Going out to eat with an almost two year old is not the definition of relaxing.

It will usually start out okay.  That is IF we don’t have to wait for a table.  The other morning, we went out to brunch with my husband’s parents and forgetting about the church crowd, it was a 45 minute wait. We knew if we tried somewhere else, we would probably wait there too, so we gave it a shot.  It was okay though – I came prepared with cheese, apple sauce, and cars to play with.

This lasted five and a half minutes. 

Oh, wait – he was also excited to see Grandpa and Grandma, so he spent some time showing off and giving them hugs.  Ok, so there were about seven more minutes. 

The rest of the time was spent chasing him (literally, sprinting) while he weaved through all of people in the waiting area or serving as a toddler goalie at the door preventing him from making a mad dash outside.  By the time we actually sat down, Tony and I felt like we had run a 10k and needed a nap.

The first few minutes after sitting down are usually pretty easygoing.  Declan likes the crayons for about two minutes, but then prefers to either chew on them or throw them at the waitresses walking by.  We always wonder what is better – to order his food right when we get there or wait until we all order.  The thing with ordering his right away is that he is done by the time we get our food, so one of us usually spends time chasing him around the restaurant while our food gets cold.  However, if we wait until we order, while this option works well, we rarely enjoy our food as we spend most of the time cutting his food and making sure he isn’t throwing it at the wall. 

Sometimes I wonder if I should just order a salad (without dressing), a glass of water, and some cardboard for dessert.  Between shoveling food in my mouth, trying to contribute to the conversation at the table, and testing my hand-eye coordination with anything in Declan’s reach, I somehow manage to eat an entire plate of food and not even remember it. 

We also went out to brunch with my family that weekend.  There was ten of us at the table, and at the other end from where we were, was a very different scene.  While Tony and I wrested the salt and pepper shakers from Declan and wiped the ketchup from all over his face, the others sat with coffee and relaxed conversations.  I looked over at my sister, who doesn’t have kids yet, and told her to take advantage of relaxing meals out, because everything changes when you have kids.  She laughed…but she has no idea.

We still take Declan out to eat, but we have now realized a few things:

1.) We try to be strict about the window of time we have to eat.  If we get into his nap or nighttime schedule, all hell breaks loose. 

2.) We try to keep it somewhere kid-friendly.  Places like Buffalo Wild Wings gives kids a funny hat and balloon which our son absolutely loves.

3.) Quick service is essential.  Long wait = cranky child = throwing things = crayons are taken away = cranky child = cranky parents = not a relaxing meal.

4.) Bring snacks

5.) When all else fails… we whip out the binky.  It’s instantly calming and well worth it.

I tell everyone I know who doesn’t have kids yet to savor those coffee dates, relax with a drink at happy hour, and appreciate meaningful and quality conversation.  For us, we have found we much prefer to just keep our meals relaxed and at home.  Our dog eats anything that falls on the floor, we have the ability to make three dinners if Declan’s being picky, and my husband and I aren’t on the brink of divorce by the end of the meal.  Or, as we have learned, we just get a babysitter…