In an online sex survey, we asked you to share what goes on in your bedroom—and wow, were we surprised!
A month or so ago, at my friend Mary’s wedding, my inner circle of college gal pals came together from across the country to do what we’ve come to do best: sit on hotel beds and talk. It had been a decade since our pioneering member had tied the knot. Back then, all in our twenties, we dished about sex— and not just because a friend of the groom had accepted a dare to streak through our room. We compared techniques, triumphs, disasters, multiples, handcuffs. We shared what we did, where, when, with whom, how often, for how long, how many times; we tallied how many of us had actually slept with Water Polo Guy, and then we scored his performance as if he were an Olympic contender (8.2).
We talked about sex this time, too. But with five husbands, five demanding careers and nine children among us, the “triumphs” included feeling unhurried enough to have sex lying down. “Multiples,” this time, referred to the potential risks of fertility drugs; “handcuffs” played a role in fleeting fantasies involving the restraint of active toddlers. We were exhausted, overloaded and voracious no more. “If we somehow, suddenly, have twenty minutes free,” said Penny, mother of three, “I’m like, ‘Hey, honey! We could unload the dishwasher!’”
But the thing is, we talked about it. Even with everything else in our Black-Berrys, sex is still on our radar. We may not be the hot have-it-all celebrity moms with airbrushed faces and impossible figures (and 25 unseen assistants), but neither are we their opposite media stereotype: the frazzled, frumptastic stress case with a fine coating of Cheerios dust and a permanent “not tonight” headache. Okay, so we wish we had more (sex, not to mention assistants) and that it took less “work” to make it happen. But still. While we may not have it every day, in our own way, we’ve still got it.
That’s the refreshing message Working Mother got from our recent reader survey. So much for that sexless stereotype: Turns out sex really matters to working moms—nearly three quarters of you ranked it as important.
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