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My husband was out of town a few weekends ago weekend, and I quickly learned that I had a major appreciation for mothers who are good at planning ahead fun activities to do with their children. I did make an attempt to set up some play dates, but nothing seemed to work out and before I knew it, I woke up Saturday morning thinking to myself that we had two full days here and I needed to come up with some entertaining activities to keep my little energizer bunny busy.
My son, Declan is at the age (and this may never change) where he is constantly on the go. And I am not even close to exaggerating. He literally never stops moving. And like most kids his age, he gets bored easily. Very easily.
That particular morning Declan was being especially mischievous. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate some naughtiness (in fact, I kind of like naughty boys….they are more fun and keep you on your toes!), but he was totally bullying our dog, Luca. He was constantly jumping on her back, pulling up on her to get onto the couch, throwing his sippy cup at her, and tempting her with any food item he got his hands on. We had a few “time-outs” here and there, but when he started to put himself in time-out, while giggling and coaxing Luca to come with him, well…we’ll just say that quickly defeated the purpose.
So the morning started out early because Declan decided to spring out of bed at 5:15 a.m. Super sweet of him – thanks buddy! After I literally beer bonged my coffee, I began to whip up some blueberry pancakes (our favorite), while quickly perusing my laptop to figure out something fun to do that day. By 6 a.m., Declan had already managed to get all his toys out of the bin, dismantle his train set, and spit milk all over the carpet in an attempt to impress Luca. I hadn’t showered and was pretty sure I wasn’t going to get one. I remember taking a deep breath really wishing I would have planned ahead more for the weekend because there was no way we were going to stay in the house all day with this madness. And then it dawned on me…I totally used to be the kind of person that would have had the weekend all planned. So…what happened?
Having a child is what happened.
Before Declan, I was extremely organized and on top of everything. This included always remembering everyone’s birthday (except for my mom’s in 2005, along with both of my sisters, and yes…we are still sooo sorry about this mom!). I used to call my hair stylist to make hair appointment more than 24 hours in advance, and I usually thought about the weekend plans before Friday at 3 p.m. The weird thing is that I am still really organized when it comes to certain things…like my work, managing our finances, keeping on doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping, etc, which I guess are the things that require a certain level of organization. I think I have just become less organized in the facets of my life that surround my role as a mother. But I think that is okay.
Having Declan changed my world in a matter of moments, and this unpredictable bundle of joy threw my systematic tendencies right out the door. I have come to understand, and maybe more importantly, appreciate that it is utterly impossible to organize every aspect of our life with Declan. And…as a mother, I don’t want to organize everything. It’s so fun watching him change everyday and I need to allow us both the freedom to evolve into whatever that may be.
So, in my ”on the fly” approach to our weekend, I was still able to find some really fun things for Declan and I to do together, which included the library (where he insisted on running around chatting while people were trying to study), the coolest indoor park (where I got to be a kid again and chase Declan around for over an hour through tunnels and tubes), grocery shopping (which included yummy sample treats and grocery cart roller coaster rides…don’t ask), and sledding at Grandpa and Grandma’s (where he finally said Grandma to her face – aka, Bea!) We had a blast, and the best part was that we didn’t need an extravagant agenda to do so.
The reality of it is that I have a busy life as a working mother, and that is perfectly okay. Tony and I always manage to find news ways to have fun as a family, and do our very best to keep Declan entertained, challenged, and busy interacting with his friends. I may not always have a play-date set up every weekend. Or, the time to take him to every ECFE class or to the trendy toddler “places to go” on a regular basis. But I will say that Declan is and will always be loved, and isn’t that the most important part?
Life is about balance, and while yes, at times I wished I planned ahead a little more, I can only do the best I can. And the rest is left to embracing spontaneity.
