It's been a while since my last post, so it's only fi

Do you struggle with trying to be the perfect woman?

I do.

Like most that struggle with perfectionism, I know it’s wrapped into my ego and insecurities.  I consciously know that I need to lighten up on my expectations of myself, but in execution it can be difficult.

I'm not a big wine drinker and don't know much about it. And since I'm newly single and living in an apartment, I no longer give big dinner parties. When guests bring wine, we either drink it or it goes in my wine rack to pass along to someone else.

Life lessons can appear in the most unexpected places.  I was working on one of my blogs last week at the kitchen table.  The smoke alarm starts ringing.  I look up and can see smoke coming out of the oven which triggered the alarm.

I was recently on a business trip to Guadalajara.  On the return flight a young family was seated a couple of rows up from me.  They had a 2 and 4-year-old traveling with them.

Once the plane took off, the 2-year-old girl made it quite clear that she was not a happy camper with the air pressure in her little head and started wailing at the top of her lungs to the horror of her parents.

When I got married at 21 (*cough* child bride *cough*), I had a very different vision of what life would look like at 35 than what it actually does. Never did I expect to be a single mom, navigating the waters of courtrooms and lawyers. I was in love, and if you would've told me then that my conversations with my husband would someday be reduced to a strained "hello" and "goodbye" during drop off and pick up, or that we would eventually be fighting over splitting the cost of a prescription or soccer fee, I would've said you were crazy.

My inner monsters are those characteristics about myself that I don't like very much. These are traits that I've worked hard at over the years to minimize; but occasionally one will rear its ugly head.

No surprise to any woman to hear that we are wired differently than men.  We approach life differently and we remember events differently.

My daughter recently performed in the opening act of Disney's Lighting of Magnificent Mile in downtown Chicago.  The parade is held on a Saturday with the rehearsal for the opening number held Friday evening at 5:30 at a downtown school location.  When I found out that we needed to drive the 35 miles to downtown on a Friday evening; my eyes rolled back in my head … TRAFFIC was all I could think of. 

How often we lament ‘When ___ happens my life will be better’.  The blank may be a job, marriage, new baby or even divorce.  What you can count on is that your life will be altered; but will it be better? 

 My experience has been that my life gets better when I work on me.  If I rely upon external events or people for my happiness; I will be in for a disappointment.  We can’t wave a magic wand and instantly transform our life into happiness.