Sure, you dread the inevitable sex chat with your child. But it’s crucial to have it sooner instead of later. (Wouldn’t you rather she have accurate info than mixed-up “facts” from clueless classmates?) Tammy Tucker, DO, a family practice physician in Bentonville, AR, offers how-to tips.

Time it right. Speak with your child when she’s old enough to understand basic concepts of physiology— usually around age 8. Set aside uninterrupted time to chat, so you’re not competing with an episode of Good Luck, Charlie. It will help if both she and you are in a good mood.

Be the grown-up. Even if you’re squirming on the inside (totally normal), take a deep, calming breath to make The Talk comfortable for both of you. Showing embarrassment will make things more awkward and send mixed messages about a natural human process. And hang on to your composure when your kid exclaims, “Ew, is that what you and Daddy do?!”

Think age-appropriate. Try to make The Talk brief. You don’t have to offer a detailed description of the physiology of intercourse. But be prepared to answer your child’s questions honestly. Finally, leave the discussion open-ended so she feels comfortable coming to you for info in the future.