Today is the first day of school following the holiday break, and boy, is it quiet. My house is eerily, oddly quiet.  This kind of quiet happens twice a year around here.  The only other day of the year that it feels this kind of quiet here is the first full day of school.

As much as I long for these days, when they finally arrive, it is always bittersweet.  The peaceful solitude, amazingly increased productivity and my new found ability to have a telephone conversation without running in circles around the house trying to avoid needy interrupters are sweet.  No doubt about it.  The eery absence of laughter, bouncing balls, repeated door slamming and yes, even bickering is the bitter part.

As a mom who works from home, school is the closest thing I have to day care.  I returned to teaching after my little one started full day school.  We have never had formal child care arrangements.  My work day starts when my kids leave for school, stops when they return, and resumes for a few hours after they are all in bed.  For the most part, this arrangement works out very well.  However, when the kids have an extended vacation and mom doesn’t, this arrangement becomes far from foolproof.  In fact, any semblance of balance between work and home disappears.  I find myself attempting to meld them, separate them,stay up late, get up early, essentially attempting anything and everything I can to keep all the balls in the air.  I don’t typically have trouble juggling it all, but come vacation time, I toss them frantically in the air and hope they don’t come crashing down on my head !

When I find myself doing this frantic juggle, I also find myself feeling guilty.  Am I doing enough work?  Am I spending enough time with the kids?  Am I being productive enough ? Is “vacation” going to be any fun for anyone?  It’s these kind of days, when one of the balls smacks me squarely in the forehead, making me doubt my ability to do it all, that I long for the peace and quiet that the end of vacation brings.  The eerily odd quiet that I should stop and enjoy today, at least for a minute. After all, I waited two weeks for this, didn’t I ?