Our hearts go out to everyone in Boston affected by the heinous Marathon bombing, and we send our love and thoughts. 

Here, from our friend and wonderful parenting expert Michele Borba, EdD, are talking tips for discussing this and any frightening and terrible event with your children.

—Turn off the TV and other media reporting about the tragedy when your children are present. The images can have a negative impact no matter where you live.

—Talk to your child tonight. Open with: “What have you heard?” Kids need the correct facts. You, not their peers, are their best source. They also need to know it's okay to share feelings, that it’s normal to be upset. Offer information on the shooting in small doses, and watch your child’s response. Kids need time to process information. Be sure to end with, “I’m here for any questions any time.”

—Be calm as you offer age appropriate information. Don’t give more information than a child is ready to hear. More important, let your child know you’re there to listen. Don’t expect to help allay his anxiety unless you keep your own in check. Kids are calmer if we are calmer.

—Plan what you’re going to say about the tragedy to boost your confidence and calmness. It’s okay to say, “I don't know," or “Good question, let me find out.”

—Don’t think because a child isn’t talking about the event that he didn't hear about it. Open with, “What have you heard?”

—Find proactive ways to allay fears about the violence. Pray, draw, write letters to the victims and their families—as a family. This is a good way to curb children’s anxiety.

—Stick to your family routines, which are soothing in stressful times and help kids.

—Draw your child’s attention to the heroism amid the tragedy—the actions by regular citizens, the police, doctors and so on—so he can see goodness in the heartbreak.

—Ask your teenager, “What are your friends saying?” to start a conversation. Don’t assume your teen isn’t affected. Ignite a teen’s sense of social justice: “What can we do about this?”

—Watch sensitive kids or those who’ve experienced recent trauma. You never know how a child of any age will respond. Be there!

Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert and author on children, teens, parenting, bullying and moral development. Her work aims to help strengthen children’s character and resilience, build strong families, create compassionate and just school cultures, and reduce peer cruelty. Her practical, research-based advice is culled from a career of working with more than one million parents and educators worldwide.