Motherhood, for busy holistic health professional London, helped develop many skills crucial for her work. Chief among them is a deep compassion for others. The natural positive energy she possesses is perfect for her role as doula, a career that until recently hasn’t been well known. “I’ve been a personal trainer for the last 13 years,” London shares. “About four years ago, one of my clients wanted to get in the best shape of her life before she became pregnant. I trained her for almost a year before, wham! She was preggers! We had really bonded by that time and she asked me to be her doula. I said, ‘OK, what’s a doula?’ She explained. And that’s what I was to become,” she says.
According to Doulas of North America, “A doula who accompanies a woman in labor mothers the mother, taking care of her emotional needs throughout childbirth. A doula also provides support and suggestions for partners that can enhance their experiences of birth.” And many more pregnant women are opting to build their support system with one.
Of her practice for becoming a doula, London says, “You could kind of say it was like a birth with a really long pregnancy. I feel like all my experiences over the last 20-some years have lead me to this profession. I can’t even really think of it as a job, but more like a calling. I discovered work that inspires, satisfies, challenges, and utilizes all my talents and expertise. I feel really blessed, plus I get to go to work and witness a miracle. I have the best job in the world…or at least tied with mega rockstar!”
Mothers Know Best
London became a mom very young. Her two children, Noah, now 22, and Elle, now 18, thought it was great when their mom was embarking on a new profession. “Noah was just starting college and Elle was starting high school. They thought it was pretty cool that I had new birth stories for them because they were getting tired of their own stories being told,” she says. “I went through training with Doulas of North America, got licensed by The American Association of Drugless Practitioners, went to school for a year and became a Holistic Health Counselor, and I read everything I could get my hands on. I devoured Spiritual Midwifery by Ina Mae Gaskin, joined doula groups around the city and most importantly, really started to make sense of my own birth experiences. That’s when everything came together and I felt like I understood my role as a professional doula. Push Love was born.”
Much of London’s motivation to help deliver babies comes from the vastly different deliveries of her own children. She explains, “My son’s birth was mismanaged and I just bought into it all. I was young and naïve. I ended up with a c-section because they said my pelvis wouldn’t accommodate my son at 8lbs 14oz. What’s a girl to do when she’s laid on her back for 27 hours?” she says. Noah was born a healthy baby boy “with a perfectly shaped head,” London adds. She became pregnant with Elle (pictured at right) two and a half years later. “I wanted to take the bull by the horns with this pregnancy. I was living in LA at the time and found a really great support team who believed in a natural/vaginal delivery after c-section,” she shares. And she did it! Elle was born naturally and weighed in just as Noah did—at 8lbs 14oz! “She came right through that same pelvis!” London says. “I felt so empowered by my own determination, strength, and sheer will. I knew then that the mind was the most powerful aspect in having an incredible birth experience.”
Juggling It All
As a young single mom, London was a fit model, which meant a lot of travel, and a lot of time away from her kids, who were little at the time. “That was a hard job for me as a mother. I was under contract with a major clothing company and sometimes I would go into work and they would say, ‘There’s an emergency with a cuff on a short and they want to see it on you. You have a flight booked for Hong Kong at 2 o’clock this afternoon.’ Thank goodness for my mom and dad who lived close to me. I did what I had to do until I just couldn’t do it anymore. Then I got into fitness, health, and personal training. I started teaching yoga, kickboxing, kids’ fitness…you name it. I made my own schedule with no travel. I could be there when the kids got home from school and be with them. I loved it and knew from that point on only I could be my boss.”
“My kids…they are my inspiration,” she shares. “They are creative, compassionate, self-confident, and real easy on the eyes. I still am amazed that they grew inside of me. I realized a long time ago that they were each their own person and not just a little me,” London says. One of her philosophies of being a mom was respecting who they were and who they will become—and she helped them explore all kinds of possibilities. “I have carted my kids around to every kind of lesson and sport you can imagine. I wanted them to know that they have choices and to always search and follow your passions. [Noah pictured at right.] I am always inspired when they demonstrate the lessons they’ve learned in life so far. My kids are definitely the ones to notice how beautiful the moon looks or how cool that a flower grew through a crack in the sidewalk. They are very aware of what’s going on around them and I love that. I think they appreciate having a mom who loves what she does for a living. I believe I raised them to know that the true quest in life is for happiness and self love. Everything else after that just falls into place.”
“My family is so supportive and fantastic about my work. They actually get excited for each and every birth. I give them updates all along the way. They understand when I get called away in the middle of the night or maybe have to hang around the city instead of going to the beach for the weekend,” she says. “But I always allow some time in the summer to get away and just be with my loved ones. At this point, my kids pretty much take care of themselves. I always joke that they’re like roommates who don’t pay rent. If they were younger, I’m sure it would be a lot more challenging.”
