In Los Angeles everyone knows that ‘back to school’ means ‘back to traffic.’  My morning commute to work is a good 15 minutes longer, which means 15 minutes longer until I get my hot morning coffee. So I’m not sure if it’s the delay in my daily morning coffee infusion or the fact that this year I have one child starting Kindergarten and one starting Middle School that has me sleep walking through most mornings.  Don’t get me wrong – I have no regrets about waiting to have a second child, and most of the time, the age difference works very well for our family in terms of juggling schedules, school events, and morning and bedtime routines.  But I feel as I’ve been in a time warp these past few weeks.  Working at a university just adds to the strangeness of back to school this year.  It’s back to school at work and back to school at home. 

Work is the constant, though my role and responsibilities are continually evolving with new projects and new experiences. I thrive on being busy and the joy of having accomplished something new. Change is good.  Maybe it’s too much change at once?  One child has become a young woman in a matter of a few months and is suddenly very independent about doing her homework, not to mention late night sessions chatting and texting with friends.  My ‘baby’ is no longer a baby, having started her own academic journey with gusto, not to mention homework every night.  For now, the work-life balance is working.  Weekends are filled with soccer games and errands, but also, concerts and plays and other fun events.  We have found balance within our family as well.  We have managed to find a comfortable balance of spending time all together and carving out sacred family time, like Friday night dinners, and one on one time with each child.  In between, we have our separate interests and responsibilities.  It’s a delicate balance, to be sure. 

As I keep trudging along, looking for new challenges at work, my children are fully immersed in their own lives and embracing new challenges. Maybe my dilemma isn’t change or growing old or work-life balance, it’s separation anxiety.  As one dear friend likes to remind me, from the time its born, a child’s “job” is to separate from its parents.  It is our ultimate role and responsibility as parents: to raise competent, independent human beings who can function in the world without us.  It’s the old adage about giving our children both roots - Friday night dinners -  and wings - school, homework, and eventually, texting.  And I realize that achieving work-life balance is less about juggling projects and schedules, and more about understanding and embracing my role, which, for now, is to ensure that we have roots holding firmly in the family soil and the wings that are not too delicate for flying.