Do you ever look around at your family (extended family, like parents, siblings, cousins, etc.) and think, am I the only normal one?  I have decided that my family is just nuts.  I’m sure they think the same of me, but this is about me, and not them.  So there.

I come from your nomal Dysfunctional family (with a capital D), and I love them dearly, but they seriously get on my nerves.  My mom and I are pretty close, but we definitely have the normal mother/daughter dynamic going on.  My dad and I are getting closer.  The birth of my son has definitely brought him closer to me.  And my mom has helped with that relationship a lot (and they’re divorced).

I have two older brothers: one doesn’t talk to my mom, and the other probably shouldn’t.  He typically puts his foot in his mouth and says something wrong/hurtful — but then again, my mom probably does the same exact thing with him.

So why is it that family members just can’t get along?

Growing up, my mom was overbearing, critical, and demanding.  I’m sure there are more adjectives, but I just can’t think of any.  Bottom line though, I couldn’t wait to get away.  I moved away for school and never went back (even though I would love to, I’ve just made a home where I’m at now).  In these past few years, I’ve actually discovered that my mom is a person.  She’s gone through a lot of experiences and she’s made a lot of mistakes.  She might not fess up to all of them, but she admits that she makes them too. 

My brothers still see the woman who raised them.  And they still have gazillions of resentments and anger toward her.  Nothing I say or do will ever alter/adjust their opinion.  What I want to tell them is that our mom was 16 years old when she became a parent.  A time when it was unacceptable.  She had no parents of her own (losing them a few years earlier), so no one was there to help guide her or simply be there for her.  She did what she had to do to raise her kids.  she made mistakes.  But she’s still their mother.  She will still always love them, and always want whats best for them.  She will still want to know they’re ok.  Just because they don’t want her in their lives, doesn’t mean she can’t still have those motherly feelings. 

Perhaps I understand this now that I’m a parent.  I will make mistakes and I know that my son will resent me for things.  But I want to teach him that we should still try to get along.  You will have differences of opinions and resentments, but the bottom line is that we’re a family.  And we should accept each other — faults and all. 

I just wish my brothers could do that.

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