But London is approaching a new phase with her family. “With my son out of the house and on his own and my daughter ready to graduate, I felt sort of overwhelmed with the ‘empty nest syndrome,’” she says. After all, she became a mom at 19 and did a lot of growing up herself while raising her kids. “No matter what I am doing professionally, I am a mother first and foremost!” says London. But with the kids all grown up, she began to feel like she would lose her identity once they left. “I really had to dig deep and make sense of the huge change that was quickly approaching. I had to shift my perspective. I realized my role as a mother would not come to a screeching halt just because we weren't all living under the same roof. I could still call to ‘nit-pick’ and make sure they were getting all the things done. I began to feel like I wasn't in a losing situation, but I was at a new point in my life where I could really focus on my career path.”
Another challenge London has faced is that she runs her business out of her home. “Not so great for me,” she admits. “I put pressure on myself to do all the house stuff as if that was all I had to do…on top of all my work.” Aside from her doula duties, she is a personal trainer, is the creator and organizer of The Fit Farm workouts in Central Park, and does holistic health counseling, but still she wanted to be able to do more. “I started to think hard about what kind of place I wanted…started creating energy behind the idea,” she says, and opportunity rang—literally. “My neighbor had rented a space with a huge garden and an extra room,” she says. “Sometime last year, I had casually mentioned that I would like a space for Push Love. Funny how positive thoughts make things happen. So now I’m working on my new office. The doula is in!”
The Men In Her Life
Noah, her son, isn’t the only man in her life who is proud of her work. Her boyfriend, Justin, is also very supportive. “Not too long ago, I came home from a birth around 5:30am. I had taken some incredible photographs of the delivery and wanted to look at them to unwind and process what had happened,” London shares. “My boyfriend woke up when I climbed into bed and asked me how it went. He could tell that I was still really excited about the birth. He snuggled up to me and said, ‘OK baby, show me the pictures.’ It’s just such an exciting experience that you feel like you could pop if you can’t share the story and get it out. It never gets old or mundane. Every birth is magical. I love that he honored my experience.”
Then there are the dads. Doulas have a lot to offer and it’s not just for the moms. “My role in no way diminishes the father’s place at the birth. It’s his birth too!” she stresses. Particularly for first-time dads, she notes. “It’s a lot of pressure on the father to go into a situation that’s unfamiliar and is expected to start coaching. I give them a sense of relief when I let them know that what is needed most is his familiar touch and loving encouragement. I encourage him to relax and be present for his partner and the experience. I form a bond with my dads that they seem so grateful for after the pregnancy and birth,” she says. “I like to celebrate and acknowledge their role throughout the journey. In the end, it’s not just a baby being born, but a family.”
When Phil Doucet (left) and his wife Jennifer were considering a doula, London’s name was highly recommended by a friend. They met and knew she was the right person to guide them with the birth of their first child. “There was a lot of fear for me, being the man in the situation," Phil shares. "I had a sense of helplessness, but once we met with London and started working with her, I realized how I can be useful. She included me and helped me feel not left out during the process—I learned the breathing and meditation techniques, and how to be present. It was empowering and made the experience all the more amazing.”
I Doula
Recognizing success is important in any job we do, and for London, being a doula is so much more than just a job. “A beautiful client of mine had just given birth at a birthing center in Brooklyn. She looked at me so peaceful and elated and said, ‘That wasn’t so bad’ and I smiled and said, ‘See I didn’t lie, you are made for this.’ I helped her realize her own strength to let go and let birth happen. Also, I feel like a success every time one of my clients hooks me up with a new expecting mother. I don’t advertise. My business is based on word of mouth. Lots of word is getting around because I’m booked up for the next six months. That’s good considering nobody can book me before they’re pregnant.”
London stresses the importance of feeling a connection when choosing a doula. “Do your research and ask around to your new mommy friends,” she says. “Talk with several doulas and pick the one you feel most comfortable with. Doulas can be very different with their approach and what they have in their ‘bag of tricks.’ I’m pretty bare bones—give me a cold washcloth and a cup of ice chips and I can work some magic. The doula that’s right for you will support your vision of what you think you’ll want and need. Remember, you are inviting someone to share in one of the most intimate times of your life. You want to like and be inspired by her. Also, the greatest thing about having a doula is the continuous presence and care. Doctors and nurses come and go, but a doula is always right by your side. She is there for you and your family. She is your advocate and her only vested interest is you, and that’s so comforting.”
Births can sometimes be challenging, and London is always on the ready. “I do encourage expecting parents to make a birth plan—it helps everyone become more aware of their options and hospital protocol. It’s a guide of their vision. I ask them to go over the plan with their care provider as early as possible just in case there is an issue or strong difference of opinion. I've had clients change care providers at the last minute due to this. So I like to have everyone on the same page and feeling confident in the front end—arguing about protocol and procedures should not be happening during labor. Of course, sometimes quick decisions have to be made and they may have to make changes to the original plan. I remind my couples to take it one step at a time. For example, a baby could be in perfect birthing position and ‘flip-flop’ to breech at the onset of labor. The next step will depend on your care provider. Does the care provider have experience in successfully turning a breech baby or will they recommend a c-section right away? It will still depend on who you have chosen to help birth your child. I tell expectant parents to really research your doctor or midwife. Different decisions will be made by a midwife than an OB. Make sure you are confident and comfortable with the team that surrounds you at this incredible event. In my experience, when we've had to deviate from a birth plan due to complications, I inform them of what's going on every step of the way. When you are unsure, fear easily sets in. Ask questions. What is the problem and why is it a problem? What are the options? Are there any alternatives (for example: waiting or doing nothing) that are minimally invasive? Are there risks or side effects to mom or baby? It's your care provider’s job to explain. As always, I support the expecting parents’ decision without judgment.”
