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 Family Focus - Custody Lost |
| Due to shifts in traditional roles, working mothers now face even tougher challenges-including unparalleled custody wars. |
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By: Sally Abrahms,
Are more women facing the impossible choice between keeping a career that pays the bills and living with their children? When it comes to heartbreaking custody wars, people inside and outside the courts say that the growing number of stay-at-home dads and breadwinner moms means more working mothers are fighting an unprecedented uphill battle.
Read about current statutes and ...
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| Featured Articles |
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Custody Battle: Dad's Story  |
| “Yes, but who’s going to cook them dinner?” When Ben Oshman got that question from a judge hearing his request for custody of his three ... |
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| What About Santa? |
| As a child you sent letters to the North Pole and did your best to be nice and not naughty. But now you’re wondering if ...
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| Tracking Your Teen |
| It’s Friday night and you’re trying to be levelheaded as your teen attempts to test some of your rules. You want to know where she’s ... |
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| The Language of Custody | |
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A change in terminology meant to help kids, and an update on joint custody statutes.
A nationwide trend to change the custody language—doing away with the adversarial concept of “winners” and “losers”—is gaining ground across the country. Mental health experts have long understood the benefits for kids to have a relationship with both parents and state law is beginning to reflect that. Instead of such terms as “visitation” or “custody” schedules, for example, they are called “parenting plans,” “parenting time,” or “parenting rights and responsibilities” in Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Maine, Minnesota, Montana, ...
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| The Potty Blues | |
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Coping with slip-ups
When other moms at the office moaned about the never-ending potty-training process, you couldn’t help but boast about your child’s swift mastery. Whoops. His preschool is calling for the third time this week: a “little accident”— again—and he’s used up his last change of clothes. The teacher wants to talk about putting your son back in diapers. Humbled, you wonder what went wrong. Embarrassing as it feels, “potty training regression is a very common thing just about all parents experience,” ...
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| Embrace Differences | |
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Helping immigrant kids
I hate school. The other kids are mean to me.” Every mom dreads these words. But when your family has come here from another country—perhaps for your work or your husband’s—it may be your school-age child who struggles the most to adapt. So worries about her acceptance at school have even greater heft.
Grade school, a time when kids are navigating how to fit in with their peers, can be difficult for even the most self-assured child. But for ...
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| Time for a Divorce? | |
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How to know when you need to make the hard choice.
Making that call to a divorce attorney isn’t easy. But if you answer yes to expert Cathy Meyer’s top questions, chances are it’s time to pick up the phone.
Do you worry often over the problems in your marriage?
Do you make excuses for your spouse?
Are your kids seeing too much fighting?
Are you the only one trying to solve problems?
Are you unable to get what you need?
Does the bad outweigh ...
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| Tips: Reduce Family Holiday Travel Stress | |
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Are your kids driving you crazy?
You may experience holiday stress that's related to finances or family, but children and teens are prone to stress related to holiday travel. That's because they are out of their routine, they get bored easily, they may have a hard time with transitions, and they pick up the mood of their parents.
To reduce travel stress (for you and the kids), here are eight strategies:
1. Plan well. Take time to develop a detailed itinerary. Estimate how ...
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| Have a Safe and Happy Boo-Day | |
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With a little preparation and a clear plan, your family will stay safe and sound on Halloween.
Once you’ve shopped for the Hannah Montana and Wolverine costumes, hunted for the best deals on mini-Mars Bars and carved up the perfect pumpkin, remember to take precautions so your children and others will be injury-free on October 31. “If your kids are heading out for trick-or-treating, following a few simple rules can ensure a safe and enjoyable time for everyone,” says Michelle Boykins of the National Crime Prevention Council. Her sage advice:
Set outing regulations. Kids should travel ...
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| Time Change Sleeping Tips | |
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When clocks fall back an hour on November 1, our children's sleep-wake habits can fall apart. A sleep expert offers tips to help during the change and throughout their little lives.
The end of daylight saving time can be a curse for the working mom. You already have to get up earlier than your child to shower, prepare lunch/bottles/diaper bag, make breakfast, get everyone dressed and be to work on time. When the clock changes on November 1, your child will be waking one hour earlier, eating into your morning ritual and making it that much harder to get everything done. She’ll also be off her regular schedule and need your ...
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| Sleep Better, Baby | |
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Tips on getting her to make it through the night.
3:44 a.m. “Waaa-aarrrr! Waaa-aarrrr!” There he goes again…and again. You’ve been up with the baby more times than your foggy brain can recall. Now you’re fried—and there’s that big meeting at 9:00 a.m. Hasn’t your son read the chapter of the baby book that says infants will sleep through the night by 9 months?
Like the rest of us, babies dance—and doze—to their own drummer. Which means that some may sleep eight hours straight at 4 months and some ...
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| Cultivating Curiosity | |
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Awakening your child's interest in the world around him
You’re cooking dinner on a Tuesday— difficult enough, given your killer schedule. But then your preschooler starts in with the questions: “Is that a chicken?” “Is it dead?” “How did it die?” “Are we going to eat it?” “Why do we eat dead things?” Do you really have to answer this stuff? Couldn’t you just offer an I-don’t-know shrug and leave it at that. This is one of those times to show genuine interest and encourage your child’s inquisitiveness, says ...
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| Order Helps Readers | |
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How getting organized will help your kid become a stronger student.
Once upon a time, you read The Very Hungry Caterpillar to your daughter so many times that you’re still inclined to eat one apple on Monday and two pears on Tuesday. But now that she’s “big” and in grade school, reading aloud to her has succumbed to homework, hip-hop dance classes and—admit it— Hannah Montana. You know that reading to kids knows no age limit and can get them to read more on their own. Your story now: guilt.
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| Daddy on Board | |
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Engaging dad to have a bigger role in baby's life
You’re responding to emails at work, but your mind is on this morning’s peek-aboo game. Even in your sleep-deprived haze, you just can’t wait for those blissful moments with your baby. But while you’re cooing and cuddling, your husband is hovering in the background. He looks, well, lost. You know he’s excited about this baby, so why isn’t he bonding? And P.S.: You could use a bit more help.
While some dads jump right into caregiving, others waver about ...
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| I Hear You, Mommy | |
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Tactics to make yo toddler pay attention
Your life feels a lot like Bill Murray’s in Groundhog Day —work, cook, bathtime, bedtime, sleep, wake up the next day…repeat. One thing that would ease the repetition: if that preschooler of yours would just listen. At bathtime it’s “Let’s not splash,” but he does. At bedtime it’s “Time to stop talking,” but he doesn’t. At laundry time it’s “Can you throw your clothes in the hamper?” but he won’t.
Though it may not seem like it, your child ...
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| "I Hate My Brother" | |
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Coping with battling siblings
“She got more ice cream than I did!” “He took my American Girl doll!” “I hate him!” After a roller-coaster workday, the last thing you want to hear is the kids’ bickering. You try to calm them, ask them to play nice, suggest they share and behave like humans. Still they fight—nearly every night. And every evening you hit the pillow exhausted, dreaming of sibling serenity.
“Sibling relationships can be very frustrating and volatile,” says Laurie Kramer, PhD, a ...
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| Educating a Gifted and Learning Disabled Child | |
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Is your child receiving adequate help at school?
Your son, the math whiz who also has an extensive vocabulary, seems unable to understand his reading assignments or complete his homework. At the advice of your child’s teacher, you agree to have him evaluated for a learning disability. When the results come in, you are more confused than ever. Your child performed at an advanced level in some areas, but extremely poorly in others. Is it possible that your child is both gifted and learning disabled? What does ...
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| Make Summer Count | |
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Transform routine activities into math-learning opportunities.
My mom was the sort to mentally compute the total for all four of her kids’ back-to-school gear before the cash register did. And I’m pretty good at guestimating tabs, too (I always review receipts and typically find errors). Certainly, math is a part of everyday life, but in this age of graphing calculators and computers that do everything for us, how do we show kids how to connect math to the life they lead?
“Kids ...
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| Great Schools for Working Moms | |
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Our readers share their best school policies
What do working parents prize in schools? Policies that make it possible for us to stay involved in our children’s education. Here, readers share some innovative ones from their schools.
A group of Grayson, GA, schools, including ours, offers evening and weekend activities such as a skate night, mother-and-son bowling, a father-daughter dance, a chili cook-off and a Christmas-shopping morning. This has made it possible for me to spend time with my 6-year-old in his school environment, as well ...
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| In It Together | |
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For child discipline that works, create a united front
Your grade schooler is practicing his free throws in the dining room—again—and your chandelier is the hoop. You say: “How many times have I told you, no ball playing in the house? Please put the ball away.” He says: nothing, as he bounces the ball. You sigh, as your husband strolls in and no sooner gives your child “the look” than the ball is put away. So it goes, despite your best efforts at discipline.
