Whether you feel like you’re stagnating in your 9-5 or are considering ditching it all to pursue your daydream of becoming a skydiving instructor, everyone can use a little career guidance. Here’s how to find a mentor who can help you find clearer focus—and do what you really love.

Do your research. Assuming you want to stay in your field, do a little digging to see who are the key players in your industry. Ask coworkers for their input as well. You might even want to attend networking events—even if you hate them—in order to make new contacts. If you’re looking to do a complete career overhaul, you’ll need to dedicate more time learning the ins and outs of the field you want to pursue, and note the names of people who come up frequently in your searches—those are the people you should try to connect with.

Reach out. Just like when you first started dating your sweetie, you don’t want to come on too strong when reaching out to a potential mentor. So send a polite email asking for a meeting or an informational interview. You can add that you’ve watched the person’s career and deeply admire his accomplishments. If the person you’re looking to mentor you is your boss, you can be more casual by inviting her out to lunch. After sending your first email, you should follow up with a phone call in about a week to make sure that your email was read—and to assess the probability that this person can become a mentor.

Form a relationship. Keep in mind that making a true connection can take some time. It might even mean that you have to speak to various people before establishing a genuine connection with a potential mentor. Look for things you have in common besides work—maybe you both share a fiery love of flamenco music or even spicy tuna rolls. After all, a mentor is not only going to help offer you workplace guidance, (such as giving you tips on how to get a remote job) but will also be a friend to you as you navigate the next steps in your career.  

Jennifer Parris writes about career topics for FlexJobs.com. Working Mother Media and FlexJobs have partnered to help workingmother.com readers find flexible work solutions – such as telecommuting, freelance, part-time and flexible schedule jobs –  for themselves. Learn more here.