in Los Angeles, I was surrounded by plenty of working moms, including my grandmother, a pediatrician, and my mother, a writer and producer. This seemed very natural to me. I just thought, Well, that’s what moms do. They work and raise their kids. I was brought up to believe I could do anything I wanted professionally and, of course, be a mother at the same time—but I’m finding that it’s complicated. It requires a lot of thought and planning, and I haven’t figured it out yet.

Now that I have my own daughter, there are definitely times I think, Why do I have a job? Sometimes I fantasize about staying home with Ramona all day, so that I don’t miss a thing in this amazing 2-year-old’s life. But I’m an artist; I love my job. And I work on projects that inspire me. I feel very, very lucky to be in the position where going to work means I’m feeding myself. As a mother, you have to make sure you do that, because that will nourish your child, too. 

I am happy that Ramona has a real, strong, deep connection with me. But it’s difficult to keep this up when I’m making a movie and working 14 hours a day—managing both isn’t easy. So the best I can do is to try to figure it out on a project-by-project basis. Since Ramona was born, I’ve searched for scripts that justify being away from her all day. Although in the past I may have accepted roles that I found kind of interesting, now the role has to be amazing to be worth being away from my daughter. Lately, when I consider a role, I ask myself: Is this good for my child as well as good for me? Sometimes it’s not. And so what do you do? Do you do it anyway? It’s very difficult for me to say yes to a project if it’s not going to be a good experience for Ramona, too.