Kids can be clever ...
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| MySpace--the New Study Hall? | |
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The Educational Benefits of Social Networking Sites
No need to track down your teenager when you get home from work. She’s right where she usually is—in front of her computer, posting on Facebook. Your rule: Homework first, social networking second. Her rebuttal: I’m doing homework and networking. Oh really? Really. “Students turn to MySpace, Facebook and other online networks for more than just socializing,” says Christine Greenhow, EdD, a learning technologies researcher at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis. “They may log on for a quick study ...
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| How to Keep Preschoolers Fit | |
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Tips for getting increasingly sedentary kids to be active an hour a day.
From the moment your child could walk, he shot around faster than a speeding bullet, leaped tall buildings (or at least chunky chairs), bounced off the walls— and left you and his caregiver gasping for breath as you tried to keep him in your sights and out of trouble. But now that he’s 5, he’s sitting more often than scrambling. You love that he likes books, is a whiz at interactive DVD puzzles and can build a LEGO metropolis. But ...
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| How to Find a Great School | |
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Learn the key components that make an elementary school the right choice for your child
Picking the right elementary school for your child, or making sure your district option fits the bill, is crucial—and confusing. Our experts help you determine which schools really make the grade.
Download your printable school-visit checklist here
A handful of kids gather in a cozy classroom to chat about the latest book for their reading group. For third grader Jillian, 9, the daily session is a chance to dig into Inkheart , the Cornelia Funke fantasy with a ...
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| How to Advocate for Your Child and School | |
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Getting involved
Maybe you think your child’s special needs aren’t being met, or the school budget doesn’t have room for music classes. Whatever your concern, there’s a lot you can do, even with a busy work schedule.
Befriend the classroom teacher. Make sure your child’s teacher knows you and is aware that you want to work with her to maximize your child’s experience, says USC professor of education Dr. Margo Pensavalle. If possible, offer to help with field trips and ...
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| Is TV Bad for Babies? | |
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New fuel for the screentime debate
It can be tempting, when the pasta boils over and the dryer signal sounds, to sit your little one in front of the TV so you can get something done. You know that babies aren’t supposed to have screen time. But this show is supposed to be smart, so why not? That is the question.
A new study suggests that an hour of TV doesn’t make babies smarter, but it does no harm, either. Harvard researchers measured the television ...
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| New Age of Tag-Team Parenting | |
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Today's economy is fueling a rise in shift parenting for dual-income couples. Is there any time left for the marriage or work-life balance?
My Working Mother colleague Sheri ArbitalJacoby and her husband have been doing it for years. No, not that. I’m talking about tag-team parenting—an often intricate dance of one parent picking up where the other leaves off when it comes to child care and managing the kids’ needs.
Sheri, our managing editor, and husband Jerry, a freelance music teacher who has to schedule lessons when he can, have worked out a system in which he gives their two school-age children ...
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| Discipline Another Parent's Child? | |
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It's a sensitive subject, but a parenting expert says the answer is pretty clear.
One breezy, balmy New York City summer afternoon, I was walking my then-6-year-old daughter to ballet day camp. On the way, we ran into one of her fellow dance campmates and her caregiver. As we all lightheartedly strolled together, the girls cavorting a few yards ahead of the adults, the other child suddenly pushed and punched my daughter. My child wasn’t hurt, but I was disturbed and immediately ran to them, got down to eye level with the other girl and ...
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| Stop Brain Drain with Word Play | |
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How to get your child reading, writing, talking and thinking over school break
With enticing distractions like the beach, pool parties and barbecues, the last thing on your child’s mind is learning. But she needn’t suffer from academic regression over the summer. Instead, you can help her boost language skills in such simple yet engaging ways; she won’t even know her brain is at work. “Over the summer it’s important to maintain the skills children have been learning and studying in school,” says Laurie Syvertsen, a sixth-grade reading/language arts and social studies elementary ...
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| Talking As A Safety Net | |
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Seven Tips to Help Keep Your Kids Safe This Summer
1. Have a date night once a week with your child. We are often too distracted by our busy schedules and long to-do lists to take the time to sit down and really connect with our kids. Take the time to be with your child one-on-one once a week—no phone, no TV, no internet—and talk to one another. You might go to a restaurant, an ice cream parlor or the local park. You might even have a picnic in the ...
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| Stop Brain Drain: Nature's Classroom | |
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Teachers call it the Summer brain drain. But it's up to you and nature to keep your child connected to what she's learned.
You probably hear or read this every year when spring buds are blossoming into warm-weather flora: Children don’t just stay the course academically during the lazy, hazy days of summer; they actually lose ground if they don’t engage in learning activities. But there’s a simple solution in the guise of Mother Nature. “Kids need to experience the things they’ve learned in school,” says Jeanne Bouza Rose, enrichment specialist at the North Side Elementary School in East Williston, NY. “The natural ...
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| All By Himself | |
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Why solo play is more than OK
You left work late, got stuck in traffic, and now you’re freaking out, afraid of losing precious bonding time with your toddler. Because that’s what working moms are supposed to do, right? (1) Walk in the door, (2) drop bag, (3) get down on the floor and (4) play with the babe. Only your little guy is so busy trying to balance his stacking cups that he barely notices you. Instead, he goes right on doing his own thing. (Sob.) ...
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| Why Don't I Have a Dad? | |
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The single mom dilemma
“Why can’t you come on class trips like other moms?” “Why do you pick me up so late?” “Why do you have to work so much?” We’ve all been on the receiving end of these zingers. But when you’re a single working mother and your child’s father is not around, those kinds of questions can make your heart race and your gut ache—not to mention fuel the guilt single moms often feel about raising a child alone. And should your ...
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| In Coed Company | |
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Coping with your tween's first boy/girl parties
You say it every time another school year ends: She’s growing up so fast. But lately, thanks to MySpace, Gossip Girl and Project Runway, your daughter has definitely graduated to tween status. She’s probably already expanded her circle of friends to include—gasp!—boys. Can the inevitable boy-girl parties be far behind?
Get ready, Mom: “These parties normally start in middle school, and they’re a big deal because they’re a precursor to dating,” says Lynne Kenney, PsyD, a pediatric psychologist and ...
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| Is He Ready for K? | |
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The pros and cons of waiting
You’ve cheered your young learner as he recited his A-B-C’s and 1-2-3’s along with Sesame Street, and you’ve taught him to say “hello” in four languages. But now that it’s time to start kindergarten, you wonder if he’s really ready to thrive. You may be thinking he’d do better with another advantage: a year’s time.
Some parents feel that holding their child back a year from kindergarten, called “redshirting,” will offer more time for cognitive and emotional growth—and a ...
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| Cool in a Crisis | |
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Information every child needs to know to handle emergencies
All kids should learn certain basics beginning in preschool, including their phone number, address and how and when to call 911. But will your child know what to do in an emergency? Yes, when you help him learn to problem-solve and think through situations logically. “Many parents overprotect their kids, making them less safe, even though on the surface you think you’re protecting them,” says Brad Smart, PhD, a coauthor of Smart Parenting: How to Raise Happy, Can-Do Kids . ...
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| 10 Ways to Save Your Child's Life | |
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The most important information you need to make sure your kids are safe and sound--and you're a little more sane.
You’ve sheepishly thumbed through nanny-cam brochures, wondering if you should plant a few in teddy bears to spy on your child’s caregiver. You’ve considered backpack-attachable GPS systems to track your child’s whereabouts. You’ve even stashed your stick deodorants far out of reach after hearing about a little boy who ate one and had to have his stomach pumped. Moms know that dangers lurk in our homes and out in the world. But did you realize that accidents—not illness or kidnapping—are ...
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| Texting and Sexting and Teens, Oh My! | |
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Go directly to your child and discuss why sexting-sending nude or suggestive pictures of yourself or sexual messages via texting-is a no go.
If, like me, you’re raising a tween or teen, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Isn’t it enough that we have to wrangle puberty, mood swings, hanging out, dating, the clothes, the laptops, the iPods, the hyped up cell phones, the demise of conversation and the rise of texting? Of course not. Now we have to deal with “sexting.” Yikes! What’s a savvy but stressed working mom to do?
Ah, where to start…. Let’s get to the immediate ...
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| Last-Minute Mother's Day Gifts | |
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Time is short and you still want to have a memorable gift for Mom from you and the kids. Here's some last-minute ideas that might make it on time.
If you’re still looking for a touching gift for the woman who gave you life or made sure you survived childhood, the one your kids call “Grandma,” we gathered some ideas from around the web that don’t need to be shipped and a couple great books that can be a quick pick up at a bookstore.
Crafty Gifts:
During your teen years, did you ever spend hours making the perfect “mix tape” for your crush? Thank mom for helping ...
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| Make a Difference - Host a Child | |
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Help create summertime memories that they'll cherish for years to come.
