In the era of Sheryl Sandberg’s cry for women to lean in at the workplace, it doesn’t seem that many are. A recent survey conducted by iVillage found that many women were not being proactive in the workplace in terms of advancing their careers or asking for appropriate compensation for their job responsibilities.

The 1,500 respondents in the survey touched on everything from mentors to money, work life balance to building skills. One of the major topics covered was money—or lack thereof. While everyone would like to see more money in their paycheck, women are often times reticent to ask for a raise. This is crucial, since 63% of women feel that they are underpaid—and are unhappy about it. Not surprising, not earning what they feel they deserve was the #1 reason reported for workplace dissatisfaction.

And it doesn’t stop at asking for a raise or a promotion. There are other areas in which women are not speaking up and asking for what they want (and need) to succeed in the workplace. Only 17% of women have ever asked for a meeting with their boss to discuss career options, and a mere 5% have asked for some form of mentorship.

So why are women so afraid to ask for what they deserve? Job security factors heavily into their decision to ask (or not) for a raise or other workplace benefits. The fear is that if asking for anything—be it a raise, promotion, or even career guidance—will somehow count as an X against them and their jobs could subsequently be at risk. 

Beyond benefits and raises, though, what today’s working women really want is a better work life balance. In fact, a whopping 89% of respondents said that they defined career success as the flexibility to balance life and work. Similarly, 48% of women stated that they would be happier if their jobs offered workplace flexibility and telecommuting options.

What can women do to help earn what they deserve and score some better work life balance? Well, knowing what you’re worth is critical. Luckily, it’s fairly easy to figure out what you should be getting paid. So instead of bugging colleagues to reveal their salaries, you can easily see what you should be earning at sites such as salary.com, which boasts a salary calculator.

And whether it’s to ask for a raise, a career mentor or even a flex schedule, go in to your meeting with your boss prepared. Have a plan and be prepared to explain your case with examples of how you’ve contributed to the company. But if your boss turns down your request, don’t panic. Simply be prepared to build your skills to get you to the next level—whether it’s at your current position or a new one—and to the pay grade and job satisfaction that you deserve.

It’s important to know your worth, and to let others know it, too. Asking for what you need in the workplace shows that you value yourself, and will help your boss realize that he needs to invest in you—and your other colleagues—in order to have a staff that is happy and invested in the company.

Jennifer Parris writes about career topics for FlexJobs.com. Working Mother Media and FlexJobs have partnered to help workingmother.com readers find flexible work solutions – such as telecommuting, freelance, part-time and flexible schedule jobs –  for themselves. Learn more here.