Autism is a disorder that impacts the lives of millions of people on a personal level, including counselors like myself who research and treat its symptoms. According to the Centers for Disease Control, autism is now affecting 1 out of every 110 children.

My son, Joe Lee, was diagnosed with autism when he was 18 months old. By his third birthday, Joe Lee had trouble adjusting to any changes in his routine or plans. Going for a walk and returning on a different path meant he would have a total meltdown and the rest of his day would be difficult. At church, whenever an organ would play or the choir would sing, he would start crying and then launch into a full-fledged tantrum. If he could get his hands on a light switch, it was like living in a disco with all the lights flashing. The good news is that, through a great deal of intervention since his diagnosis, Joe Lee has made excellent progress on many of the issues that have affected him so severely. For example, he is now placed in a regular education classroom, has made progress in his speech, and reduced the number of behavioral issues seen at school and at home.

For my wife and I, parenting Joe Lee through meltdowns, therapy, school, and homework has been a stressful process. Most parents I work with are at a loss when they first learn that their child has autism. Mothers especially will experience feelings of loss due to the fact that children with autism have a difficult time forming and demonstrating emotional connections. They will have a sense of heartbreak when they think about the limits their child will face and the struggles they will endure. Many mothers dedicate the bulk of their time to raising a child with autism. But not every mother can do that. I am often in awe of the resiliency in the women who face such parenting roles head-on, while still managing to have fulfilling careers. With direction and encouragement, these moms can tackle whatever new challenges arise.

If you’re a mother who is just learning about autism and trying to figure out how to manage your world, here are some tips that have helped countless other parents:

• Don’t lose hope. Autism is a spectrum disorder, meaning that the severity of symptoms varies within a wide range. Even if your child is diagnosed with autism, there is hope for successful intervention.
• Take care of yourself and your personal wellness. Taking care of yourself may seem impossible, but you can’t effectively attend to your child’s needs if you are stretched beyond your capacity. Plan for breaks in your schedule and seek opportunities for respite. It’s important to establish a connection with a local network of parents who have children with autism. Such a network can serve as a support system for you and can help you connect with valuable resources.
• Seek help from a specialist. One of the most important things you can do is consult with a counselor or other professional who specializes in autism. Although autism has no cure, there are effective treatments that can help your child function more adaptively.
• Get trained on behavioral parenting strategies. For my son, we use applied behavioral analysis and sign language at home and school. Of course this means that we as his parents and teachers all have to use the same signs and interventions. It was especially important to have continuity between home and school. Consistency and a team approach are critical for children with autism.
• Understand existing research. Many theories have attempted to define the causes and treatment of autism, and it’s important to know which of these theories have been proven incorrect and which have been proven valid. For example, many parents are now afraid to vaccinate their children because a research study conducted in England suggested a link between vaccines and the development of autism. However, BMJ  has since labeled that study as an “elaborate fraud,” claiming the researcher falsified the data for all of the participants. Unfortunately, the damage was done and many parents are avoiding vaccinations as a result of this fraudulent study. At present, no research suggests a link exists between autism and vaccines.

As you and your child work through this uncertain time, it’s important to keep a sense of hope alive and to learn as much as possible about the disorder and effective treatments. You will be your child’s strongest advocate throughout his or her life, so you should educate yourself about effective intervention strategies, promising research, and your child’s rights in the educational system. Learn as much as you can and be sure to critically evaluate any information you receive.

Dr. Carl J. Sheperis is the director of doctoral programs in the School of Counseling and Social Service at Walden University. A practicing counselor and managing partner of Behavioral Services, LLC, he specializes in autism and early childhood development.

Photo: The Sherperis family