Matriculating Motherhood Never Ends

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By Toyi Ward

Awarded 2008 NJBIZ Top 50 Women in Business ,Toyi Ward is the principal of Toyi Ward Communications, LLC, a book marketing company for small press and self-published authors. Toyi is a freelance writer, author, and radio talk show host. She is married with two children. Her debut novel, PAR FOR THE CURSE is available at B&N, Amazon.com, and everywhere books are sold.

Matriculating Motherhood Never Ends

Posted on October 31, 2009

I'm fairly certain that I've already been to college-spring break trips and pulling all nighters. I'm going through the entire process again. This time it's causing my hair to gray. It's seems like only yesterday that I walked across the stage with my degree and ready to take the world by storm. Now, in what seems like fifteen minutes, my "baby" is heading to college. And I am graduating to the next level of motherhood.

The process is more pressure this time than last time. At least for me because I understand what's at stake. For him, not so much. "Everything will work out, Mommy," he says with strong conviction. I'm positive that it will because I'll see to it that it does. There are many decisions to make. They are his decisions...but I'll provide my input, of course. For example, I don't think anyone between the ages of 18 and 21 should go to college in Las Vegas. I never understood how those kids graduated.

I thought for sure he would head to the University of Miami in Coral Gables. He loves the canes and they have a strong academic institution. He considered it until Princeton caught his eye. I watched him as he gazed at the architecture and took in the other scholars walking on the historic Princeton campus. He had traded South Beach for eating clubs. He abandoned the Canes for Ivy League Intramurals. Go figure. We were pretty certain Princeton was his first choice until he went to Washington University in St. Louis. Then that became his first choice. Vanderbilt, Maryland, Virginia all had a stent at the top. Auburn offered a full scholarship for four years. He says he'll consider it- which is "totally random".

I'm trying to stay on the periphery and allow my son the experience to make a decision that he will have to live with for at least four years. It's the first decision of this adult life and the critical thinking skills he's developing in the process are important. As a mom, I don't want him to make a mistake. As a mom, I want to make the decision for him. As a mom, I'm going completely bonkers!!!! Imagining that this time next year my "baby" could be a Columbia student partying in the East Village or an Auburn student wishing he was on South Beach is scary. He's not the only one graduating next June. So am I. I'm getting another diploma in Motherhood- the matriculation that never ends.