“It’s so great to see her be amazed by something outdoors, by something natural, which is really what the Fresh Air Fund is all about – to experience life outside the city for those two weeks,” says Deb Heath-Rogers, Fresh Air Fund volunteer host to thirteen-year-old Kloe.
The Fresh Air Fund’s Friendly Town program provides free summer vacations to children from disadvantaged communities in New York City. Every year, nearly 5,000 kids spend two weeks or ...
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| I'm Talkin' to Me | |
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When your preschooler talks to himself.
There are times when our running inner monologues are spoken out loud. A mumble or two that escapes when the boss goes on a tirade, a grumble that the trash has yet to be taken out, the “What was I doing?” when the mind goes blank. And now your preschooler seems to have the talk-to-yourself gene, constantly babbling as he builds his block tower or thumbs through Where the Wild Things Are . Should you be concerned?
This is ...
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| Nature Babies | |
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How time outdoors can benefit your baby-and you.
The baby didn’t sleep. The bus was late—again. After a crazy day in the office, you get home cranky, stressed and ready to flop. Taking your tot out to play in the backyard is the last thing you want to do. But before you turn on the TiVo, consider this: Enjoying the fresh evening air with your little one may be the best thing you can do, for both of you.
There’s good reason why many of us feel ...
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| Fight Fair | |
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Managing arguments in front of your kids
Between “Pass the salad” and “How was your day?” somehow the dinner conversation veered terribly off track. He muttered something about money, you countered with a bit of sarcasm, and the whole thing blew up, complete with name-calling— while your child watched. We all argue sometimes, and while we don’t mean to expose our kids to fights, it can happen before we realize what hit us. Then it hits our grade schoolers, too, in places you might not expect.
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| The Truth about Boys and Girls | |
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Sorting out the latest thinking on gender differences in children
Recent brain research seems to explain why “boys will be boys” and “girls will be girls.” Does this mean our kids are destined to play out gender roles, or do we ultimately have influence over their choices of toys, clothes and activities? Here’s the latest thinking, so you can decide on the best way to raise your child.
Read also about gender-neutral toys and coping with sticky gender-related questions from your kids.
When I found out that I ...
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| Talking About Gender with Your Kids | |
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Choosing a positive response
When it comes to dealing with those sticky gender-related things kids say and do, parents need to be honest about their own feelings, says renowned gender researcher Phyllis A. Katz, PhD, founder of the Institute for Research on Social Problems and in clinical private practice in New York City. “If you’re uncomfortable, it’s okay to say no,” she assures us. Here, her specific advice.
Your 3-year-old girl insists that she will never wear a dress, not even to ...
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| Gender-Neutral Toys | |
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Fill their toy box with fun non-stereotypical items that will encourage creativity
Active, curious kids need toys that offer the broadest range of developmental opportunities and encourage them to explore their own natural gifts, says Elizabeth Birch, president of TrueChild, a new national parent-founded nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids break through stereotypes and develop authentically and be true to themselves.
To help sons and daughters become their best self, she says, offer some of these gender-neutral playthings (all available at amazon.com ).
Play-Doh Super Craft Caddy
Candy ...
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| Aggressive Tactics | |
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Handling a pushy little kid
Uh-oh. Your 4-year-old is playing king of the playground—pushing and grabbing, hoarding toys—and reducing classmates to tears, reports his teacher. Naturally, you’re cringing. Why is your once-docile child now so hostile?
Don’t fret just yet. “It’s pretty common for kids to be aggressive at this age, largely because they’re trying to figure out how to socialize with others,” says Laura Hanish, PhD, an associate professor of child development at Arizona State University in Tempe. Preschoolers are learning how to ...
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| Hush, Baby | |
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Stressed-out little one?
What you already know: Along with the love, exhilaration and bliss that come with being a new mom comes, well, stress—both yours and your baby’s. In a sleep-deprived haze of round-the-clock feedings and diaper changes, you try to crack the code on why this little person cries and fusses and stresses when he does. It isn’t always a simple task.
What you need to know: An infant’s response to stress may be linked to a gene form some babies ...
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| About that Allowance | |
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It's never to early to teach good money habits
You blinked and suddenly your baby is a big first grader. She’s got pals she jumps rope with in the schoolyard, computer classes and even a little math homework. But along with these milestones comes another: She wants an allowance—you know, because “all my friends get one.” Should you give a 6-year-old cash? How much? How often? And the big question: Should it be tied to chores or grades?
Though money is a tough topic today, there can be ...
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| Fitting In Just fine | |
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Self-esteem & popularity
There she is, in front of the mirror…again. Your teenager is holed up in the bathroom completing a daily beauty regimen that makes even Paris Hilton look low-maintenance. She wants to look good, to be liked, to be popular—that’s clear.
You certainly don’t want to be a buzzkill, but the designer labels, the endless texting, the MySpace obsessing—is all this really necessary? If it makes her feel that she fits in, the answer may be yes (at least to a ...
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| Was I in Your Tummy? | |
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Ease into "the talk" with an adopted child
Now that she’s a precocious, take-no-prisoners preschooler, your child is determined to know everything: “Why is the sky blue? Why is your hair yellow and mine is black? Where did I come from?” And if your child was adopted, some questions can be especially complicated to answer. But answer you must.
If you haven’t yet talked about adoption with your child, start now. “She needs to learn this sensitive information from the people she trusts most—her parents,” says adoption ...
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| Find Europe on Your Home Turf | |
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Think global, stay local
Sketching the Eiffel Tower during conference calls. Falling asleep reading Frommer’s Portable Florence . Telling your grade schooler bedtime stories about a continent steeped in ancient history, artistic treasures, architectural wonders, scenic vistas—and, ooooh, the food. Yep, you’re dreaming of a European vacation and all your kid can gain from
it.
Unfortunately, the current economic nightmare is keeping you from clicking “Book It.” So consider this: You can get a satisfying and delicious taste of Europe without leaving North ...
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| Can't Breastfeed? | |
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Coping with the breastfeeding blues
You’re determined to do everything that’s best for your baby—and breastfeeding is a “best” that researchers and experts have been touting for years. It’s the right nutrition, it’ll make your baby smarter, etc., etc., shout media headlines.
So if you can’t give your baby breast milk, it’s likely to exacerbate that inevitable working-mother guilt. You know what? There are good reasons why some new moms choose not to breastfeed: health problems, low milk production, intense discomfort, frustration, adoption, a ...
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| Material World | |
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Taming the siren call of consumerism in your child
Uggs. Juicy hoodies. Another Wii accessory. These are just a few of the must-have items school-age kids are whining for. “Everybody has one but me!” your child rails. And sometimes, in your well-meaning desire to help her feel confident, you cave and pop for the item. But where does it end? It seems tomorrow brings yet another expensive demand.
It’s nothing new, according to Bonnie Harris, the author of Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll ...
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| A Really Nice Kid | |
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Nurturing kindness
Now that your “big girl” is in preschool (sigh) and learning from other adults, you hope she’s already picked up a thing or two from you: to say “please” and “thank you,” not to pick her nose. Of course, you also want her to be kind. Is this
something you can leave to her teachers, or can you be more deliberate in helping her learn to care?
Research shows that most kids are born with the capacity to be ...
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| Baby's First Holiday | |
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Tips for making sure your baby--and you--enjoy the magic of the season.
With well-meaning, joy-to-the-world intentions, many of us go nuts during the holidays—overspending, overeating, overextending. But for the welfare of your new baby, you’ve got to draw the line. Sure, you’re thrilled about introducing him to family and friends, hosting your traditional open house and traveling to Grandma’s—but not at the cost of your infant’s comfort and your sanity.
Practice saying, “This year, we’re taking it easy,” because if you’re stressed out, your baby will be affected, notes Blanche Benenson, ...
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| How to Keep Talking | |
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Communication strategies for moms of teens & tweens
When your child was a toddler, it took all your gentle might to pry her from your leg—she just couldn’t get enough of you. Even in grade school, she called you first thing after the bell rang to tell you about her day. So you figured that, despite what you’ve heard about other tweens and teens, yours would always confide in you. Wrong. These days you can barely force a yes or no from her, much less a full-blown conversation. ...
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| Election Day and Your Kids | |
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"Mom In Chief" author and leadership expert Jamie Woolf offers tips on getting your kids excited about the voting process.
If you think the endless 2008 election has been confusing for you, imagine how challenging the ins and outs of policy and pundits are for children to grasp. With the media offering so many mixed signals it is up to parents to make sure the youngest members of their families understand the responsibilities and rewards of voting. Workingmother.com blogger and Mom-in-Chief author Jamie Woolf has made a career out of teaching moms how to use workplace techniques to get the ...
