He sends the kids to school with lunches sans key ingredients–like  anything resembling protein—and calmly heads to the office… on time. Right before bed, he riles them up with no-holds-barred wrestling bouts. And while you’re rushing around all weekend cleaning, shopping, emailing, multitasking, he’s reading the paper, watching the game, playing airplane with the baby. You know, chilling. Admit it: Don’t you sometimes wish your kids’ dad would act more like, well, a mom?

What we sometimes forget is that those annoying differences in life and parenting styles are important not only to kid development but also to adult sanity. Some of the best parent-partners are the yin to each other’s yang. “They help their kids see there’s more than one way to solve a problem or approach the world,” says Kyle Pruett, MD, clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University and co-author of Partnership Parenting. Take the ways moms and dads hold babies. Moms often cradle their little ones facing themselves, under their chins. nonverbal message: I’m keeping you loved and safe.

“Dads, on the other hand, tend to pick up their babies in playful, unpredictable ways and face them out toward the world,” explains Dr. Pruett. The meaning: this is the world you’re entering; I’ll prepare you for it. This stay-safe vs. face-the-world concept sometimes mirrors women’s and men’s workplace style, too.

Here are 10 more things working dads know best. Memo to moms: You might want to take a few notes.

No. 1
A little “rough play” is A-OK. Many moms are a touch squeamish about this, but most dads instinctively realize that regular rough-and-tumble time is part of Parenting 101. Dads are more apt to get outside and throw the ball around or let their little ones climb them like a jungle gym. “These are great, and absolutely essential, ways to help children—boys and girls—expend energy and practice motor skills,” says family psychologist Fran Walfish, PsyD, author of The Self-Aware Parent. Maybe it’s time for us to step away from the monkey bars, bite the bullet about grass-stained knees and understand that when kids roughhouse within safe limits, they experience a sense of freedom and learn what they’re capable of. Which leads us to no. 2.

No. 2
Risk-taking can be healthy. Both at home and at work, guys are good at taking calculated risks. And they’re fine when their kids do the same. “We may cringe a bit on the inside when we watch our child hang from the arm of the sofa, but what we want our kids to be is bold,” says dad Adam Cohen, a New York City marketing director and blogger at dadarocks.com. The “calculated” part of the risk: “If our kids fall, we dads know we can patch them up or even catch them as they fall.” Then there’s the office: “Men tend to raise their hands for a promotion or project, even if they only have 10 percent of the requirements,” says Caroline Ceniza-Levine, a career coach at SixFigureStart in New York City. “Many of my women clients, however, have 90 percent of the requirements but fret about the other 10 percent.” Consider this your invitation to borrow some guy gumption.

No. 3
Taking time off with the kids is a given. “Working dads don’t stress as much about this as working moms—or look for permission on child care issues. They just matter-of-factly take the time they need and make sure they get their work done,” says Brad Harrington, executive director of the Boston College Center for Work & Family, who spearheaded The New Dad, a recent study of more than 900 working fathers. Ceniza-Levine agrees: “If dads need to be out of the office for a school event, they don’t feel guilty or defend their choice; they’re just out for an appointment.”

No. 4
Competition can be cool. As natural peacekeepers, moms want family members to feel good about their accomplishments. Dads are more often in the “not everyone deserves a trophy” camp. “I foster a spirit of ‘friendly competition’ in games with the kids, and encourage them to keep score, celebrate wins and deal with losses in a gracious and sportsmanlike manner,” says Harry Weiner, a dad of two and co-founder of the On-Ramps executive recruiting firm in New York City. The dad lesson here: Some healthy rivalry encourages kids to work harder and learn to face life’s disappointments (like an unlucky hand in Uno!).

No. 5
Asking for a raise is part of the game. Men may be nervous about asking for money, but they fake it really well—and they do it. So, mom, put on your best game face and go for that raise. If all else fails, think of the money as something that benefits your kids. Tell yourself: “My child needs this money for math tutoring,” suggests Dr. Walfish. “Most working moms will walk through fire for their kids, so use this tendency to your advantage.”

No. 6
Multitasking isn’t always good. Dads basically (and often annoyingly) focus on one task at a time, like fixing a bike or watching the big game. Moms answer work emails, help with homework and start dinner—all at once. A smart way to work? Not so much. New research shows moms multitask 10 more hours a week than dads, and they feel more stressed about it when they do. The best antidote to multitasking? Delegate more chores to your spouse!

No. 7
Time for yourself is essential. Working dads often protect their “me time” fiercely, whether that means going to the gym or reading on the couch for a decent chunk of time. Working moms? You know the answer. Other people’s needs always come first, even though we know that taking a little time out is critical for energy to draw from when your kids, partner or friends need you later on. You know what to do: Put massages, yoga classes—whatever fuels you—on your calendar in ink.

No. 8
Don’t stew in it.  Whether they flub a work meeting or lose patience with their child, moms tend to rehash goof-ups—over and over. Leading to …stress and guilt. Dads, partly due to their singleminded focus, are more apt to quickly recap mistakes, then move on to the next task. Maybe this explains his TV channel surfing?

No.9
Kids need to explore—and even get lost sometimes. You get nervous when hubby lets your tot wander a ways at the playground. But what he’s unconsciously doing is encouraging your child’s curiosity and independence, explains Dr. Pruett. “Most dads will say, ‘He’s fine, he’s exploring,’ and mean it. Of course, good dads are also keeping a close eye out to help when needed.”

No. 10
Lunchboxes and outfits and hair and…don’t have to be perfect.  We want to send our kids to school with super-healthy lunches and make super-balanced dinners. That’s good. And we’re experts at getting their socks to match their shirts to match their pants. But maybe we need to lighten up sometimes. “I hear dads say it’s more important to feed the kids on time, maybe give them a little junk food, than to feed them perfectly. Or that kids should sleep in their clothes if they fall asleep that way,” says Dr. Pruett. “Dads get the job done, too. They’re just more flexible about how it gets done.” Flexibility— now there’s a concept!

Still, Moms Rule
To be fair, we know there are scores of things Mother knows best. Here, a sampling. (Maybe he’ll read this.)

1. Yes, a trip to the park involves logistics: You do need sunscreen, a hat, a snack, water bottles…

2. If I say that shirt doesn’t go with those pants (either yours or our kid’s), trust me.

3. Don’t check sports scores while your child tells you how her day went.

4. Enter it in the family calendar. And check the calendar before agreeing to a playdate—please!

6. Put it back where you found it. I’m the reason our family stays organized.

7. If my mom instinct says our kid is getting sick, he is. You’ll know tomorrow.

8. Sorry, but a leftover hot dog bun and beef jerky are not a real lunch.

9. In the long run, that work meeting is way less important than chaperoning the field trip.

10. A clean house is sexy. Especially if I’m not the one who cleaned. ’Nuf said.