My mother was—and is—a neat freak. So much so that she won’t mind me calling her out in these pages. Once, when a bunch of my college pals slept over, she woke us with the roar of her vacuum at 5:30 a.m. As my bleary-eyed friends whispered, “Oh my god, why does she hate us?!” I knew the truth: mom always started her day by cleaning the house, no matter who was sleeping on the floor!

These days, I’m the working mom with little kids, and yes, like mom, I do most of the picking up. (Hubby does all the laundry, which on most days is a fair tradeoff.)

Everyone pitches in on the big cleans; nevertheless, it’s me who says, “Time to clean!” and it’s me who, before going to bed, tosses papers and picks up socks.

A clean house makes me happy, whereas it’s just not as big a deal for hubby. But let’s be real: when I’m picking up the kids’ room moments before a playdate arrives to mess up said room, I’ve got to admit there’s something more at work here. Am I worried that the playdate’s mom will somehow judge us if our house isn’t orderly? What exactly do I think a semi-messy home will say about us?

I am comforted to learn in “Get Your House In Order” that I’m not the only one who still holds on to this germ of a retro idea—that despite all we do at home and at work, the deepest judgment is somehow tied to our cleaning skills.

But really, will another mom judge me based on house neatness? I kinda doubt it. Hers probably looks worse than mine, because the playdate is at my house. And if a messy home does freak her out? Well, so be it. Maybe the free babysitting that a playdate offers isn’t worth as much to her as to me!

As always, I say let’s give ourselves a break. Let’s clean when we want to, not because we worry what others will think. And Gwendolyn, come college, I swear I’ll wait until you guys get up before asking you and your pals to run the vacuum!

From the April/May Issue of Working Mother