Dr. Jennifer Canter and Her Prescription for Balance

Mom Stories

With an intense career as a pediatrician specializing in child abuse, this Westchester, NY, mom of four (two sets of twins!) also finds time to promote her children’s-learning invention, teach, blog, tweet...and breathe.

Twin Shifts
I get up by 6:30 a.m., hopefully to exercise. My husband leaves early, so I get the kids up and we snuggle a bit. Our caregiver helps them dress and get breakfast, though they mostly dress themselves. Sometimes I’m on flat-iron duty for the girls, who get on the school bus at 8 a.m. Then I usually sit and read or review homework with the boys—they started kindergarten this year—and put them on their bus at 8:45 before I head for the office ten minutes away.

The Kids’ Evening
Homework, dinner, baths. I lay out what we’re eating for the week, then our caregiver or I cook a healthy meal. We wait for Wade if he can get home by 7 p.m. Some nights in nice weather we all go to the high school track and walk. When everything’s done, I get in bed with all four kids and watch one of their programs for a half hour—Wipeout, American Idol and such. We relax this way. Wade and I rotate snuggles with the kids before bedtime.

Daily Logistics
The kids come home from their two schools and then are bused to afterschool activities every day—something we’re lucky to have in our town. When I can’t get home to pick them up, a backup sitter gets them, since our main caregiver doesn’t drive. I have an Excel sheet that covers every day: where we all are, who’s traveling where, what we’re all doing, when my mom comes to help. then I have to be prepared for those little emergencies and adapt.

Hard at Work
I’m one of a handful of mds in the United States who specialize in child abuse. I teach and also see patients. I work about a 50-hour week. My day is whatever it ends up being—emergency cases can wipe out the calendar. We have a shaken-baby education program, and we evaluate child fatalities. Sometimes I testify in court cases. I’m busy and efficient to the point of being marathon-like. It can be intense and hard on the people around me. But my work is fulfilling.

Our Nights
After the kids are in bed, I blog, tweet and work on my product, the U-Play mat (playthisway.com). I may Skype with China. But I set limits on this extra work so it doesn’t overwhelm me. I don’t go out weeknights. I work one night a week, and the others Wade and I watch TV dramas and reality TV on Netflix. If he works late, lately I read. I’ve read five books in two months. Before that I hadn’t read a book in more than five years!

—As told to Barbara Turvett

For more from Canter about life at home and how she lives it, check in at her workmom blog: Playdates with Dr. Jen®

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Implicit -- and sometimes

by wellons123 on August 18, 2013

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Hi there Dear, are you in

by dubturbo on May 04, 2013

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When your job is not 9-5, if

by Helen Jonsen on December 16, 2011

When your job is not 9-5, if you are on call or have long commutes or work jobs that swing shifts, day care facilities can never be the answer. That's where babysitters/nannies/household helpers come in. We make choices based on our lives. If you have children with special health needs you cannot rely on schools or outside facilities to take care of your kids. You have to juggle your budget to get family help. None of us make the same choices or fully appreciate the choices each other makes. Remember in the end it takes a village.

I applaud Dr. Canter for

by Tereza on December 11, 2011

I applaud Dr. Canter for doubling down on her commitment to care and speak for children of greatest need -- those who have been abused by the people they trust. Her expertise is uniquely critical to those kids, and the world is better for it. The last thing any earnest working mom needs is other women coming after her with pitchforks. To be sure, we have a crisis of employment and childcare in our country. Kudos to those women who can or must manage the juggle without supplemental childcare. It is highly impressive. Hanging Dr. Canter out to dry feel malicious and undermines the very important work she's doing. Many of us cannot afford a nanny. But some can. Some have the benefit of grandparent and extended family help. Others have no outside family. Whatever our personal situation, we need to make it work somehow. We each do our best given the resources we have. Dr. Canter had been extremely generous for opening up her family and childcare solutions to us. I look to her as an example. The real issue I have is the title (not Dr. Canter's), trumpeting the ideal of "balance". It's truly unattainable, and creates pressure which we really don't need. Aren't we all just doing the best we can, for our families and the world at large? Please -- let's, together, figure out how to make it work, for everyone's benefit.

Wow, I was reading this

by Allison375 on December 10, 2011

Wow, I was reading this article & actually thought how could someone be a doctor for abused children and not go home and cry every night. Doesn't sound to be like Barely-Lit or bestician read the post, this woman isn't "hiring someone" to do it all for her and if you read it she doesn't have a cook or three people - sounds like she's juggling it all like most of us (I am a working mom too with three kids and use a combination of day care and a teenage sitter at night). Glad to read this posting about a working mom with four kids (!) with those values is around if any of us face such a horrible situation with a child.

Same here...kinda made me

by bestican on December 04, 2011

Same here...kinda made me feel guilty, even though it says right there she can only stay on her schedule with a third person on hand.

I was hoping to find an

by Barely-Lit on November 30, 2011

I was hoping to find an article that would provide useful information on how to achieve what sometimes feels like unattainable work-life balance. What I found instead was an article about someone who outsources her childcare and even dinner cooking responsibilities to a caretaker, and yet "somehow" finds the time to keep up with her career and to blog. The vast majority of career-minded working mothers I know (including me) do not have a nanny/housekeeper/cook, and have to juggle those responsibilities along with keeping up with the demands of a full-time professional career. In the future, please post articles that are more relevant to mothers like me, and highlight those women who truly do find a way to manage both career and family without hiring someone to do all of that for them.

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