Although I've been passionate and active in work-life issues for a couple of decades, the past half-dozen years or so have been a real eye opener for me regarding eldercare.

Work-life issues are complex and personal. Individuals must weigh and balance all sides of each issue before determining what to do. That said, a key participant in this process should be an employee's manager who, hopefully, is sensitive to an individual's circumstances. Each manager (and his/her company) must be an objective, but compassionate supporter who empowers the employee to make the right decision for both the individual and the company.

When I was a manager for the first time, I was a few years older than most of my employees. I was married and already a parent. What a voice of experience I was! I understood how the father-to-be is never sensitive enough to the needs of the mother-to-be; I understood the issues of childcare; and I understood the issues faced by a working mother. I also had the moxie to talk to my employees about it, and I believe I helped most of them work through their own issues.

I think it's fair to say that most managers have experienced being a parent and raising children, or know someone in their life who has. So, while it doesn’t happen as often as I believe it should, with a bit of empathy on the part of the manager, a relevant work-life discussion is possible and productive. But, as life spans grow,, the eldercare challenge is new terrain to society in an already complex work-life environment. And, it affects more than just working parents.

A manager might have young, healthy parents, while his/her employee may have serious eldercare issues. So, the logical manager-employee experiential pattern may not exist here. And, if a manager isn't aware of or sensitive to an employee's challenge, then the employee might not get the empathy and support necessary for his/her decision making process.

Let me tell you, eldercare can be far more emotionally challenging than parenting. Special needs children aside, for the most part, your kids will grow up and grow out of most situations. But, eldercare can be a short-term challenge that affects the employee for a limited period of time, or it can be a slow, extended, agonizing decline that affects an employee's focus, productivity, personal finances, and much more.

Of course, eldercare issues require all the support that family and friends can muster. But, let’s not forget about the managers, too.

Commentary by Jon Prial, co-chair of IBM's Work-Life Integration Counci.

Jon Prial is VP, Sales Enablement and Training for IBM's Software Group. He is co-chair of IBM's Work-Life Integration Council and is an active mentor, both inside and outside of IBM. He blogs externally on work-life issues at http://balancedbits.com. The views expressed are Jon's and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinion.