Marketing executive Beth Jackson has abruptly left board meetings to take the rare calls her Army reservist husband was able to make from Afghanistan. Janel Hill, a mom of two with a third on the way, downshifted her financial analyst job to part-time to balance her husband’s 14-hour days in the Air Force and his upcoming six-month deployment. And Timorah Beales, also married to an airman, knows the bittersweet experience of rebuilding her photography clientele at each new posting.

Being married to a member of the U.S. military is a proud experience, but it can be tough on a civilian career. When it comes to the workplace, “military spouses face all sorts of challenges that civilians don’t,” says Michelle Joyner, communications director for the nonprofit National Military Family Association (NMFA). Trainings, deployments and relocations can wreak havoc on one’s resume.

“Military spouses move up to 10 times more often than civilian spouses, which makes it more difficult to retain jobs and develop careers,” notes Meg O’Grady, director of spouse education and career opportunities in the office of the assistant secretary of defense. “Service members’ demanding work schedules, particularly when deployed, mean spouses often bear a larger share of childrearing and other family responsibilities.”

But make no mistake, these wives wouldn’t trade their lives—the benefits are good, the armed forces community is vibrant and loyal, and there’s honor in stepping up to serve. “If you have any sense of adventure, it’s a neat life,” says Kristin Beauchamp, wife of a naval aviator and mom of Owen, 2, who works at SargesList, a Craigslist-style marketplace for military families. You get to go many places and are surrounded by the most amazing, selfless, supportive people. But you’re constantly uprooting yourself for it.”

A Life in Limbo
On average, military families move every two to three years. Factoring in the time spent job-hunting, once a working wife has settled into a position it’s, well, often time to move on. The result? A resume that zigzags as much as it progresses. “When you move around, you often start at the bottom,” says Timorah, mom of Owen, 4, and Carissa, 2, who left work at an aerospace contractor to pursue photography because it was a career in which she could, ahem, call her own shots. “Even if you get promoted, when you’re the new kid in town, you don’t get the same opportunities as your peers who’ve been there longer.”

And so, “women settle for ‘hurry up’ jobs because there’s no time to lose,” says Joyner. In 2007, Kristen had a great hospital marketing job in Monterey, CA, and had just received a promotion when her husband got orders to relocate to Pensacola, FL. There, she took a step-down position in public relations just to avoid a gaping hole in her resume.

Kristin is one of the lucky ones. Military wives struggle harder than civilian counterparts to even find work. Small bases may lack for jobs, and nearby employers, weary of training replacements, will often discriminate against women they suspect have military connections. In many states, it’s illegal to ask if a spouse is in the military, but often the resume—lots of two-year stints, certain locales—is a giveaway. More than a fourth of military wives are unemployed. Those who do work earn 25 percent less, on average, than civilians in comparable jobs.

Jobs to Go
More than anything, military spouses need portable careers, says O’Grady. “Having a spouse in a stable career is directly related to satisfaction and reenlistment. We see it as a direct contributor to national security.”

As such, the Obama administration has made this a priority. The Military Spouse Employment Partnership (MSEP), launched in 2011, has recruited 160 partner companies, including Coca-Cola, FedEx and HP. They’ve hired 36,000 military spouses to date.

The Department of Defense and the NMFA have tackled another sore spot: professional licenses. Vocations like teaching, nursing, accounting, pharmacy and law should, in theory, be go-anywhere, but the reality is there’s a labyrinth of differing credentialing requirements, fees and lengthy waiting periods that prevent military spouses from easily finding work in a new state or taking their expertise abroad. “This has always been a very tough area for military spouses,” says Joyner. “We’re pleased to have made real progress.” Since 2011, 27 states have agreed to cut the red tape for military spouses by issuing temporary or provisional licenses.

United We Stand
Yes, military families get the whole package—medical, dental, retirement—but the HR packet doesn’t contain one of the lifestyle’s biggest benefits: community support. Janel’s husband, Ryan, will be overseas when she gives birth to their third child in August. Fellow wives have already offered to bring meals, take care of her older children, Madelyn, 3, and Bryson, 1, and even hold her hand in the delivery room.

Janel also credits the military’s loyalty to its own for her family-friendly work arrangement. When her husband got relocation orders, her supervisor at Booz Allen Hamilton, a service veteran, made the case to superiors that Janel could be successful as a part-time telecommuter. (Booz Allen is an MSEP partner. For a full list, visit msepjobs.militaryonesource.mil.) “This working arrangement allows me to focus on my family and yet still hold on to my career so I can later pursue advancement,” says Janel.

Beth Jackson, mom of Karl, 13, Ian, 11, and Thais, 6, remembers being shell-shocked when she found out her husband, Colin, a professor and career reservist, was being deployed to Afghanistan. He was 41 years old. “I thought he was too old,” she notes of the harrowing experience detailed in Holding On: A Memoir of a Wife During War. Military wives stepped up. They told her to put a jar of Hershey’s Kisses on the counter as “Daddy kisses” so Thais, then 4, could help herself to one per day, and advised Beth to fill a photo book that Colin could tuck into his battle uniform.

“When your spouse leaves, you’re trying to be mom and dad,” adds Kristin. Shared household duties now fall onto your shoulders—doing the taxes, getting the car inspected, walking the dog. New hurdles arise because kids may act out or regress, like when Thais began wetting the bed.

A Payoff Better than a Paycheck
But even with the struggle, military wives say it’s worth it to hang on to the job—which provides extra income as it mitigates the emotional strain of wait- ing while your husband’s in a war zone. “It’s good for me to have something stable outside of the military life,” Kristin says. “If I spent every moment wondering whether he was alive, he’d come home to a gray-haired wife.” 

Beth found her fear for Colin’s safety almost paralyzing. But work gave her the impetus to stay focused. She served as acting chief marketing officer for a client and also ran her own consulting firm, Sedna Marketing Partners. One day, while on break from leading a seminar, she got a text from a friend asking whether colin was okay. Four suicide bombers had attacked his installation in Kabul; for 48 hours, he was safe in a bunker unable to get word to her. She recalls finishing the seminar “feeling like I was wearing a mask.” (Word to well-meaning civilian friends: Do not text, “I’ve seen the news, is your husband OK?”) “I was so afraid of losing him,” she says. Yet survival instincts kicked in. “I was the breadwinner. My family would need my business if he never came back.” As for Timorah’s photography work, “my job gave me an outlet as it helped support our family,” she says. “Ideally, when he’s retired from the military, it’ll take the pressure off him to get a super-high-paying job because I’ll be there, contributing.”

Lessons from the Front
Ask for work phase-back.
If you relocate and are able to transfer your job, request a part-time transition period to deal with unpacking and resettling the kids.

Plan weekend outings.
When your husband’s away, the hours between Friday evening and Monday morning can feel twice as long as they are.

Apply for unemployment.
If you must leave a job due to military relocation, know that 45 states pay benefits.

Go to school.
The Post-9/11 GI Bill allows a military dad to transfer tuition dollars to his kids or spouse. And military spouses are eligible for in-state tuition.