If you could have anything this Mother's Day, what would you wish for? A few days on a deserted beach? A world without clocks? A self-cleaning house, complete with self-cleaning kids? Hmmm. Sounds like someone could use a bit more balance in her life. You may think you'd have plenty of poise if it weren't for the kids, the career, the husband, the boss and the 101 other things that keep you twirling and swirling through life. But what if, instead of bemoaning your nonbalanced existence, you embraced it? Even thrived in it? After all, sometimes the only difference between delight and despair is our state of mind.

To help in your pursuit of happiness, we asked 1,000 working mothers to tell us what keeps them off kilter. They told us about everything from money woes to sleep deprivation, but there was one underlying theme: Working moms feel they have to be all things to everyone. "There's this sense of nobility associated with the idea of giving up everything you want and sacrificing yourself on the altar of motherhood," says Lonnae O'Neal Parker, a Maryland mom of three and author of I'm Every Woman: Remixed Stories of Marriage, Motherhood and Work. This notion was reinforced by a mom who pleaded, "I know I could feel more balanced if I just had one minute to pee in peace."

This isn't about how to work harder or faster, or how to plan better so that you can cram everything into your day and still have time left over for kickboxing. It's a guide to shifting your perspective and letting go—thriving in chaos and accepting imperfection. Change your negative, balance-blocking thinking, and you can change your life. We've tapped experts to address the top five reasons you said you weren't finding balance. Here, their mind-altering approach.

Old view: After meeting my work demands and my family's needs, I just don't have any time for myself.
Switch to: I have the right to a moment—many moments—all to myself.
Just saying that out loud probably makes you feel a pang of guilt. But if you don't take the time to reconnect with yourself, to replenish and renew, you will always feel overextended.


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