This two-time Emmy-winning actress walks the red carpet—and runs a small army.

Do you think Modern Family has helped redefine opinions on what a family should look like?
I think our show has helped bridge a lot of issues, because you’re seeing it through a variety of viewpoints—the gay couple adopting a kid, the much-younger Latina second wife. Hopefully laughing along with these characters and getting different perspectives has given viewers a way into issues they may have been uncomfortable with.

You play Claire, a married mom of three kids—just like you are in real life. What has Claire taught you about motherhood?
That being your kids’ best friend is not always the best parenting choice. It’s not about everybody being happy all the time. It’s about setting limits. In my house that makes my kids very unhappy, like tantrums-on-the-ground-twice-a-day unhappy. But the limits are set.

Claire never seems to have a dull day of parenting. Does art ever imitate life on the show?
In one episode, my on-screen son has an allergic reaction to soy bacon. My oldest real-life son, Oliver, had a severe anaphylactic reaction to bee stings and a variety of nuts when he was—get ready for it—stung by a bee while eating peanut butter. So I got involved with the Raise Your hand for Anaphylaxis Awareness campaign to promote understanding and get this mouthful of a word into everybody’s vocabulary. You can get educated on the signs and symptoms at anaphylaxis101.com.

So you had Oliver, now 6, and then along came twins John and Gustav in 2009. How was the transition from one to three?
I think going from zero to one was hardest because of the mental difference between all of your time being your own to there being a living being you now have to consider first. That mental change doesn’t ever go away. But three is complicated in that it’s like running a small army.

You have a demanding, high-profile career. Did you adjust your work life plan as your family grew?
At first I didn’t. My schedule at Modern Family is fantastic, so I didn’t have to give up much. But I’m discovering that my kids now notice more when I’m gone, that they want more time and attention. So I shorten trips to a bare minimum or just don’t go at all.

Has your husband, Scott Phillips, taken on more family responsibility?
He writes software, so he has an office in our house. Essentially he’s always there for the kids, even when he’s off-duty and the door is closed and he’s working. He’s definitely the element of consistency our children need. He is amazing!

Julie’s twin tips
Get in sync. When they’re born, do your best to keep your twins on the same schedule. It can be tough, but otherwise you’ll never sleep.
Lower your expectations. You’re doing double of everything, so give yourself some leeway. Your kids don’t have to always be in the freshest, newest outfits.
Head them off at the pass. Set up clear boundaries when your twins are young, before they’re old enough to defy you and tag-team you.
Don’t listen to other people’s tips. Kids are all so different, it’s important to figure out what works for you. That’s my final tip!