“I'm best known for getting my clients educated about the birth process and then I get them to let go and relax. I do a really in depth intake session with them before the birth. I ask a lot of fun questions. I tap into their mindset about giving birth. What makes them afraid or really excited? We address those ‘triggers.’ I do an incredible relaxation session with them to let them explore their inner thoughts. I help guide them to their ‘happy place’ in their mind where they feel safe, confident, and very loved,” she says and stresses how important it is to be able to relax during the birth experience. I teach them how to control their breath and relax their muscles. For example, when a woman relaxes her clenched jaw, it will allow the rest of her body to relax and open.” London also gets the birthing partner or father involved in these breath exercises—dads need to free the tension, too. “I get them to pinpoint ahead of time where they tend to hold their tension and work at releasing those areas for overall benefit. Just think—it's way more difficult to do anything when you’re tensed and stressed than when you are relaxed and breathing freely. My methods are pretty organic. Breathe, relax, let go, and focus on that moment you will look into your baby's eyes.”
There are lots of moms with one child, born sans doula, who are considering having a doula for their second child. For this situation, London shared that she would delve into the birth of the first child: What was the experience like? What would the mother like to do the same? Different? “It’s a completely different conversation than with a first time baby-haver,” London says. “Although each birth is unique, the mother in this situation has more of an idea what to expect. With your first childbirth, you are diving into the unknown. It can be mysterious and exciting or fearful and chaotic. But the second birth, you have more of a plan that you know will work for you. Things make more sense with subsequent births. We know first-hand how our bodies work. It’s an amazing design!”
With doulas taking some heat in the press lately, we asked London’s opinion on the matter. “The doula concept has really started to get notice in the last few years. Anything that’s going more mainstream is going be up for scrutiny. Especially with my hospital births, I encounter a nurse or a doctor who anticipates that I, as the doula, might ‘step on their toes’ or pressure my client into not giving up on a natural birth with some kind of medical complications. I believe we are a team and all have our place. I never speak on behalf of my clients, but I make sure they are knowledgeable about their choices and to give strength and confidence to their voices. My philosophy and the Push Love motto is ‘Your Body, Your Birth, Your Baby.’ I approach each expecting couple and their birth as an individual experience without judgment.
Though London didn’t have a doula for her own births of Noah and Elle, she says of the future, “If there’s a next time, you bet! I wouldn’t dream of giving birth without a doula. My only problem is that I know so many incredible doulas…who do I choose?”
London’s Extras
What’s in your handbag? I carry at all times…exercise band, a rubber-banded notebook where I shove all my scraps of paper that I rip out of whatever I’m reading. Plus, I write all my ideas down and to-do lists. Little Moon Essentials floral lotion. Highlighter and fat black marker, always! Whatever book I’m reading.
Favorite makeup? MyChelle Pumpkin Renew Cream and Serum. It’s natural and I can pick it up at Whole Foods when I grocery shop. I love my Shiseido eyelash curler!
Best stress reliever? Besides meditation, I love to ‘check out’ and read ‘rag mags’ on the train. I feel like it’s such a quirky indulgence.
Beauty Secret? Organic coconut oil! I have slathered it all over my body after just about every shower since I was around 13 years old. Coconut oil is so good for you inside and out. It’s such a yummy way to take in so many health benefits. Plus, it makes your skin glow and you smell like the beach.
Also…meditation! I meditate every day…my own way. I started meditating around 13 years ago. At first I thought I had to attach all these rules to my practice—sit in lotus, palms up and fingers touching, and all that jazzy stuff, which is fine if it works for you, but I felt like I couldn’t get where I wanted to go. Then it dawned on me that this is a personal practice, a personal experience. Bingo! I started to explore. On the train, my fire escape, my favorite yoga positions, you name it. I got better and better at letting go and going deep. To me, it wasn’t about a religious affiliation or an ancient way—it was about me, my mind, my breath and my ability to be inside my own self. I love and trust myself because of this discovery. And that makes me feel healthier and more beautiful.
Who is your role model? My mama! She always tells me what a wonderful mother I am and I always say, “You were my teacher!” She always made me feel like I could do anything. My parents’ love is and has always been totally unconditional. There’s such a sweet security in knowing that exists.
Dream purchase? A beautiful old brownstone that isn’t a fixer upper—with a huge garden, all lush with cutting flowers and fruit trees that gets sunshine all day. A city girl can dream.
Push Love serves the NYC area.
