Anne Oliver is a kindergarten teacher and single mom. She lives on Kodiak Island, AK, with her 13-year-old and 2-year-old (who she adopted from Ethiopia) sons.

Describe your job and a typical day for you.

I'm a kindergarten teacher, so since it's summer, my typical day means waking up with my kids and figuring out what adventure we will have that day. There is something special about getting to experience both life as a working mother during the school year and life as a stay-at-home mom during the summer. I really appreciate these summer days together as a family and try to squeeze every last drop out of them because I know they are finite. 

During the school year, however, the alarm sounds at 6 a.m., followed by 30 minutes of frenzied dressing, hair/teeth brushing, eating and shoving things in backpacks before we scramble out the door towards day care and school.

Teaching kindergarten is an incredible experience. I can literally see learning as it is happening. When class ends at 2 p.m. I spend the next couple of hours in meetings, working with colleagues and prepping for the following day before I head out around 4 p.m. Evenings are for family, so we try to keep our committments to a miniumum. My older son does occasionally have guitar and drum lessons and some seasonal sports, but for the most part, nights are for dinner and play and snuggles. We have staggered bedtimes, so I get a little special time with each boy and then a little time for me before we start it all again the next day.

Could you explain a bit about how you became a single mom?

My oldest son's father wasn't capable of being a healthy partner or parent. I have been a solo parent since my son was very young. 

My second son joined our family through adoption. Adoption—international adoption, specifically—is something I have thought about since high school. I knew I wanted to parent another child and I knew there were children out there in need of what I had to give. It was the right fit for my family.

As a working parent, what particular challenges do you face without a spouse in the picture to help you?

I think I probably face many of the same challenges that any other working mother faces. Those challenges feel magnified for me at times as a single mom, but overall I think balancing work and mothering is a pretty tough gig regardless of marital status. Overall, what we as a family miss out on without a second parent is much less related to chores and schedules and even finances, and much more related to not having a second adult who adores these incredible boys, who is bursting with pride at the amazing things they accomplish and who laughs to tears at their quirky little selves.

How do you carve out time for yourself?

I was talking to my older sister the other day, and she told me she makes sure to do one thing for herself each week—yoga, book club, shopping. And I remember thinking how sad that sounded. Only one thing? But then I looked at my own life and realized she was doing pretty well! For now, the only real alone time I can get is after the boys are in bed after 9 p.m. I'd like to tell you that I use that time to soak my feet or read a novel with a glass of wine in hand, but in truth, I usually clean a bit, read some articles, write a blog post or catch up with a friend. Honestly, it's enough for me now. There will be plenty of me time in the future.

It can be easy to feel sorry for single parents, but have you found a silver lining?

I'm not in a serious relationship now, but have been in the past, and know they require work and attention—two things that can be in short supply for working mamas. It's tough enough to balance the needs of my job and my children and myself. If I were looking for a silver lining, one is that the extra time and energy I would be spending on a partner I can give to myself and my kids. Also, there's the decision making. I get to make all the decisions. Sometimes I wish there were another adult to help make the big, scary ones, but the day-to-day decisions about finances and parenting styles and what we're going to eat for dinner—those I get to be in charge of.

What is your working mom mantra?

Balance, balance, balance! Teaching is one of those jobs that can completely consume you. I love this job so much, but I love my family, too. This makes for a real tug of war for my time and energy and attention. 

How do you handle child care?

With my oldest son, I quit teaching and opened my own day care. I did that until he was in full-day school and then went back to teaching full-time. It was a scary risk for me, but I'm so glad I did it. I was able to support my family and be home with my son. Ten years later with my second son, I have made a different choice. I have found the most incredible day care provider. I think that having been a day care provider myself, I really knew what to look for. 

Could you share a working-mom meltdown and how you coped?

With my older son, I missed pretty much every single one of his special school events because they conflicted with the same events for my job as a teacher. I'm not going to lie: It hurts. I do feel guilty and sad, but I try to focus on the fact that this is just part of the way our family works. Every family is different. There are lots and lots of wonderful things about our family—things that make us different and unique in other ways that we love.

If you could interview anyone to gain a little insight into the work life balance, who would it be?

I think there are so many women out there doing this hard work every day—meeting the demands of their careers and their families with grace and without fanfare or celebration. And they are doing it well. They are the women quietly sitting at their desks. These are the women I would like to interview.

Please describe your life in one word.

Joyful!

If you'd like to see more of Anne and her family, click here for an extended photo gallery or find her at her blog.