I could not have chosen a more unpredictable and capricious time to be in health care policy with a new health care reform law and our Medicare and Medicaid programs consuming much of our tight federal and/or state budgets. Plus, I’m a lobbyist in one of the most peculiar states in the Union, good ole South Carolina—home to “Yell It Like It Is--You Lie!” Joe Wilson, “You Gotta Be Kidding Me” Alvin Greene, and “You Were Doing WHAT on the Appalachian Trail?” Mark Sanford.

Needless to say, my job can be pretty stressful at times, and a day’s work is truly a day’s work. Work days are often full and can be emotionally and mentally draining, but there is no worse feeling for me than to come home and feel like I have nothing left to give to what is most important, my family. I feel even worse if I’m easily agitated by my two small children or husband.

After praying about it and seeking counsel from other working mothers, I realized that a lot of the agitation was stemming from me not leaving work. I mean, I was leaving work, but I wasn’t really leaving work. And, somehow in the span of time between leaving the office and walking into my home, I needed to emotionally and mentally detach from work to better shift into my role at home. I’m sharing with you my new game plan to do just that.  

Unwind—As much as possible, if I’m riding home from work alone, I am now turning on soothing music or maybe none at all, just so I can clear my head. It’s tempting to take that time to make calls or plan that evening’s meal in your mind, but if your house is anything like mine, you can easily go straight (and stressed) from your day job to your homemaker night job. As soon as I walk in to my home and my children greet me, it’s not two seconds later that I hear, “Mommy, I’m hungry,” “Mommy, can I _____,” or “Mmmaa ddaaddaa sssss bbaaBBAA” (10 month-old babble interpretation: “Mommy, pick me up…now!”).

Time to and for yourself, even it’s just a few minutes, is vital for an evening of peace and productivity. If you are married, perhaps you can arrange with your spouse an allotted amount of me-time after each work day. Another thing that helps me unwind and shift roles is a lasting embrace from one or both of my children.

Undress—I have often walked into my home and immediately started cleaning, cooking and caring for my children, all with a Tahari power suit on. No wonder I had spit up on my blazer! (Pun intended).

That suit though symbolically carries with it all the chaos I could have experienced earlier that day, so it’s important to shed myself of it. More relaxed clothing makes me feel and act more relaxed.

Unplug—In our Blackberry, Smartphone age, it’s easy to never detach from work because we are always accessible. I have some older males at my job who seem to not have anything better to do on some nights and weekends than to create bold, new initiatives and share them by e-mail. And with the nature of my lobbying responsibilities, if our legislature debates legislation into the wee hours of the night, my phone is getting e-mails or Tweets about it, even if I have left the Statehouse grounds.

I used to try to keep up with all of this and tend to my family, but that is impossible and unfair to them. I owe it to them and myself to either turn off my phone, place it in another room, or ignore messages after a certain time in the evening. The hours we working moms get with our family after work are precious, and they deserve our undivided attention.