We spend our days with to-do lists and emails and other non-sensical pastimes and we’re always thinking of the next thing to do, that before you know it, the day is gone and we can’t remember what we ate for breakfast.  Sad really.  Because it is the memories we create today that shape our lives.  And if we are just blindly going along crossing things off to-do lists, what memory is that creating?

 

I have been guilty of this lifestyle for a very long time. Being a Type-A personality, my sense of accomplishment and yes, self-worth, comes from crossed-off to-do lists.  Going through my days like the Tasmanian devil and trying to accomplish everything on my calendar can be dizzying, but also defining too.   And while I am aware of the impact of my frenzied lifestyle, I seem to falter and struggle when it’s anything but this. 

 

For example, the other night my children both had sleepovers.  For the first time in a long time, I actually had an afternoon and evening free.  As I contemplated how to spend this time, I vacillated between watching a movie, to working on an upcoming workshop I’m to teach, to doing some retail-therapy.  While I was thrilled with myself that I was thinking of doing some fun and enjoyable activities, the underlying thought was “but I should be working or should be doing this or that.”  Why could I simply not enjoy the time as it was handed to me without  “shoulding” all over myself?

 

Turns out that I ended up doing a little of everything (well, except for the retail therapy, which could’ve been disastrous with all the sales going on right now!)  I read, I journaled, I watched a little TV, I talked with a friend, and yes, I did a little work.  And when it was all over, I realized how with each activity, how present I was with each.  While talking to my friend I was not berating myself for not working or cleaning up something.  I enjoyed the conversation and was glad to reconnect.  In fact, I actually remembered what I did that day the next day!  Now this is progress!

 

It’s nice to escape the pressures of daily life and really enjoy yourself in the present moment.  I might not be able to do this often, but I’m committed to making some time to do it more than I have.  Because the thing is, time is going to pass anyway and when my kids are older and ask me about my life, I’d kind of like to have an answer for them!