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| Accentuate the Positive! | |
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Keeping kids upbeat
The iconic song title “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” may seem overly simple, but it does send a valuable message about being optimistic—one that applies even to little kids. While research on optimism suggests that it’s at least partly genetic, experts also say we can learn to be more positive, no matter how we’re wired. Another iconic phrase applies here as well: the earlier, the better.
So if your preschooler is a glass-half-empty kind of kid, you can steer her ...
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| Is Rough Play Okay? | |
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Managing high-energy play with your baby
He’s your baby, not a football, so the way some of your relatives toss him around at holiday gatherings makes you want to call a penalty on the play. All your baby has to do is glance at Uncle Ted and instantly he’s airborne, being swooped from a shoulder ride to rocket-speed flights around the living room. You watch, worry and wonder: Is your child safe? Or should you call a time-out?
Breathe easy. The boisterous child’s play that ...
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| Banish Bullying | |
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Tips for handling a problem every generation needs to face
Accept differences? Respect others? These lessons are lost on a bully. Despite many parents’ and schools’ efforts, bullying continues to loom large in schools across the country—and in our society as a whole.
“It’s a symptom of adult behavior that is still rampant and condoned,” says Robert W. Fuller, PhD, former president of Oberlin College and author of several books on rankism and bullying, including Dignity for All: How to Create a World Without Rankism. “An adult is regarded ...
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| Secrets of Scribbles | |
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Decoding your baby's artwork.
You come home from work one day to find your grinning toddler waiting for you, proudly offering his first work of art: a scribbled maze of yellow, red and blue crayon strokes. You promptly anchor his masterpiece to the fridge for all to appreciate. You see beauty (that others may not) in those random marks, but there’s even more than meets the eye.
A baby’s artwork offers a window to his burgeoning creativity as well as to his mental and ...
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| Puppy Love | |
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Coping with first crushes
You know your little guy isn’t a baby anymore. But you just weren’t prepared for him to come home from preschool and declare his love for a blue-eyed beauty in his class named Chloe. “Sure,” you say, “we love lots of people.” “No,” he asserts. Chloe is his girlfriend; he kissed her and wants to marry her. What?! Isn’t a 4- or 5-year-old just a little young, even for puppy love?
“The preschool years are when kids begin to ...
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| Clique Track | |
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When your kid is one of the "in" crowd
In the movie Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan morphs her clothes, interests and attitude to please the Plastics, the most popular girls in high school. Not exactly a novel notion. What is new, however, is that these days cliques are formed at much younger ages, says researcher Casey Borch, PhD, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, who coauthored a recent study on the subject. In fact, the research found more cliques in fifth grade than ...
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| Braces: A Love Story | |
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How to encourage your children to love themselves and embrace their individuality.
Can you think back to a time when you were a kid and you were taunted or harassed for something that made you a little different? Didn’t have pin straight hair like the other girls in the 4th grade? Admitted that you liked Milli Vanilli even though no one else did? Wore a full set of braces from age 13 to age 17? Kids have always been teased or bullied for a number of real and perceived differences, making it ...
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| Kids' Firsts | |
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Seven experts with a variety of viewpoints discuss when to expect your child?s first words, steps, computer use, romantic date and lots more. Their time lines and tips might surprise you.
They’re the milestones of your child’s life: when he first walks and talks, the first sentence he reads solo or the first time he stays home alone or goes on a date. They’re also defining moments in your life as a parent, and you may be especially focused on them for fear of missing something important while at work. But whether you’re at home or in the office, the same question rules: “What’s the best way to let my child ...
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| The Return Of The Latchkey Kids | |
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Dealing with the concerns of leaving your kids home alone.
While it sounds like the name of a band your kids might like (actually it is), a latchkey kid is one who has to let himself in after school because no one is home. The term originated in 1944 when NBC coined the phrase in a documentary on this trend. It was increasingly common during WWII when one parent was serving the armed forces and the other worked. Since then, not much has changed in this department and many families ...
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| What You Need To Know About Your Kids Posting Photos Online | |
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The concerns of your child sharing information online.
Have you tried talking to your teen about how the Web is permanent and how the things they post online could come back to haunt them in the future? Do you get the blank look or "yes, Mom" response that you know means your teen hasn't taken what you've said seriously? Well listen up, kids, there really can be serious and life-altering consequences to what you post online.
Criminal prosecutors have recently begun searching for evidence on social networking ...
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| Is Your Child's High School Anything Like "Gossip Girl"? | |
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Mom's fears addressed in a great new book.
You’re freaked out…your daughter is about to enter 9th grade and if it’s anything like your own experience, it’s going to be a nightmare. But you want to stay calm; you want to assure her everything’s going to be just fine, yet inside you are totally freaking out. The jocks, the cheerleaders, the debate team, and the quiet ones—they’re all still there just like they were for you. But are today’s kids dealing with the same issues in a Web ...
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| Tote-ally Back-To-School | |
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The best backpacks for your little scholar.
Forget the same-ole-same-old! Cute and innovative totes for kids are making a comeback! This fall’s trends are brightly designed, eco-friendly, and animal crazy. Send your kid packing with these top picks for your child’s back-to-school bonanza.
It’s “Shark Week” meets pop art in this ultra-cool Shark Bait ($35) tote. The black material allows kids to get a little dirty without all the evidence. Straps are padded for comfort, with two side pockets for additional storage. We’re hooked!
We ...
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| Are You A "Helicopter Parent"? | |
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While parental involvement is key to a child's success in school, at what point does a participating parent become a smother mother?
It’s easy to get overly involved in our children’s lives—we want the best for them, so we try to be in-the-know of everything they do to help them make the right decisions. But being a “helicopter parent” (hovering too closely overhead) isn’t really helping. Ken Haller, MD, associate professor of pediatrics at Saint Louis University School of Medicine, says that being an advocate for your child is a noble thing, but at a certain point, parents need to step back ...
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| 2008 Best of Congress | |
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They've got our vote! 24 passionate legislators who champion families.
We rely on our congressional leaders to create laws like the groundbreaking Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP), and increases to federal minimum wage to help make working moms’ lives more manageable. But even family-focused lawmakers don’t always practice in their own offices what they preach publicly. Since it’s up to individual congressional leaders to decide on their own office policies regarding pay, paid leave time and flextime, each office operates much like ...
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| Catch It Early | |
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Obesity may become a concern as early as age 5. Here's how to spot the warning signs and gently guide your overweight child to a healthy lifestyle.
Diane Kramer-Pavelich of Littleton, CO, saw it coming. When her daughter Sophie was 5 years old, Diane noticed she was bigger than her older sister had been at the same age. Nothing extreme—even her pediatrician said that Sophie was in the normal range—but it was something to monitor. Diane herself had been an overweight child and didn’t want the same fate for her daughter. “While I was at work, their nanny would take the girls out to eat, so Sophie ...
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| Playtime Time-Out | |
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Has your little walker lost interest in playtime?
A week ago you couldn’t tear your baby away from her rainbow-colored stacking cups and great big bucket of blocks. Seems she was in full play mode. But suddenly you’ve come home from work to find a child who has lost interest in her favorite toys. Her mind is wandering—and so are her legs. When she does refocus on her playthings, it lasts for mere moments, and she’s up and distracted once again. Is your baby in a state of ...
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| Best Of Congress: Family-Friendly Acts Explained | |
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Your government at work--for working moms and families!
As working moms, we need a government that listens to our needs, so it’s great to know when our voices have been heard. These Acts focus on the issues crucial to moms. Some have been signed into laws and some are in progress, but all are important. And here’s to passing even more family-friendly legislation.
CHIP (Children’s Health Insurance Program Reauthorization Act)
The greatest expansion of insurance coverage for kids since the advent of Medicaid.
Committed to ...
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| The Nature of Reading | |
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Is the urge to read inborn?
You’ve long heard the party line: If you fill a young child’s bookcase with a mix of good books and read to him daily, you’ll raise a reader. So you stock up on pop-ups, fables, classics and award winners and diligently perform the voices in Horton Hears a Who! and Where the Wild Things Are at your preschooler’s bedtime. But surprise—your little guy isn’t always captivated by your selections, and you’ve yet to see him pick up books and flip ...
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| A Place in the World | |
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Making geography fun for everyone
Ask your grade schooler to find Iraq—or even New York City—on a map. Not even close? Well, older students don’t know much about geography, either.
A recent National Geographic–Roper survey finds that only 37 percent of 18- to 24-year-old Americans can identify Iraq on a map; half can’t even locate the Big Apple, and 20 percent are unable to pick out the Pacific Ocean. While elementary school students today are getting heavy doses of reading, writing and arithmetic, geography ...
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| Is Your Teen Ready to Drive? | |
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Coping strategies for when your kid wants to hit the road
When you think of the milestones in a child’s life, first steps and first words come to mind. But when adolescence hits, another whopper is her first turn behind the wheel. Just consider the way a teen’s daily life is affected by driving: the amount of attention, skill and care it requires; the huge increase in independence it brings; the safety concerns—all this and more, usually at age 15 or 16. But is your teen ready—physically and emotionally—to hit the ...
