When Marilyn Cohen of Hollis Hills, NY, retired from teaching middle school English, she thought her days of working fulltime were over. Interested in staying active, she got her real estate license and began selling co-ops for a boutique real estate agency, Mattone Real Estate—a perfect part-time job that helped keep her busy, brought in extra income, and offered her the chance to meet new people. Then her daughter, Michelle, who lives five minutes away, had two children, Jordan and Sydney—now 6 and 4 years old—and Cohen became a working grandma who, along with her husband, provided the majority of child care for their two grandchildren.

A Growing Trend
Cohen’s situation is becoming more common as the cost of child care increases and grandparents take on more babysitting responsibilities, but also continue to work well past traditional retirement age. “The average cost of infant care is out of reach for many families, so they’re looking for alternate options,” says Linda K. Smith, executive director of the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA).  “Only 8 percent of grandparents who are providing care for their grandchildren get any income from that so, at least in part, cost savings is a motivation.”

And while Cohen lives five minutes away from her daughter and grandkids, more and more grandparents live with their children. In 2008, a record 49 million Americans, or 16 percent of the population, lived in households with at least two adult generations or a grandparent plus one other generation, according to the nonprofit Pew Research Center in Washington. That is up 17% from 2000.

Another common reason for grandparents to pitch in with child care is a non-traditional work shift. Smith points out, “the formal childcare system operates from about 7 a.m. to 6 p.m., but not all parents have standard schedules. They need flexibility, and grandparents are filling in the gaps.”

That’s certainly true for Cohen. “When Jordan and Sydney were in preschool, their parents would drop them at our house in the morning and we’d drive them to school. We’d pick them up at the end of the day and read books or do crafts with them until their parents picked them up,” she says. Now that the kids are in elementary school, school buses transport them back and forth and after-school clubs take some of the responsibility off grandma and grandpa. Still, to juggle child care with her job, Cohen sometimes takes one or both children with her to show apartments to prospective buyers. “The children make friends with everyone—buyers, sellers, other real estate agents. They’re my little helpers,” she says.

Work Challenges
While Cohen’s job selling real estate offers flexible hours to accommodate time for her family, many grandmothers are faced with the need to request flex time, telecommuting accommodations, and other work-life benefits that they didn’t require before they had grandchildren. According to a 2008 study from NACCRRA, 52 percent of grandparents who provide childcare for their grandchildren are not yet retired. “Employers need to be thinking about flexibility, childcare subsidies and other policies, given this trend,” says Smith. She also advises grandparents to disclose their situation to their bosses and express the need for flexibility. “Making employers aware of these needs could be helpful to this country’s workforce,” Smith says.

Negotiations at Home
In addition to communicating with a supervisor, grandparents should have open communication with their children to avoid confusion about discipline, expectations or rules, advises Smith. As a grandmother and owner of the consulting business ParentWorks, and an online bookstore, Brenbooks, Sue Cohen (no relation to Marilyn) is grateful that her daughter moved to her hometown of Rockville, MD, so she could provide childcare for her two grandchildren, Evan, 7, and Molly, 3. But she realizes that setting appropriate boundaries are key to making the arrangement work. “Once the parents are home, I try to step back,” she says. But she admits, “It’s sometimes hard to detach after having been the parent for several hours.” Regular conversations are also important for successful child care arrangements. Sue Cohen discusses the children so much with her daughter, Shari, that they sometimes forget to keep each other up-to-date on their own news.

“Me Time” for Grandma
Losing yourself in your job and your childcare responsibilities can be a negative aspect of such an arrangement, according to Donna Butts, executive director of the advocacy group, Generations United. “These grandparents are worried about work and providing care for their grandchildren while many of their friends are thinking about books, travel and leisure activities,” she says. It’s important for grandparents to squeeze in time for themselves and to nurture their own interests to maintain their identities and avoid burn-out.

In spite of the time commitment and balancing act involved, having a grandma provide child care often brings happiness, closeness and peace of mind to the whole family. “I trust her completely, my children love her enormously and she loves them unconditionally,” says Sue’s daughter Shari, about her mom. “And she still makes them eat dinner before dessert and do homework before TV.”