I have a confession I’ve never admitted to anyone. I’m a copycat. I don’t trust myself enough to make my own decisions or be who I am, so I imitate others. From work, to dieting to parenting, I study what others do before I make a move.

At work I’ll ask others what they think before making a decision. “How did she handle this situation in the past?” “What would you do?”

With dieting, I ask others how they are keeping the weight off, read success stories in magazines and study every diet book ever made to try to obtain the same level of success.

I often grade myself against other parents. Does Susie’s mom visit her for lunch weekly? Well, I must do the same. How did Johnny’s mom handle his talking back? Should I use that same discipline method?

I’ve made the decision to be true to myself. I am on a mission to find my voice, my passion and myself.

Several months ago I tried to go completely sugar-free because a friend of mine cut all sugar out of her diet. She looked amazing, had a ton of energy and I was envious at her willpower and resolve. I immediately went home and threw out anything containing sugar, including a brand-new loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread. I used lemon on my salad instead of my usual light salad dressing and I didn’t even use BBQ sauce on my chicken. The result? I gained eight pounds, was irritable and depressed. Cutting out sugar just made me want it more and I overindulged to compensate.

I had questioned my own healthy lifestyle choices to embrace what worked for someone else. I went back to what works for me, which is a balanced diet with exercise I love and my weight came back down to normal. I don’t label any food as off limits, everything is OK in moderation. And I live for my nightly “special treat.” Cutting out sugar may work for some, but for me, I believe in the 80/20 rule. As long as 80 percent of my diet is healthy, I cut myself slack for the other 20 percent. Lesson learned: Discover who you are and success will follow.

I need to apply this rule across other areas of my life as well. I’m challenging myself this month to find myself, trust myself and let my intuition guide me, rather than what others do.

What about you? Do you find yourself looking to others for guidance and approval? Or do you feel confidant in your true self? Have any of you been successful in finding your true voice? If so, please share how you did it.

Heathfully,

Stacy Cacciatore

Five a Day the Fun Way - http://fiveadaythefunway.com