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| Conquering Distractions | |
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Ways to raise focused kids in an attention-deficient world.
Eating on the run, IM and TV, plus homework. Kids today are growing up in a land of distraction—a noisy, info-cluttered, hyper-mediated world where juggling is the norm. And everywhere kids see adults paying half-focus to the world. How can parents raise focused kids in this attention-deficient world?
Speak A Language Of Attention
Attention isn’t just one thing. It’s a set of three skills: focus, awareness, and executive attention, i.e. planning and decision-making. And it’s teachable, scientists are discovering. ...
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| Losing A Loved One | |
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How to help your kids cope when there's a death in the family.
Once your child is old enough to speak, she’s asking lots of questions. But how do we answer difficult questions about the death of a loved one when we are grieving ourselves? There’s no easy answer. There are ways, though, to not only teach your child about loss, but help you both get through this hard time.
Your family may have been through the death of a goldfish or dog, and our piece, When A Pet Dies , deals ...
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| Father's Day Gift Guide | |
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Show pops he's tops this June 15th with these must-have gifts your kids will love, too!
He’s got a wallet, doesn’t need another tie, and that boat he wants…well, it’s just a bit too expensive. Here are some great gifts just for dad with love from the kids.
This Little Piggy…
Shed some light on your love of pops with this Piggy LED Flashlight ($8). No batteries required—this squealer has a hand crank to recharge. Perfect for dad’s car, the garage, or even when he has to check under the bed for Junior’s favorite toy. ...
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| We Are Family | |
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Working moms know the importance of helping their kids embrace differences. Here, we learn some surprising truths.
A Colorful Life
Jenny Taylor, 39, co-owner of CFL Art Services, Brooklyn,
NY; mom of Isaac, 9, and Malik, 5
According to Isaac and Malik Ford, each member of their family is a different color: “Malik calls himself golden, and his older brother is tan,” says their mom, Jenny. “Daddy is brown, and I’m pink.”
It’s only when they travel away from their home in Brooklyn, NY, that Jenny Taylor and her multicultural family feel at all conspicuous. ...
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| Got Stress Kid? | |
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Helping preschoolers handle pressure.
Stress. Now there’s a given for working moms. It’s cortisol—the hormone our body releases to help us deal—that lets us fight or flee from stressors. But too much cortisol can affect overall health. What really pulls us through is learning to cope and calm ourselves in tense times. On top of that, our children need help acquiring these coping skills, too.
Research shows that stress is a particular issue for kids in day care: Cortisol levels in toddlers and preschoolers ...
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| Granny Daycare | |
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Time to get serious about child care.
Your maternity leave is almost up—time to get serious about child care. So you review community care centers, in-home day cares and hiring an au pair or nanny. But you keep circling back to “family member.” In fact, 48 percent of children with working moms are primarily cared for by relatives, according to U.S. Department of Education data. No surprise, as this option may save you money, put your baby in known safe hands and let him bond with extended ...
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| Race Matters | |
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Help improve kids racial outlook.
Chances are, your grade schooler has friends who fast during Ramadan and celebrate Kwanzaa. As multiculturalism continues to grow in America, he’ll likely encounter many variations in race and culture in his classroom. Fortunately, more and more schools seek to educate students about race and racism, often through history lessons. And now, there’s evidence that these lessons actually help improve kids’ racial outlook.
New research from the University of Texas at Austin reveals that racial fairness mattered more to ...
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| Stop Stalling! | |
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Send Procrastination Packing
You give your kid a big spiel about getting a jump start on her science project, practicing her flute before school rather than before bed and not waiting until the weekend to read the book for a report due on Monday. But she saw how you crammed to file your tax return, barely meeting the midnight April 15 mailing deadline—which, let’s face it, dilutes your well-intentioned message.
Procrastination is an equal opportunity bad habit, affecting children and grown-ups alike. ...
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| Page Turners | |
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The best books for you and your kids.
There’s nothing quite like reading in the park on a sunny day. Teach your kids the joy of escaping in a book with these reads, and check out the page-turners just for you.
For The Kids
The First Adventures of Incredible You by Sarah Headrick and Sarah Rivera
This adorably illustrated book is customized with your child’s name, birthdate, and favorite things, and packaged up in quirky rhymes, which tells your child’s tale, making it a keepsake. Great ...
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| Don't Panic, Just Buy Organic | |
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The simplest way to get the most bang for your nutritional buck is to buy organic, read labels, and seek out locally grown whole foods as much as possible.
With so many choices in the grocery aisle, it can be daunting when you are confronted with making a decision about what foods to buy for your family. Our advice: Take it outside.
Tips For A Healthy Organic Kitchen
#1: Shop for whole foods.
Be fresh…where it matters. Shop for natural and organically grown meats, veggies, and fruit. Skip frozen and canned to avoid irradiated, GMOs (genetically modified organisms), chemical additives, colorings, or preservatives. The foods we choose ...
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| The Quiet Struggle | |
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From heartbreak to hope: moms of kids with special needs.
Moms who have children with special needs often neglect themselves during their consuming quest to help their kids. Here, they share ways they’ve discovered to take care of themselves, too.
Kristina Chew teaches with her cell phone on. More than once over the years it’s flashed in the middle of a lecture with the number of her son’s school, prompting her to pack her things and rush to her car to pick up Charlie, now 10, who was diagnosed ...
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| Bright Baby Talk | |
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Coaxing first words out of your baby
You know that talking and singing as much as you can to your baby helps her develop language skills so that one day, usually around that first birthday, you’ll delight in hearing her first words. How can you do her the most good?
Babies start to understand the meaning of words as early as age 6 months, says George Hollich, PhD, an assistant professor of psychological sciences at Purdue University in West Lafayette, IN. When they begin talking at ...
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| When a Pet Dies | |
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Grief coping techniques
The instant you brought that tiny fur ball home from the shelter, your dog became a fixture in your son’s life—his best friend while you’ve been at the office. But illness caused her to be put to sleep. You’ve tried to explain why his pal is no longer there, but your child is sad and confused—and your heart is aching, too.
The death of a pet is often a child’s first experience with the loss of a loved one, ...
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| Keeping Track | |
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Using technology to keep your kid safe
It took a bit of wrangling, but you’ve made arrangements for your grade schooler to be in responsible hands while you’re at work: afterschool care on Mondays; grandparents on Tuesdays and Wednesdays; a caregiver during late-night Thursday meetings; at soccer on Fridays. You shouldn’t have to worry about his well-being. But like most parents, you worry anyway.
To ease this concern, a growing number of parents are using technology, specifically global positioning systems (GPS), to monitor their child’s whereabouts. ...
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| Feng Shui 101 | |
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How to apply the ancient art of harmony to your child's bedroom.
Getting enough sleep — an elusive goal for most moms — can be equally challenging for kids, whose developing brains require plenty of shuteye to keep them healthy, happy and able to pay attention in school. In a highly-stimulating world, parents need all the help they can get to ensure their kids wake up refreshed and ready to tackle whatever the day brings. Certain tried and true techniques, such as bedtime stories, can help, but savvy moms are discovering that ...
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| Clean Genie | |
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You may need more than just a wrinkle of your nose to make clean up time an exciting family activity, but follow these steps and it can be just like magic.
When kids think of activity time, they think of bike riding through the park or a game of catch with the neighbors, but a clever mom can finesse the notion that tidying up the house is a good time–instead of a chore. Here’s how.
• Banish the word chore. Even if you are one of those rare mothers who consider cleanup time therapeutic, for your kids, it’s like torture. So when it’s time for clean up, boast “Let’s play ...
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| Dealing With Divorce | |
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Divorce Coach Christina McGhee shares coping strategies to help you and your kids get through the split.
“Divorce,” according to author Margaret Atwood, “is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.” And anyone who has been through it can understand. No matter how civilized the parting, the end of a long-term relationship has far-reaching emotional repercussions for you and your family.
No one is immune. Even preternaturally perky actress Reese Witherspoon recalled about her own divorce, “Right around Christmastime I was sitting in a parking lot. And I felt like I just ...
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| Out Of The Mouths Of Babies | |
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Kids say the darndest things...they really, really do. As moms, we can be in awe one minute and in stitches the next.
Sometimes their quotes are deep—more profound than they can really understand at their age—and other times, we see the depth of their thought and the process of their learning.
“I'm Irish, my husband is American and we've always told our four-year-old daughter that she is half Irish. All the talk of St. Patrick’s Day lately gets her thinking...and she asked me the other night, ‘Mom, I was just wondering...which half of me is Irish?’” –from Nicola
“My seven ...
