Last night I had dinner with the most fabulous ladies you could meet - I am lucky. They are all amazing in their own way and I look forward to seeing them and just listening. That's me among these ladies, I listen alot and just take it in and I love that...they all seem much more interesting than me, or maybe I just am not loud enough. But last night I had been so looking forward to seeing these ladies and when I finally did I wasn't really there - I was checking my phone, worrying about the activities at home, wondering why our daycare director mysteriously left and loathing the outfit I was wearing. Then it was over, as fast as it started it was over...my few hours of freedom and I wasn't even there for them. When did this happen, how in the world did I become absent from my own life at times, why can I no longer be where I am at that moment?? Going right from work out to dinner created mayhem at home, the boys went to bed late, I couldn't wind down and we forgot replacement clothes for daycare today which caused two morning trips. 

I found myself saying, it was more trouble than it was worth - but that's not true, not true at all. Having friends outside of your marriage, your kids and anything else that distracts you is so important and worth the trouble and effort it takes to keep them. If friendship were easy everyone would be my friend, but it's not and like everything in life as we get older you have to work for what matters and friends really matter to me. Without my friends I would have no idea what was happening in the world around me - they educate me on social issues, politics, fashion and much more - without them I am not sure who I'd be today - I certainly would have no taste in music and might still be wearing scrunchies and a flannel shirt.  I'll keep working to make time for my friends and not rely on their "status" updates to keep me posted on their lives.