A new study finds that teens aren’t sexting nearly as much as has been reported in the press. But they are texting—and sometimes sexting. So you still need to talk texting with your child.

10. Teens are the masters of texting. The latest Nielsen survey shows that kids ages 13 to 17 each send or receive on average an amazing 3,417 messages a month! That’s seven messages per waking hour!
 
9. They text, they don’t talk. While the amount of time they’re texting has skyrocketed, the amount they’re using their cell phone to talk has dropped significantly. In fact, voice usage has declined from an average of 685 minutes to 572 minutes every three months. Why? Teens cite texting as faster, easier, and—duh!—more fun.

8. Most teen texting is innocent. A new study in the journal Pediatrics found that sexting—which is now considered texting or posting sexually suggestive or sexually explicit messages—isn’t nearly as common as once thought. A few years ago, a study claimed that 20 percent of teens had sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves. The latest data shows just 2.5 percent of youth ages 10 to 17 have been involved with sexting, either sending or receiving—in most cases as a prank or with an intimate partner.

7. Sexting is a no-no. Prank or not, sending sexually explicit images by phone is a bad, bad idea. So it’s key to talk with your child about proper phone usage from the first minute he has the technology in his hand. “Kids need to understand that having a cell phone is a privilege, and that there are rules and limits that go along with it,” says Larry Magid, co-director of connectsafely.org  and founder of safeteens.com.  “Talk openly about what sexting is and why you should never do it. For starters, it’s illegal! Let them know that sending nude images amounts to child pornography and there are severe consequences for that. In addition, explain that digital images stick around forever.”
 
6. Your kid should ask this before doing that. Many experts recommend telling a teen that before they send an image, they should always ask themselves if it’s something they’d be comfortable showing their grandmother, their teacher or a future boss. If the answer is no, don’t send it!

5. Your kid should check in. Emphasize that your teen should always come to you if feeling pressured from anyone to send images of herself that make her feel uncomfortable. “You don’t need to moralize about sexting—just explain the pragmatic dangers,” says Magid. “Talk about how phones get lost or pictures are accidentally forwarded to people they aren’t meant for.”
 
4. You should keep talking. You can’t just have this conversation once and never again. Revisit safe texting rules every so often, especially if your teen suddenly becomes involved in a new romantic relationship. Many sexting incidents occur between young boyfriends and girlfriends who mistakenly think this is an acceptable way to show their affection.

3. What to do if… What if you find out your teen has sent or received something that constitutes sexting? Proceed with caution. “Remember, this can put you in legal jeopardy, so delete the images right away and make sure your teen hasn’t forwarded them,” says Magid. “If he has, get them deleted from wherever they went.” That might mean getting another teen’s parent involved. If your child is being victimized or keeps receiving inappropriate messages, you may need to contact the police. (For more sexting advice, go to connectsafely.org or safeteens.com.)

2. You have to keep monitoring. Sexting or not: “texting is done by all teenagers,” says Magid. “It’s how they communicate. And most kids can balance it with the rest of their lives. But you want to keep an eye out. If your child isn’t finishing homework, if she’s anti-social except via the phone or computer, or if she seems to be texting all night, you need to talk and find a way to curb it.” There’s plenty of technology out there to help you do just that, but, adds Magid, “it’s key to help your teenager develop critical thinking skills rather than using blocking software.” If your teen still can’t get her texting under control with your help, consider either signing up for a limited plan that shuts down the phone after she’s texted too much in one day, or simply take away the phone completely.

1. Rules and values are key. Even if your teen isn’t obsessed with texting, it’s still important to consistently go over your family rules and values when it comes to the cell phone, including no texting while driving. And, don’t forget to talk money! “While it’s smart to have an all-you-can-text-plan, teens need to understand that technology isn’t free!” says Magid. If your teen does have a text limit, consider setting it up that he has to pay for any overage. That just may get him to watch his texting ways!