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My original plan for blogging on Working Mother was to blog about pregnancy and the working mom, and those challenges that come along. Well, that was last June when I started and unfortunately, we lost that pregnancy. I blogged a bit more, but when I found out that I WAS pregnant again, suddenly, I didn't want to share that. We found out about the new baby in October and didn't tell anyone (save 1 or 2 close people "just in case") until almost Christmas. It was the longest I've ever kept a secret. And in keeping the news quiet, I fell out of the habit of even coming to the Working Mother website. Well, here I am at 25 weeks pregnant and I'm back!
I wanted to come back because I wanted to get others' thoughts on maternity leaves and how to help your work place that may not be very flexible when it comes to maternity leaves, become a place that will work with you, rather than against you as you look forward to a new chapter in your life.
I live in Montana and for a state that is very very progressive as far as employee rights, it is very very behind the times when it comes to family leaves. Bringing up the idea of a state-sponsored family leave bank (such as in California) brings blank stares or laughs. I brought up the idea of figuring out how to create a FMLA leave insurance program (in my mind it would work similar to short-term disability leave with employees and employers contributing, but would be able to be used for any FMLA protected leave) and one coworker said "but my husband has medical insurance." Basically, just not getting it.
As I get closer to the third trimester, I have to start thinking about my maternity leave in more concrete terms and I know that I need to decide what I want. I will have been in my present job for close to 3 years when my child is born (we won't talk about what might happen if I get put on bed rest or the baby should arrive early) and I will have almost 6 weeks of sick leave built up and only 3 weeks of vacation time. Even my 4 year old can tell you that won't cover a 12 week leave.
So, what's a new mother to do when looking at balancing the time spent at home to recover from the delivery, bond with her new baby and figure out how to make this new life work? My first baby went to daycare at 8 weeks old, which even at the time I knew was too early. She was a small baby and I don't think she was even 10 pounds when she started. However, I had on-site day care there and I was able to spend every lunch hour with her which made the transition much easier for me. As an 8 week old, she didn't care: she had a full tummy, a dry diaper and lots of people who loved to coo over her. I'm not as fortunate this time around as we do not have onsite day care and day cares near by are few and far between.
Currently, I'm putting together a list of my wants and needs and putting together a proposal that will allow me to stay home longer with my baby -- even beyond the 12 week FMLA protected leave -- but work at home part time during the majority of that time. Last time, as much as I wanted to stay home long with my little girl, I also remember how bored I got at home. Babies sleep, a lot. So, I'm also making a list of projects I can work on while on leave: little projects we've been talking about doing since the day I started, but just haven't had the chance because we are busy answering phones and emails on a timely basis (maybe too timely?). I have time on my manager's and VP's calendars in 2 weeks to discuss this with them. I've mentioned it to them each in passing, but I know that if I am going to make this work and set the precedence that it CAN be done, I need to state my case to them formally. If I'm successful, I hope to be able to spend 16 weeks total at home.
And now it's your turn: have you been able to work with your company to create a flexible way for you to take your maternity leave to allow you to take the time you wanted to take? What worked for you? What didn't work? If you could have a mulligan, what would you do differently?
