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It’s a New Year, and time to get organized in your blended family. You may have a spouse, kids who live in your house, and step kids who visit, and other relatives who visit occasionally. It can get pretty complicated in blended and stepfamilies homes this time of year.
Family Calendar
Purchase a calendar with several lines under each day. Assign a different color marker to each child. (This includes biological kids living in the house and step kids that visit.) We started assigning colors based on school colors, since several of our kids are in college.
Print out the school schedules and mark each child’s individual school holidays, spring break, exam schedules, sporting events, and any other events you are aware of at this time. Being able to see the different school schedules, especially upcoming spring breaks, will allow you to start making plans for your various children’s time off.
Go through the calendar and mark everyone’s birthday. This includes children, parents, and any other relatives you want to honor on their birthday. Anniversaries or other special events can also be marked at this time.
Record visitation schedules. It’s best to plan as far in advance. Our family plans from January to June, and in the spring negotiate summer schedules and plan June-December. The winter holidays are regulated by the separation agreement, so there’s not much discussion about who gets the kids on those days.
Individual Calendars
Give children who don’t have access to the family calendar their own individual calendar with visitation schedules clearly marked. All ages, from younger kids to teenagers, want to know which weekend they will be spending at mom’s, and which weekends at dad’s house- so they can make plans. Make sure these calendars are pocket sized- small enough to carry in a purse or wallet.
Weekly Calendar
Yes- by now you can tell that I’m pretty organized. You may not need a weekly calendar, but our family can’t function without one. Each weekend, I print a calendar for the next week. The weekly calendar helps us make sure no one is left at school after a late practice, and we don’t miss any of our kid’s special events. We even include the meals for each night (and how many will be eating.)
Grocery/Toiletries List
We have a weekly grocery store and Wal-Mart/Target run. Everyone in the family is responsible for recording their items. If you need it-, write it down. If it’s not on the list, you have to wait until next week. This also teaches your children to plan ahead and be responsible for school assignments and their personal toiletries. How many times have you had a timid voice ask you, at 9pm at night, if you have chips and dip for the party they have at school tomorrow morning, or light green poster paper for the project that is due tomorrow?
Laundry
Do you have trouble sorting the clothes when you have multiple kids the same ages/sizes/gender in the house? Try these tips:
- Purchase different brands of clothes for different kids. For instance, purchase only one brand of sports socks for your son. When you step son visits, and you wash his socks- his socks are the ones that are different brand.
- Mark all shirts on the back tag with their first initial.
- Use separate laundry baskets for each child. When their laundry is finished, each child can pick up their basket and put their clothes away. If they forget, and wonder where their clothes are- send them to the laundry room!
Chore chart
Assign chores for all kids, those who live in the house fulltime, and those who visit. For younger children- a chore chart makes it easier for them to remember their assigned chores. Even visiting children want to feel part of the family. Assign chores such as washing the dishes, or setting the table to the child that is visiting for the weekend, spring break, or longer summer visits. If a visit is longer than a weekend, each child should be given more chores. No family member in your blended family should be treated as a visitor.
Getting organized at the beginning of the year will save you hours of time later on in the year. Planning vacations, birthday celebrations and other special events are easier when the calendar is clearly marked. Every child in your stepfamily, whether living their full time or visits feels a part of the family when they see their school schedule, birthday and other special events marked on the family calendar.
Shirley Cress Dudley is a licensed professional counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling, and a master’s degree in Education. She is the founder of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center and author of Blended Family Advice. Shirley has a passion for helping blended and step families grow strong and be successful. Sign up for our Free newsletter and receive a Free Report- Top Ten Worst Mistakes You Can Make in Your Blended Family,
http://www.TheBlendedandStepFamilyResourceCenter.com
