During a 3-week vacation in Florida, my in-law’s (who also happen to live with me) agreed to merge the family pool business into a larger company. They had full buy-in on choosing retirement and let the idea of being unemployed swim over them for several glorious weeks. There was discussion about traveling, volunteering in the community, spending more time with grandkids and so on. Yet, within days of their return the celebrated opportunities morphed into a catatonic state. 

 

Jammies on at 1:00 in the afternoon. Great heaving sighs from the kitchen aimed at no one in particular. Endless games of Solitaire on the computer. A constant argumentative need for reliving the details of the merger. Need I go on? Finally, Pop, my father-in-law admitted to me, “I’m in a funk. I don’t know what to do with myself.” So while the idea of retirement had sounded good while on vacation, the reality at home is turning out to be tougher to swallow. 

 

This really didn’t come as a huge surprise. Both Pop and Mars have woven work and play into one in their lives, often spending large parts of mealtime in heavy discussion over so-and-so’s hideous landscaping design around the pool or combining sales calls into a Sunday drive and dinner out. The pool business is part of the identity of both and also how Pop and Mars communicate with each other. 

 

So my current Wabi-Sabi dilemma is how to steer Pop and Mars in a direction of discovering and dusting off passions outside of work without choosing their next steps for them. While it would be easy for me to sign them up for monthly Bingo nights and use them as my on-call babysitting service, they need something to do that provides purpose and interaction. Finding direction isn’t something I can schedule or force on them (which by the way is my typical style). 

 

How do you find your purpose beyond what you did/do at work? 

 

Oh, and did I forget to mention – they are 81 and 82 years young. 

 

Our first steps have been:

 

1.  Signing up for a gardening class and some much needed computer classes geared especially for seniors.

2.  Setting up designated days for Pop and Mars to be "in-charge" of my little ones and even taking them to school. 

3.  Scouting trips to survey properties we may one day purchase. 

4.  Involving other siblings so more ideas and trips are proposed.

 

Not sure what will stick but that's the point of exploring.  All it takes is a spark to get that darn fire going...