We know what you’re thinking: “Have you met my kids? They don’t listen to a word I say.” According to MJ Corcoran, a certified parent coach and spokesperson for the Anheuser-Busch Family Talk About Drinking program, that’s probably not the case.

“Kids do listen to their parents,” she explains, “the problem is, as they get older, they’re listening for different things. What worked when they were 7 won’t work
when they’re 17.” We asked MJ for more guidance.

Working Mother: What is Family Talk About Drinking and how did you get involved?

MJ Corcoran: Family Talk is an underage drinking prevention program that Anheuser-Busch started more than 20 years ago. They contacted me because they really wanted to expand the program and make it something that would be relevant to all parents, no matter how old their kids are.

I thought that was a great approach and suggested that their materials should also show how parenting changes as kids grow up. I was excited because I saw they were very sincere in their desire to make a difference. The employees all said: “We’re parents, too. We’re proud that our company is committed to this.”    

WM: You’re a parent coach. What does that mean?

MJC: It means I have one of the best jobs in the world: I get to help strengthen the relationships between parents and children. (more about MJ here)

WM: Explain parenting stages. What are they, and how do they relate to underage drinking?

MJC: The concept of parenting stages is about adjusting parenting styles to match kids’ developmental needs. For instance, in the teaching stage, kids can’t really process abstract ideas. So, it doesn’t make any sense to tell them what could go wrong if they drink. We just say: “Alcohol is for adults only.”

But as they get older and their brains develop, they start to notice inconsistencies. They may see teenagers drinking and they think, “Hey, what’s that about? I thought you said only grown-ups drink.”

That’s when you’d want to transition into value statements like, “In OUR family, we don’t drink until we’re 21.” Your parenting approach to alcohol may need to change to accommodate your child’s new and more powerful brain.

In as series of articles: MJ walks us through the “stages” of parenting and explains how understanding what to say—and when—can be the key to preventing underage drinking. See related links.