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| Sensory Delights | |
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Stimulate your baby's senses
Your baby has entered the world with a skills set perfect for bonding with you and her surroundings thanks to her senses: taste, smell, touch, sight and hearing. While you may feel you have to cram in as much sensory learning as possible before you return to work, you don't have to help her develop her senses. Nature has taken care of that, says Kathryn Hirsh-Pasek, PhD, a professor of psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia. Babies' senses are ...
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| "Can I Help?" | |
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Handling your eager-to-help tyke
"Mommy, I want to sweep," your preschooler insists. You may be tempted to begin a tug-of-war over the broom (because it's so much easier to do it yourself), but wait: You might be brushing past a teachable moment that can start your child on the long and winding road to helping out around the house. Could it be as easy as letting her try simple tasks when she asks? And can chores and playtime even commingle? The importance of ...
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| Bedwetting Blues
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Coping with your child's overnight accidents
Beyond a certain age, bedwetting goes from an extra-load-of-laundry inconvenience to an embarrassment that creates tension between you and your grade schooler. You just don't know what to do or how to talk about it with him. But before you let your frustration—and guilt—get the better of you, consider this: An estimated five to seven million kids in the United States wet the bed. About 20 percent of 5-year-olds and 12 percent of 6-year-olds have the problem, says the American ...
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| Raise a Green Tween | |
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Instilling eco-consciousness
You kicked your Styrofoam habit and now drink coffee from a mug at work, turn off your PC every night and use both sides of paper before recycling. You try to keep this eco-instinct alive at home, too. But your middle schooler—who's so involved with homework, trumpet practice, math tutoring and his social life—is losing his inclination to save the earth. So how do you rekindle his eco-spark? Continue to lead by example and make time for conservation conversation, ...
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| It's the Witching Hour | |
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The transition time from work and school to home can bring out the witch in you and the demon in your kids. Here, one frazzled, guilty mom learns to work some magic.
Driving to collect my son, Sawyer, 13, from afterschool sports, with my 9-year-old daughter, Kate, in the backseat bopping to the radio, I had high hopes for a happy evening. There's nothing like leaving the stresses of the workday behind and reconnecting with two of the people I love most in the world. I dreamed of a calm, loving homecoming, a welcome retreat from the chaos of the outside world. With Sawyer in the car, we headed home as ...
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| Smooth Baby Steps | |
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First steps for new walkers
Little compares to the heartwarming rush you get when your baby takes her first steps. While you may be at the office when you get the news about her initial unassisted stroll, remember: You helped her reach this lofty goal, and you'll be there to watch many meaningful steps thereafter. Your baby will typically begin walking between 11 and 17 months, says pediatrician Tanya Remer Altmann, MD, editor-in-chief of The Wonder Years , a guide to early developmental milestones. "Babies ...
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| When Mommy Hits the Road | |
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Helping your little one to cope while you are away
Your boss just called: "The clients want a face-to-face, so we're leaving for Seattle on Wednesday." It's the first time you'll be away from your child for more than a night, so get ready for some tears from him—and you. How to explain that Mommy's going to be gone for a bit? There are two big ideas preschoolers must begin to grasp: the movement of time and the abstract concept that Mommy will come home again, says Martha Farrell Erickson, ...
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| American Idols | |
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Steering your kids towards healthy role models
Your son worships Barry Bonds, but you're wary of the steroid scandal that taints the home-run king's record. And your daughter still can't get enough of Britney, even though the pop idol is now most famous for child-custody battles. We're in an era of bad-boy and -girl celebrities, hip-hop thugs and scandalous heiresses that kids often adore. The mere thought of our children shaping their lives to emulate these questionable icons—even a little—can make us want to pull the plug ...
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| When Girls Gab | |
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When your tween dwells on her problems
You were a tween once, so you know the drill: Your sweet little girl, who used to tell you just about everything, is now as secretive as a CIA agent where you're concerned. Instead, she spends hours IM-ing her best friends about school, boys, clothes and why her parents are, like, so lame. Harmless, right? Maybe not. It appears that when girls talk and talk about their issues, they do forge friendships. But "co-rumination," or excessive talking about personal problems, ...
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| Snap Happy | |
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Capturing and keeping digital memories
The memory-making started the instant you met your mate. Since then, you've been responsible for the trail of snapshots that's chronicled your family's life. Whether you're a scrapbook junkie or a photos-in-a-shoebox kind of girl, being the curator of your family memories is much easier now, thanks to the digital age. But if you feel like you're just not fully up to tech speed, read on. Our tips from professional photographers will help you see the big picture. Stage ...
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| Talking to Toddlers | |
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Start communicating early and often
Q. What's the secret to talking with teenagers? A. Start talking to them when they're toddlers. A television commercial opens with a little girl watching a Sponge Bob cartoon. Her mom motions to her that it's time to go, and the little girl gets up and runs into their Dodge mini-van. As the mom starts the car the same cartoon appears on the screen headrest, as Dodge's caption paints in on the screen, 'Don't miss the moment.' ...
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| Your Little Rebel | |
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The scoop on dealing with willful toddlers
You expect your child to decorate herself with markers after you've told her not to for the umpteenth time and to shriek "Nooooo!" when faced with the dreaded bath—as an older 2- or 3-year-old. But she's only 16 months and pushing back at every turn. So you conclude that you've got a little tyrant on your hands and that in some way it's your fault (more working-mother guilt). Now, take a deep breath. That early defiance may actually be a ...
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| Make-Believe Magic | |
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Dig out your treasure trunk for these imaginative indoor games.
Quick-Draw Costumes Here's a delightful dress-up game to make your holidays even more joyful. Fill a box with old clothes and costumes, hats, shoes, scarves and faux jewelry. When the kids are ready to play, dump the contents out of the box in the middle of a room and gather around the pile. Crank the dial on an egg timer to three minutes and yell, "Ready, set, dress!" Everyone must pull on clothes and accessories as fast as possible. ...
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| So Proud to Be Me | |
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Instilling ethnic pride in your kids
We live in a diverse society—but our society still struggles to embrace all its differences. You may understand this because you've faced challenges in your multicultural workplace. And your grade schooler may face similar challenges when peers make comments like "Your name is weird" or ask, "How come you don't have a Christmas tree?" Kids may not mean to be hurtful, but the things they say can feel bad to a child who is acutely aware of her dark ...
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| Teen DUI | |
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Thousands of teenagers are killed in drunk-driving accidents every year. Here's what you need to know to keep your teen out of harm's way this holiday and all year round.
One night during a school break, 15-year-old Alisa Withers and a couple of friends went for a drive with two 17-year-old guys they knew. At one point they pulled the car over and the guys quickly put away two six-packs—the girls didn't drink. Back on the road, the driver thought it would be fun to see what it was like to go 100 mph. He lost control of the car, sending it 85 feet into the air before it ...
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| Bedtime Story Magic | |
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Reading to your kids can yield big benefits for your little one.
It's been a long, busy day, and you look forward to nothing more than curling up with your child and one of her favorite before-bed tales. Chances are your preschooler can't wait for the story, either. Bedtime storytelling holds particular significance for your child, both developmentally and cognitively. For one thing, it's an intimate bonding activity—"a time for meaningful communication that encour-ages your child's social and emotional development through interaction with you," says John Pikulski, PhD, senior author of Houghton ...
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| Parental Controls | |
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A guide to setting up parental controls for video games
As every mom knows, raising kids today has never been more challenging, particularly when it comes to the media our tech-savvy children consume. But computer and video games are actually among the easiest of entertainment products for parents to control. In addition to using existing ESRB ratings to choose appropriate games, parents can take advantage of parental controls set up by major game manufactuers to make sure that their children are playing games they deem appropriate.
This guide provides ...
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| Food for Thought | |
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Get the most out of your family meals
It's 6:00 p.m. You and your husband just got home from work, your daughter is coming in from soccer practice, and your son leaves for orchestra rehearsal in a few minutes. It's hard enough to get food on the table, much less gather everyone around it. Trying to accommodate multiple schedules might have you thinking you're better off feeding your family in shifts. But the benefits of sharing dinner together far outweigh the convenience of separate mealtimes, according to ...
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| Cries in the Night | |
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Coping with the nighttime terrors
Maybe you were lucky when your child was an infant. Unlike your friends' babies, she slept so soundly through the night, with nary a whine or a whimper, that you were convinced you'd given birth to a little angel. Then, just when you started thinking you'd won the lottery, your heavenly baby changed her ways—and started wailing in the middle of the night. What happened? She grew up, says pediatrician Ronald E. Becker, MD, an expert in child development at ...
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| Toilet-Training Time | |
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Is your child ready for the potty?
Learning to use the potty can stir up a mass of conflicting feelings in little kids. Being able to go to the bathroom by themselves offers their first real glimpse of independence, yet even the most eager child may be frightened of the process or feel unsure about "taking care of business" in this whole new way. What helps them get through it? A little praise—and a great deal of patience and support from the adults around them. Some of ...
