So as I said, I have once again taken on too much.  And then I wonder why I wake up in the morning like I drank heavily all night (I wish- that would entail having a social life).  No, it is a work-too-much hangover. 

But the launch party, uhm, event, went well.  My business partner is trying ever so hard to retrain my mind to think like a business owner.  I have to say this is difficult, even though I thought it would not be.  I have worked hard my whole life.  My first job started at 16, and when I was in college, I had two jobs, my first one and my college internship.  Hard work, dedication, loyalty are no issues for me.  So why am I having issues with owning my own business?  Why can I work hard for someone else but not for myself.

I think one of the reasons is the way these types of businesses, Arbonne included, start out.  I have a hard time asking people for anything.  I never need help, but am the first to offer.  You need cash because you are having a hard time, no problem, but I will never ask you for a dime.  I won't even ask for directions when I 'm lost - I can do it, no help required (good thing I always have a full tank).  But as you start this type of business, your clients are your friends and family, and this for me is painful.  I mean physically painful.  'You are supposed to call people', you say.  'Don't you have their numbers?'  Ahh....I haven't picked up my phone in 3 years.  I call approximately 4 people in my life (one being my mother, but we are on a time out, so I am down to 3 and most of them get texts instead).  I e-mail, I text, I am a computer savvy momma.  Who has time to chat on the phone anymore?  I don't, and I doubt anyone else does.  But my partner said make calls.  So I may have told a fib or too, and wrote e-mails.  Thankfully the e-mail campaign went well, so I did finally fess up.

Again, it comes back to, why is this an issue?  Why shouldn't I be proud of working hard at a business that is all my own?  I am afraid of success?  How can that be - I  have been trying to pursue it my entire life?  It's mind boggling, and I am wondering if any other working moms out there have had this type of issue.  Would love to hear from you, and get some advice.