Readers often tell me their stories. This week Diana Ralls sent me a "rant" about how she feels when other moms question her decision to work outside the home. Yes, it still happens! How about you? Do you still feel there is a gap between SAHMs and career moms?

Here's Diana's Response to Negative Judgement:

Many times over the years I have been judged negatively as a working-mom.  I almost always keep my mouth shut, smile and move on.  Today, I'm feeling a little more sassy and am just going to let it all out:
 
1) No, I don't wish I could "afford" to stay home. You don't need to tell me how "fortunate" you are that you "get" to stay home. I can definitely "afford" to stay home even without your coupon-clipping, cost-cutting, penny-pinching measures.
 
2) I don't just work for the money. You act like I traded my kids' souls for my Mercedes. Give me a break. Am I proud to say that if anything were to happen to my husband's income, I could easily support us? Damn straight. If I didn't get paid would I still work? Hell no.  Do I really make enough after all of my "work" expenses to make it worthwhile?  Wouldn't you like to know.
 
3) No, I'm not worried that my children will be abused in daycare.  Child abuse happens every single day in lots of different places....I don't think there's any greater chance of my child being abused in daycare than there is in letting them visit your house.  
 
3) No, I don't believe your job is harder than my job.  Yes, I've seen the breakdowns of how much money you "would" make if you were getting paid (accountant, janitor, cook, psychologist, teacher, housekeeper, CEO, etc.) but I do all of that AND I manage to actually get paid.  
 
4) Yes, my cookies for the bake sale are store bought...it's called efficient.
 
5) No, I can't make it to the parent club meeting you are having in the middle of the day and I don't feel one bit guilty.  If you had scheduled it in the evening I would have had to make up an excuse not to come. This way, I have a built in one ready to go...I WORK!
 
6) No, I'm not sad that I missed my son's first step.  I got to see him take a step for the first time when I got home from work and that step meant a whole lot more to him because his mom was there to see it.
 
7) No, I don't feel like someone else is raising my child.  My husband and I are raising our children and we have enlisted the help of countless people along the way.  My children are loved by many, many people.  They are comfortable and confident around lots of different people, can handle themselves appropriately in difficult situations, are resilient and open to change and above all, know that I will always come back.
 
8)  I was not "born to be a mom".  I am a damn good mom but I was born to be many, many things.  A mother, daughter, wife, sister, friend, photographer, writer, dreamer, and yes, even a Director of Financial Aid.  It's called multi-tasking and I'm fabulous at it.
 
I didn't say all of this to the woman earlier this week who pissed me off.  I would never want to make someone feel disrespected like she intended to do to me.  I love my stay-at-home mom friends and value their strengths and hope that they value mine.  Please know that you will never again hear me say any of the above.  It's not my intent to hurt feelings but rather voice the opposition to the judgments that have been spewed upon me over the years.  I know that stay-at-home moms have also felt judged and make the rest of us working moms look bad.  For that, I sincerely apologize.
 
Someday, we as women will all respect the choices we individually make for ourselves and for our families.  We will live together in absence of judgment knowing that there is no ONE right way to raise children. Instead of justifying our decisions to ourselves by speaking them out loud to one another, we will be confident enough in the decisions we have made to just be happy for each other.  We will assume that we've each made the decision that best suits our personality, lifestyle and situation.  We will rejoice in the opportunity to help one another...offering up the best of ourselves.  We will pool our myriad of talents together to create that proverbial village where all are welcome, all are respected and all are contributors.
 
Until then...women who take it upon themselves to make judgment on me should do so at their own risk.