Work has been intense, and all you want to do is snuggle up with your 4-year-old and read Where the Wild Things Are. Except he’s running around like one of the Wild Things—as usual. And his preschool teacher can’t get him to sit still either. Are most little kids this hyper? “Preschoolers still retain some of the exuberance of two-year-olds,” says behavioral pediatrician Harlan Gephart, MD, “but by age four, they should be much more controlled and quieted down.” If you feel your child’s behavior isn’t what it should be, assess him in different settings. “The descriptions of behaviors in two scenarios—for example, home and school—have to gel,” explains Dr. Gephart, a specialist in ADHD. If at school he’s disorderly, can’t adhere to nap or quiet time and struggles with routines, that’s a red flag, Dr. Gephart says. If he also won’t follow any rules at home and can’t calm down for dinner and bath, you may want to arrange for an ADHD screening—even at this age. His behavior may fall in the normal range, but if he needs accommodations or treatment, you want to know now. Left untreated, a child with ADHD may be in for a life of academic and social struggles, says Dr. Gephart. “The earlier you detect this condition, the better you can address his special needs, so he grows up with confidence and healthy self-esteem.”

Behavior Modification

Dr. Harlan Gephart offers these tips to help hyperactive kids follow rules:

Use reward systems. Reward good behavior (offer extra playtime afterward) and set consequences for bad behavior (take away the toy he threw across the room).

Try 1-2-3 magic. When he’s doing something inappropriate, give the three-strikes-and-you’re-out notice. After two warnings, you intervene with a penalty like a time-out.

Operate a token economy. Fill a jar with blue poker chips for positive behavior and red chips for negative behavior. Every time he does something nice, he gets a blue chip, which he can cash in for privileges.