Working moms go through a lot of firsts: first job, first promotion, first baby—and, of course, all of our kids’ firsts (you get the picture). Some are exhilarating, some exhausting, some painful, some proud. But the first that’s hard to beat for sheer emotional anxiety is the new mom’s first day back on the job after that tender time of bonding with her child.

Being off the clock and all about your baby has left you in a mommy zone that may make returning to work tricky, if not traumatic. Oh yes, you probably haven’t slept more than a handful of hours in all those weeks off either. Sympathetic colleagues and a boss who’s happy to see you will help, but you’ll need more, says Kirsten Berggren, PhD, a nurse practitioner and lactation consultant, author of Working Without Weaning and host of WorkAndPump.com. Here, her advice for a smooth reentry.

Plan ahead. The night before your first day back—maybe two night before—organize your wardrobe and makeup. Write notes for your caregiver.

Pack up. On back-to-work eve, make your lunch, gather healthy snacks, grab a refillable water bottle and refrigerate them in a pretty bag. If you're still lactating pack up your pump kit, pads ice packs and other paraphernalia, maybe even a change of bra and blouse. Here’s a detailed night-before checklist to get you ready for your first day back to work.

Go back on a Wednesday. If you can arrange it, start back to work midweek. A shorter first week will keep things from overwhelming and overtiring you.

Take extra time. “Everything will take longer than you think that first morning, and that’s okay,” assures Dr. Berggren. Give yourself enough time to be as ready as you can. Maybe even plan to go in a bit late so you won’t be as stressed getting out of the house.

Connect with other moms. While you’re working, a few text messages with a pal, visiting friends on Facebook or talking on the phone during lunch with another mom in the same boat can help you feel less alone and more sane. Chances are there are other moms at work who can also help you feel a little less crazy.

Check on your baby—as much as you want. “If you want to call your day care provider or sitter 20 times to find out how your baby’s doing, do it,” counsels Dr. Berggren. “They’re used to it and won't think you're crazy. Believe me, you won’t be the first.”

Let yourself think about your child. It may be distracting when your head goes to baby land all day long, but it’s also fine. It will get better, and eventually you'll be able to focus on your work again. If you feel like you just want to zero in on projects and not think about the baby, that's also normal. And it may make your first day easier. Either way, you’ll get some sweet snuggle time with your baby once you’re home.

Bond with working moms after work. What you're doing is really hard, and other working mothers (even if their kids are older) will be able to give you valuable empathy—so your second day back will be easier than the first.

If You Continue to Breastfeed:

About lactation rules and the workplace

Practice pumping. Be sure to pump breast milk a few times at home to get used to how long the pump set-up and take-down actually takes. Rather than leaving the pump set up at home, do it start-to-finish a few times for true timing before pumping at work.

Relax while you pump. When you’re on a pumping break, just close your eyes and try to chill. Avoid thinking about how much milk you’re pumping, and don’t worry if you start to feel a little teary missing your baby. It just means your oxytocin hormone is flowing—a good thing, says Dr. Berggren, because it'll help you pump more milk.