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| Is Your Daughter Anorexic? | |
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The earlier you can spot an eating disorder, the better chance you have of raising a healthy, unaffected child.
When Ivy Silver got a call from her friend Jane telling her
something wasn't right with Ivy's 16-year-old daughter, Rachel, the
Wyncote, PA, mom was frightened. "One of Rachel's friends had
approached Jane, an eating disorder specialist," says Ivy, 52, who owns
an insurance brokerage and employee benefits consulting firm with her
husband, Steven Leshner. "Her friends had noticed Rachel's eating
habits were different. She wasn't eating any meals with them and was
fixated on losing weight, talking about how little she was eating and
how she ...
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| Freedom of Speech | |
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Dealing with your child's public speaking jitters
It's middle school, and your tween is nervous about giving an oral
presentation in front of the class. You relate: As a mom in the
workplace, you've had your own white-knuckled public-speaking worries.
Talking in front of a group can unnerve kids and adults and be
particularly daunting for timid children, says Lynn Donahue, EdD, a
professor of communications at St. John Fisher College in Rochester, NY.
Still, speechmaking skills can be a big plus in your child's future and
a confidence booster right ...
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| Don't Go, Mommy! | |
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Deaking with your toddler's separation anxiety.
Few things are more guilt-inducing than your preschooler clinging to
your leg screaming, "Mommy, don't go to work!" Just last week she was
all smiles when you trotted off to the office, but these newly woeful
goodbyes are suddenly persistent—and painful. Take heart: They actually
represent the chance for your child to grow and learn and for you to
remind yourself why it's important for you to work.
Separation anxiety is normal at this stage in a child's development,
and it can come on ...
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| The Discipline Solution | |
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The key to having well-behaved kids? It isn't figuring out the right punishment when they misbehave. It's about teaching them limits and consequences.
Those blue and red permanent markers, hidden in the kitchen drawer, are
too tempting. Your child remembers seeing you stash them there, and one
afternoon, she gets her hands on them. She has a field day expressing
her inner Jackson Pollock by creating big permanent drawings all over
your living room walls. She's having too much fun to stop—until you
walk into the room and catch her in the act.
How to handle a child who misbehaves occasionally, or one who disobeys
your wishes ...
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| Put to the Test | |
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Test-taking pointers for your 6-10 year old.
Used to be that the pencil-biting, butterflies-in-the-stomach torment
of taking standardized tests was reserved for older children. But in
some public schools, test-taking is now starting as early as the second
grade. Whether or not you're in favor of the amount or even the use of
standardized tests today, you may be pretty confused about your role in
your children's test-taking. Should you be involved in helping your
kids prepare in a hands-on way? If so, what and how much preparation
are you supposed to do? ...
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| Halloween Trick or Tears | |
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Soothing babies on the spookiest night of the year.
As Halloween stretches its creepy claws toward us again this year, a terrifying array of sights and sounds is just waiting to scare the daylights out of your baby. Ghosts wail from drugstore aisles, goblins howl from front lawns, and strangers lurk about in spooky costumes. For some kids, the whole thing can be extremely distressing. What's a mom to do?
"What's fun for older children can be very frightening to infants and toddlers," says behavioral psychologist Stephen Garber, ...
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| Overscheduled? Not! | |
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Think your child may be stressed from all those activities you have scheduled? Think again!
As you get ready to send your child back to school, a big concern is how she'll spend her out-of-school time. Chances are you're carving out a schedule for her that keeps her busy and cared for while you're at work. Yet some of us worry that our kids may be overscheduled—and overstressed—what with school-play rehearsals, piano lessons, volleyball practice and all that math homework. This concern has been exacerbated in recent years due to the spate ...
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| Techno Tot | |
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A combination of free play and technology can be a fun and educational way to entertain preschoolers as long as long as limits are in place.
You probably spend plenty of time pecking away at your laptop or BlackBerry, even as your preschooler plays CD-ROM games or pushes buttons on an electronic talking toy. Technology is a fact of twenty-first-century parenting. While you know your child will need high-tech know-how to flourish in both academic and professional life, you worry about the lack of good old-fashioned play. Plus, how much tech is too much at this age?
Research affirms that ...
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| Too Specialized | |
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Should we focus on what our kids are good at or what they're interested in? For a well-rounded child, both make the grade.
When he was young, your child was a wiz at math and science. But he also liked history and music, though he didn't ace them. Now, in high school, his main interest and best grades are in science and math, with other subjects falling by the wayside. You may wonder: Could this narrow academic focus hinder his college and career goals?
This alignment of interest and skill is pretty common, according to a study of almost ...
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| Catch It Early | |
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The key to supporting a child with a developmental challenge? Spotting the signs sooner, when intervention may be the most effective, rather than later.
When Julie Hibbert's twins were about 14 months old, the senior HR analyst from Huntington, NY, noticed that her son's fine motor skills were much less developed than his sister's and that he was prone to chronic repetitive behaviors like spinning a toy or stroller wheel around and around rather than actually playing. "If he didn't have a twin to compare him to, I might not have noticed or done anything so early," says Julie. She ...
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| Playtime | |
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No time to play with your kids, nor even an inkling of how to do it? Have we got a game plan for you. Here, simple yet sensational ways to frolic with your family.
Years from now when your kids recall their fondest childhood memories, chances are they'll talk about the great times the family spent together—you chasing them through the park, rowdy games of tag, charades in the family room while the rain pummeled the windows. Play is the essence of childhood. "It's how children learn everything the best, from reading to counting," explains Lawrence Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting . But let's face it: We often feel too busy to ...
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| Quiet Time | |
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From the minute I wake up, I'm immersed in noise. So for my 41st birthday, I gave myself an extravagant gift-silence.
I've clocked it. As a high school English teacher, I speak with more than 130 people on an average day, most of them adolescent students, which, given their fibrillating hormonal/emotional state, should count extra. As soon as I walk into the building, I'm bombarded by the cacophony of hundreds of kids chatting and laughing loudly in the hallway, not to mention their constant knocking on my door with questions about why they didn't get an A on a paper and ...
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| Ready for a Big Bed? | |
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Has your little one outgrown his crib?
What working mom doesn't ache at the thought of missing her little one's "firsts"? Well, here's one you can help orchestrate: your baby's move to a big-kid bed. Just be sure both of you are ready to say so long to the crib. Children often make the bed switch between 18 months and 3 years, says Jodi Mindell, PhD, associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. What often signals the timing: Your baby is ...
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| Your Bilingual Babe | |
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How an early start with a second language can benefit your child.
Chances are you've seen how speaking another language can open doors in the business world. But did you know the best time for your English-speaking child to start parler fran ...
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| Moving On | |
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Helping your kid transition into a new location.
You finally got that new job, but (yikes!) it means moving to a different city. On top of everything else the transition will involve, there's your child to consider. Just when he's settled into school and friendships, you have to uproot him—and he's none too pleased about the news. Kids who relocate with their families will have all kinds of feelings about the upheaval. Part of your job is to make it a kinder, gentler experience for yours. Above all, ...
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| The New Dad | |
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A new breed of men is changing diapers and exploding stereotypes--and just-released research shows that these stay-at-home dads may even be happier than working dads (and stay-at-home moms!).
When Christine Saunders was dating Mark Haskett, a photographer, he told her that someday he'd love to stay home to raise their kids. Christine, a lawyer, thought that was just great. She knew she didn't want to stay home full-time or hire a full-time caregiver. Nine years later, Christine Haskett, 37, is a successful partner at the San Francisco law firm Heller Ehrman, while Mark, also 37, relishes his time at home with their 5-year-old son, Mills, and infant ...
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| Your Vegetarian Kid | |
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Feeding a grade-schooler who doesn't eat meat
"Mom, I'm not eating meat anymore." It's entirely possible that your grade schooler has already made this declaration of dining independence—or may in the near future. While the data is scarce, recent polls suggest that 6 to 10 percent of children age 6 and older don't eat meat or are self-declared vegetarians. And some experts think this is a trend. "In my twenty years working with schools, I've seen an escalation in kids making vegetarian meal choices," says Connie ...
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| "Mommy, What's Sex?" | |
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What to do when your curious toddler starts asking the big question
The barrage of media attention surrounding the HPV vaccine for young girls has sparked parental concerns. Among them: What do kids understand about sex at what age—and when and how do you talk to them about it? Be prepared. Your preschooler may soon hit you with "Where did I come from?" and "What are you and Daddy doing?"—if she hasn't already. Parents often think 3- and 4-year-olds are too young to talk about sexuality, but this may be more ...
