I’m waiting.  As we enter the second decade of the 21^st century I’m still waiting for society – employers, public and private schools, summer camps, preschools, whole generations of women and men – to recognize, at long last, the two-working parent family.  In my day to day world, it’s no surprise that approximately 75% of children in the United States have two working parents, including children of preschool age (the current state of our economy notwithstanding).  Until recently, I didn’t realize that this statistic is surprising to some; namely, the non-working Mommy set.

This is not the place for a debate about the merits of either staying home or being a working parent.  Those debates are unproductive and divisive. The feminist movement of the 1960s and 1970s was all about women’s freedom to choose their own paths with confidence.  Today we have choices, to be sure, but we are still fighting be recognized and dare I say, accommodated for working full time alongside our male partners.  Lately much has been written in the media about flexible scheduling, telecommuting, and all the new and creative work lives that have resulted from new technology.  Research has shown that flexible scheduling leads to happier and more productive employees.  It only follows, then, that it’s in an organization’s best interest to adapt to the needs of its employees, including working parents, especially given the availability of new technologies.  The time has come.  And while I don’t deny that many enlightened and saavy organizations have adopted such practices, the vast majority of American businesses have not.

I remember my quest to find childcare for my second daughter while I was on maternity leave.  It was difficult to find a child care provider that stayed open until 5 pm, let alone 6 pm.  (Doesn’t anyone work until 5 pm anymore?!?).  When it was time for preschool, I encountered much the same.  I recall very clearly visiting one preschool that seemed perfect, until I learned that it closed daily at 3 pm.  I asked if there was extended care, and when the answer was no, I asked, “What do children with two working parents do?”  After a brief pause, the woman giving the preschool tour responded that she didn’t know of any mothers at the school who work, so she didn’t have an answer for me.  I crossed that school off my list – and another, and another.  I learned that the process of choosing my child’s education was little more than a process of elimination.

The situation is even more challenging in the summer. We’re planning a family trip to the Middle East this summer using frequent flyer tickets, which necessitates that I plan early.  I’ve been examining the calendar and perusing the flight schedules for June and July and then a mild panic set in – what will my children do for the month of August that a) we can afford, b) opens at 8 am, and c) closes as late as 5 pm, if not later? Once again, the process of elimination begins.

A few years ago I sat with several day camp bus schedules spread across my desk when I realized that ultimately, my decision of where to send my third grader did not depend on the cost or quality of the camp program but rather, on the bus schedule. Where was all the choice that had been fought for, worked for, earned?  Fortunately, the day camp that had the earliest and latest times turned out to be a great camp and my daughter went there for three years.  They were three stressful summers, as each day we tried to figure out who could be at the bus by 5 pm and if I had to make an excuse to leave work early.  Sometimes it feels like everyone knows the secret except for me and I’m the only one who struggles with childcare issues, early closings, expensive extended care, etc., but I know that can’t be so. You don’t have to appreciate or even understand my lifestyle and career choices, but in 2011, isn’t it time to accommodate the two parent working household?