Here’s a story I share with new working dads: When our daughter, Gwendolyn, was born in 2003, I negotiated to leave work twice a week at 5 p.m. to pick her up from child care. A few years in, a new boss arrived who seemed desperate to break that deal but couldn’t do it outright. Instead, he lectured me that work was more important than family because “work supports our family.” He extolled his last job, where he’d go on the road for two weeks or more, leaving his working wife to take care of the kids on her own. Seeing where this was leading, I kept my mouth shut and in a few months found another job where flexibility ruled.

These days, the biggest change I’ve experienced as a working father has been how I define success. Equally important as salary and meaningful work is the ability to race out twice a week at 5 p.m. to pick up two kids who, more often than not, run at me with dueling playdate requests, gripping artwork thick with paint that will never dry. Of course, it’s usually right at that moment that my cell phone will ring with a work call (or the latest Mets score—come on, I’m only human!). Just being able to pull it all off defines success for me.

In Lessons from Working Dads, my brothers in working dad-dom share tips they’ve learned while juggling career and home demands. Here’s one for my wife: That late-night APBA game, that gangster movie you hate? That’s how I decompress to have the energy to do it all again tomorrow. To all working moms, I say: Find something fun you like and take the time to do it. really, it’s okay. We know you work hard. I promise, if you take a break, we’ll all be happier for it.

Brett Sonnenschein, Working Dad & Husband
Tweet me: @BrSonnenschein