Mother’s Day was full of the warm and fuzzies of having my child smother me in hugs and kisses while showering me with nine gifts and cards she had made during the past week. Nine! I promise I’m not bragging. I am saying this because I felt very loved by my little girl and never doubt her love and affection for me.

So when she told me later on Mother’s Day that I’m not nice, I didn’t take it personally. Here’s how it played out.

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My husband and I are the epitome of the couple from Jerry Maguire - it's sickening how well we "complete" each other. Still, for as much as we do complement each other, we definitely have our moments where we don't see eye to eye.

Let's take weekends, for example. In my mind, our days should be filled with adventures, crafts, discovery and fun for their curious minds to soak up minute by minute. And maybe some cleaning. Laundry if I'm really feeling adventurous.

I came to the conclusion yesterday that I am seriously lacking in the humor department. See? I can even talk about humor without using the word “seriously.” If I’m honest with myself, I’ve always been aware that I do not have the same sense of humor as others. But it’s not other people I care about. I know that I do not share my husband’s sense of humor, and that’s not a good thing.

The Evolution of Winning

Stage 1 – Bolster Ego

When my boys were young, they lacked the physical skills to be true contenders.  My message about winning had little to do with the final score; it was about being a good sport and enjoying the game.   

Winning was about how you behaved during game play.

I was wrong

Stage 2 – Public Image

In first grade I learned that two is greater than one. But my teacher should have told me that this was only true…in theory. When I had a daughter, the equation became two girls against one boy. Girls win. But simple math doesn’t work in real life. Otherwise, I would not have my husband and my daughter ganging up against me. (Yes, I know that’s still two against one, but the wrong two!) This is why I was an English major. Math gets too complicated in real life.

 How do we manage the chaos every morning before heading out of the door? How do we ensure that the kids have on the right outfit for the weather, lunch boxes, books and other after-school prep materials? Let's not forget our own perfectly tailored suit or dress for work, lunch, reports that were typed overnight, bills that needs to be dropped off, trash that needs to go out, grocery list that needs to be done on our way back from work.

Complaining about husbands who do nothing at home is a universal topic.  Statistics says that fathers in the U.S. with children less than 6 years old do childcare around 1 hour per day.  Similar to fathers in the UK, Germany and Sweden.

In Japan, however, fathers with children less than 6 years old do childcare only 30 minutes.

Yes, compared with other developed countries, Japanese fathers spend shorter time at home and do less housework and childcare even their wives are working.

Have you ever wondered why some products have the most absurd and unnecessary warning labels? For example, the second warning label on the iPod shuffle says, “Do not eat the iPod shuffle.” Okay. Under the care and safety label for Scrubbing Bubbles shower cleaner, it says, “Not a body wash.” Got it. I remember back in my restaurant days, I used to wonder why the Hobart slicer we used to slice vegetables would say, “Not for body parts.” Gross.

I’m having a rough week. That might not be earth shattering to anyone since every human being has bad days and bad weeks. Even my daughter will acknowledge when she’s having a bad day, but I somehow think it’s unacceptable to admit that I’m experiencing some trials. People come to me to help them hold crucial conversations. They ask me how to rebuild trust when trust seems irrevocably damaged. They ask me how to communicate more effectively with other individuals who think and act differently from them.