It’s rough to get called to school because your kid threw spitballs at the teacher or whacked a classmate—and worse if you’re at work. Here’s how to prevent trips to the principal.

Be specific.
Discuss with your child exactly what behavior was unacceptable to his teacher and why. Then offer precise strategies for acting more appropriately. If he hit another child, for instance, ask him to use his words or to tell the teacher if he feels words alone won’t fix the problem.

Join forces.
talk with his teacher about strategies that can be used both at school and at home to improve your child’s behavior. Share your own effective methods—like having him take several deep breaths when angry—to try in the classroom. Consistent discipline tactics get better results.

Provide incentive.
Mark an empty glass jar two inches from the bottom. Anytime your child shows that he can behave appropriately, put a marble or rock in the jar. When the marbles reach the mark, he gets a reward he really wants, like a bike ride with mom or a trip for ice cream with Dad.

Source: Ann Densmore, EdD, author of Your Successful Preschooler