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| Who Loves Ya, Mom? | |
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Cultivating a close and loving bond with your baby
It's the moment every new mother waits for. Your baby looks up at you and smiles—not one of those "maybe it's just gas" smiles but a genuinely joyful smile, as if to say, "Mommy, I love you." A baby can recognize his mother's voice at birth and make out the outline of her facial features at around 2 months. Then, between 3 and 7 months, an infant begins to form solid attachments and show preference for some people over others, ...
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| International Adoption | |
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Intrigued by the idea of adopting from another country but overwhelmed by all the options? We answer your top questions and prepare you for what to expect as you embark on this remarkable journey.
We've all seen pictures of Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and their trio of children—two of whom were adopted overseas. Madonna, Meg Ryan and Frances McDormand are among others who have brought international adoption into the spotlight. Beyond these highly publicized multicultural families, you likely know someone who is parenting a child from another country. Beginning in the early 1990s, when China opened up as a place for adoptable babies and children, the number of international adoptions in the ...
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| Critter Camps | |
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Summer camps for your kids to learn about pets and animal responsibility
Snaffles was a good dog, but after four long months at a shelter he was still waiting to be adopted. He just didn't have the spunk and personality that adopters were looking for, that is until he went to Camp Pedee where kids became his teachers and best friends. Not only did his bad luck turned around, but kids got to love and learn all about animals—and themselves. Camp Pedee in Los Angeles, CA is a kind of summer ...
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| What a Gift! | |
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Helping your bright child flourish
At preschool pickup, you've noticed your child uses a lot more words and complete sentences than her peers. On the way home, she runs your mind ragged with questions and wants to know how to do everything. And oh, that wild imagination! Precocious, yes, but is it more? If you suspect your child is gifted but think it's better not to make too much of it, you might want to rethink your stance. When you find out a bright child ...
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| Time For a Pet? | |
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What to think about before introducing a furry friend to your family
How many times has your kid begged you for a pet, and how often have you said, "We'll see"? If you have a grade schooler with a burning desire for a furry friend, now's the time to assess whether having a dog, a cat or even a bowl of fish is right for your child—and your family. First, take a look at the benefits of an animal pal. "A pet can be wonderful for a child, offering unconditional love, ...
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| The Moody Blues | |
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Coping with a down-in-the-dumps tween
Suddenly, it seems, your happy-go-lucky kid is a different animal: moody, sullen and argumentative or uncommunicative. Are the holidays to blame? Is it winter blues? At this age, probably not. Boy or girl, your tween's cognitive development and pubescent hormones are colliding, causing a confusing behavioral traffic jam. Her mental and physical identities are cruising into uncharted territory, and at the same time the boundaries of her world are expanding, yet still very limiting. No wonder she's grumpy. Should ...
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| Walk America | |
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Family members from far-flung corners of the country walk in unity to help save infant lives together.
When families band together, life feels better. Whether it's in celebration or in times of crisis, we gain strength and determination when surrounded by our home team. In recent years, more families are taking this notion of team empowerment on the road as they partici-pate in the March of Dimes Walk America events around the country. Family teams are one of the fastest-growing segments of the nationwide program, which has raised $1.7 billion to fight premature birth and save ...
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| Learning Curve 3 to 5 Years | |
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"Mommy, Will You Marry Me?"
Chances are your preschooler made you an adorable Valentine at school or day care and proudly thrust it into your hand as he planted a big kiss on your cheek. So don't be surprised if someday soon he grabs you and intently asks, "Mommy, will you marry me?"—if he hasn't already. He might even scold your husband, "Don't kiss Mommy. She's my wife!" No need for guilt, Mom. His sudden possessiveness is not because you work and he's desperate ...
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| Smart Teacher Talks | |
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It's time for a scheduled parent-teacher conference. Are you ready?
So many working parents show up rushed, stressed and unprepared for face time with the teacher-not to mention that scheduled meetings are often a scant ten minutes. Research shows that a triad of learning-the student at the top and the parent and teacher making up the base of support-influences student performance and achievement, says Ronald Dietel, EdD, an assistant director of UCLA's National Center for Research on Evaluation, Standards, and Student Testing and author of Get Smart! Nine Sure Ways ...
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| Play with Your Teen! | |
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Make Extra Time for Your Teens & Tweens
When's the last time you told your teen to go out and play? And when's the last time you played with him? When we think of teenagers, playtime isn't one of the first things that comes to mind. But new research shows that it probably should be. A full two thirds of young people may feel "play-deprived," according to a recent study of 1,000 people ages 14 to 24 conducted by Synovate, a North American market research firm. What's ...
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| Sneaking in Time | |
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To forge a fabulous relationship with your child, try mixing a little creativity with small windows of opportunity.
Each weekday morning, Lauren Puglia plays "pet shop" with her lively 5-year-old twins. They giggle under the covers as she "buys" the two of them from the shop, then she firmly tells them that in her house even unicorns and spotted tigers wear clothes and brush their teeth. This little ritual only takes a moment, but it's a special shared time. "The kids have a blast," says Lauren, a Boston-based lawyer. And at the same time, they're happily getting ...
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| Grandparent Power | |
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Nurture grandparent love
What working mom doesn't know how valuable grandparents are when it comes to the care of her baby! But there's a bonus in the grandparent/tot relationship that's worth promoting—especially during the holidays, when your child may get to spend extra time with extended family. Whether they're close to home or across the country, your parents can give your baby or toddler a wonderful gift: unconditional love without the parameters of everyday interaction, says social psychologist Susan Newman, PhD, author ...
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| A World of Difference | |
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Teach your kids about diversity
Don't be surprised if your 4-year-old comes home from preschool and asks, "Why is Bennett's skin dark and mine's light?" Between ages 3 and 5, children begin to sort and classify, and by age 5, they are able to attach social meaning to those classifications. What's more, studies show that preschoolers stereotype based on experiences—what they see, hear and learn—says Caryl M. Stern-LaRosa, director of education for the Anti-Defamation League and its A World of Difference Institute, which works to ...
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| Teen Drinking | |
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New research suggests that drinking could disrupt teens' brain development--one more reason they shouldn't start. Here are strategies to keep your kids away from alcohol.
Your kid is that age—he's either curious about consuming alcohol or perhaps already does. Until now, many experts have advised teaching your teen to use alcohol wisely, only occasionally and only in your presence, since there are pretty good odds he'll do it on the sly otherwise. But now, new research has led to a sea change in this thinking: Teenagers should not drink, because one drink often leads to more, and because the damage alcohol does to the adolescent ...
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| If She Cries and Cries | |
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Soothing a crying baby
Babies cry. But if it seems
that's all your infant does, yet you just can't calm her down,
you may feel distressed, exhausted, even demoralized. How are you
supposed to feel okay about going back to work once maternity
leave is over?
"Any mom whose baby constantly cries feels vulnerable," says
Linda Gilkerson, PhD, director of the Fussy Baby Network
(www.fussybabynetwork.org, 888-431-BABY) and a professor at
Erikson Institute, a graduate school of child development in
Chicago. But don't feel it's your fault. "Babies can cry and ...
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| Swaddling | |
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Got a fussy baby?
Veteran infant teachers recommend swaddling as the one of the most
effective strategies for calming an awake and fussy baby, according to
Cindy Jurie, a codirector of the Partners in Care program at
Erikson Institute, a graduate school of child development in
Chicago. While there is no magic cure for fussiness and no
strategy works all the time, says Jurie, this one's worth trying.
Here's how to swaddle:
Spread a baby blanket on the floor or a bed with one corner
pointing ...
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| Too Tiny to Discipline? | |
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Correcting bad behavior in your toddler
You're back to work and settled into a routine with your baby—feeding, sleeping, quality time, child care, schedules and all. But soon your innocent babe is all personality and pluck, crawling and getting into things, grabbing at the window shades and banging every object in sight. Is it time for some discipline? And just how do you discipline a baby or toddler? The key is to see discipline as guiding and teaching rather than punishing or penalizing. You can do ...
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| Sleep Tight | |
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Bedtime Solutions for All of You
Joni Kirk is tired. Her 5-year-old sleeps like a dream—finally!—but now
her 3-year-old twins are getting up to use the potty. "Between the two
of them, they may wake up three times a night, and they always come to
my side of the bed," says the 29-year-old communications specialist for
the University of Idaho in Moscow. "By morning I'm just exhausted, so
it's harder to communicate, think on my feet, deal with the stress of
my job—or enjoy my kids later on."
Here's the ...
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| Raising a Really Nice Kid | |
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Building compassion at an early age
Since your grade schooler was a baby, you've showed him what it
means to be kind and caring—values that matter so much to you. But now
that he's increasingly exposed to our world's social and media
influences, the challenge of maintaining these values heightens. The
violence in video games and TV shows, the "mean" kids at school ...
just how do you keep your kid on the road to goodness? The answer lies in one of life's universal principles: "Focus on what
you can control, ...
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