Training horses is similar to raising children. You start with a young horse or child and teach them to do things.

I overlap how I treat horses and kids (laughs). Some horses do their jobs; others you must encourage to go faster. It’s like when you coach your child to eat green veggies or go to bed on time.

Like kids, horses have unique quirks. Some eat fast and you remind them to chew. Others daydream while they eat.

Horses use nonverbal cues. Just like when your child gives you a certain look and you know they’re tired.

My grandfather raced horses; my dad and mom did it as part-time pros. I won my first race at 21. I started as a groom, then I trained horses to race.

I married Andy in 1996—the year after I graduated from college. That year we opened our own business: I trained the horses; he raced them. Like any small business it was a risk and a leap of faith, but it worked out for us.

When my kids, TJ and Olivia, were younger, I kept a smaller stable to balance my work with their needs. Now I try to do most of my work before they get home from school.

Andy and I are competitive people. We love horses, but this is also a business for us. We know that we need to win races to survive.

There’s nothing like taking a young horse that never wore a harness to winning a race. It’s like watching your child walk for the first time, then seeing them graduate from college. You feel you guided them in the right direction.

“I wish Mommy didn’t have to work so much,” my daughter said recently. She also said, “I’m so proud of you.”

I can’t be at every field trip during the year but try to make it to at least one. My kids understand that horses need attention 24/7 and 365 days a year, even if I’m sick.

Sometimes work conflicts with my kids’ needs. My heart sank when I found out that my daughter’s cheerleading competition was the same day we had a big race. I told my daughter that I could see her perform but that I couldn’t stay for the awards.

Sometimes I worry about whether I’m making the right decision. But last Saturday I felt I was in both places I needed to be. When my daughter called to say they’d placed first, I could hear everyone cheering. I did my work, and I saw her perform. I had that joy.

My tips for happy kids (& horses)

Create routines
Children and horses both like schedules. If they know what to expect, things run better. So eat at regular times.

Offer choices
Ask, “Do you want cereal or toast?” If you say, “What do you want to eat?” they’ll say, “Pancakes,” and you’ll realize you’re out.

Learn patience
It’s the best way to get cooperation. Don’t push them too much before they’re ready. Listen to their cues.

Give 100%
When you go all out, you go to bed knowing you did your best. You don’t second-guess. And things seem to work out.