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College Advisor Mom
by Mary Davis
Last month’s poll topic was one of great importance to women who are thinking about going back to college. “Whose support would you need in order to pursue an advanced education now?” is the question we asked you, and the majority of you said you would need as much support as possible to take on higher education at this point in your life.
That’s not surprising. We women are a social species. We thrive on interaction with others. That includes seeking support, and sometimes approval, from those who are important to us. While women are indeed strong and independent beings, it’s in our nature to reach out to others and to search for inclusivity in our lives.
The fact that the majority of our readers who took part in last month’s poll (46%) indicated that they would need the support of their current employer, family and university faculty and staff in order to pursue advanced learning is evidence for the desire of women to look for support. Forty percent said they would need the support of family. Eleven percent would require employer support, and only 3% wanted the support of university faculty and staff alone.
Of the individual choices offered, family support ranked highest. As a former college academic adviser, I know that family support is probably the most important support factor for adult students. If you’re seriously considering jumping into higher education, sit down and talk to your family. Let them know the kinds of changes they can expect and what you need from them.
A family is a team. As a mom, you’ve supported the members of your family tremendously. It’s okay for you to ask for their support in return! Let your family members know that you’ll need time away to attend class as well as quiet time to study. Give them fair warning that you’ll require them to pitch in around the house. Even the youngest members can help. If you’re married, inform your spouse that you’ll need help from them most of all. Everyone will need to pitch in and take on some additional responsibilities to make things run smoothly.
Don’t forget that, as a student, you’re continuing to contribute to your family. You’re setting a positive example for your children. As they watch you work hard to pursue your dreams, they’ll see the importance of dedication and sacrifice. They’ll learn what it takes to succeed as a student when they witness the time and effort you put into your studies. They’ll also begin to appreciate the need for women to gain self-fulfillment and that it’s necessary for moms to pursue their own activities outside the family unit.
Support is essential to being a successful student, but don’t sell yourself and your abilities short. Recall past successes and use those memories to push you forward. Just remember that communication is key when it comes to support. Those close to us can’t read our minds, and they won’t always remember to offer their assistance. Ask for help when you need it – whether it’s from your family, friends, employer or university staff.
