She’s a wallflower; you’re the life of the party. Couch potato; soccer star. Stylesetter; slob. When raising an opposite, focus on understanding your child rather than on your differences.
Kathy Weymiller describes herself as a “borderline-clumsy nonathlete who loves the arts.” The Gig Harbor, WA, elementary school principal’s idea of a perfect day includes watching opera on PBS. So, what’s the problem? Her two sons, Alex, 15, and Ben, 13, couldn’t be more different. Not only do they excel in math and science—Kathy’s worst subjects—they’re also athletes. Before she could say “La Bohème,” her life suddenly revolved around basketball and batting practice. “When my sons started playing basketball this year,” Kathy says, “I had to get the For Dummies book because I knew nothing. I’d never even been to a game in my entire life.”
Watch Suzanne Riss, Editor-In-Chief of Working Mother Magazine on the CBS Early Show
Kathy thought she’d finally have a quiet, artsy kid to join her at the theater when she and her husband adopted their daughter, Ellie, from Russia. Ellie, now 5, has other ideas. “Inside her tiny body is a great big personality,” says Kathy. So much for mommy-daughter quiet time listening to Yo-Yo Ma. Ellie would much rather chase her brothers around. “At their sports games,” Kathy says, “Ellie will march right up to the dugout and shout, ‘All right, boys, I want to see hustle today!’ And they’ll listen to her!”
Raising a child who’s nothing like you can feel like a voyage to an alternate universe. But it’s also an opportunity to nurture a unique personality rather than experience a mini-me. “Every child is born with a particular temperament, which doesn’t change, only evolves,” explains child development specialist Betsy Brown Braun, author of You’re Not the Boss of Me. “From day one, it’s your job to get to know your children; it’s not their job to get to know you.” Still, knowing them can be tricky if you don’t “get them.” Meet six “dynamic duos,” opposing parent-child personalities that clash more than mesh. Our experts sort through their challenges and confusion—so you can discover ways to help your own child thrive.
SpongeBob vs. Zen Master
Your child is high-spirited; You’re laid-back.
1
2
3
4
5
6