Your child has given the cello his best shot but says he hates it; says his coach always yells at him and he wants to quit the team; says her math class is too hard and she wants to be in the less-accelerated class. How to know when to call it a day.

1. Stressful. There is a marked, uncharacteristic and troubling change in your child’s behavior (acts stressed, has sleep problems, is irritable, loses appetite, has headaches or stomachaches) that you can correlate to the activity.

2. Joyless. Your child derives no satisfaction or enjoyment from a formerly much-loved sport or activity despite the effort.

3. Beyond abilities. Despite your child’s efforts, the activity is too difficult for his current abilities.

4. Poor coach. The coach (or teacher) is not giving your child enough playing time, yells way too much, is far too competitive, pushes a win-at-any-cost philosophy or clearly treats your child unfairly.

5. Given his best shot. Your child has tried his hardest, but things aren’t improving. His frustrations and desire to quit continue.

If your child’s experience meets any of these criteria, it’s probably best to move on, but let him know you appreciate that he tried his hardest.